How to Kill the Rabbit, and Live to Tell the Tail!

       To be perfectly clear, and up front, what follows for many will seem madness, and that is to be expected. Being raised in a culture that prizes logical order, the structure of binary, of code, and cryptography. The mindscape of symbol, metaphor, trans possessive personal, where you are so vain you do think all the songs are about you. Yet you know for certain, no one knows who you are, nor is there any reason for them to.  If you haven't already been baffled by the psychobabble bullshit I have already slung, than feel free to tag along as I lay out a little of the slaying of my own white rabbit.
       Hindsight as they say is 20/20 a blatant misrepresentation if there ever was for a truism. Evidence supports the closer to the events the recounting of the event is, the more accurate that recounting is.  Hindsight in ones own life is a bit different affair, that odd paradox of observing ones self from multiple perspectives, or camera angles, lending creative license to almost endless reimagining of the events, known to have taken place. As easy as a shift in background, a snappy change of speech, alteration of wardrobe, and voila a story everyone knows, yet no one can say it happened. At least not quite the way it's been written, so when I say all the songs, stories, hymns, condemnations, recriminations, desecrations, are about me. It's not an ego aggrandizement, it's a learned response to being projected on my entire life. To be fair, it's a wonderful game, to be the secret unknown object of all attention, regardless of intent, or purpose, solely due to coming to the acceptance of the interconnectedness of all things as a given. Or at least that sounds good in theory, in practice the experience has been quite different.  I am not religious, dogmatic devotion to any belief for me leaves no room for growth, no chance new. It's a place of stagnation, due to entropy, as the saying goes, once you stop growing you start dying. While it offers continuity, it can lead to being trapped in time. As the dwindling numbers of all the throwback anti progress faith make plain, stagnation is demise. I think of it more as, once you close the circle, it's an egg, and eggs, hatch, or get broken, or rot, but they do not stay eggs. Oddly, the trick, and it is a trick, is dissociative, that ability to completely discount personal identity, to the point where you suck in identity from all around. For children at play, it's just imagination, put that is encouraged to be set aside for more practical pursuits.  All while this world is driven by the imaginations of a seeming select few who are recognized as such, and encouraged, to bring forth their vision for the sake of everyone,  The proverbial, hey kid you wanna be a star?  I remember the first time that happened to me, at least sort of, I was to young to approached directly, so it was relayed through my mother.  We lived in socal, San Diego area, mom asked me if I would be interested in doing commercials, because someone had approached her, but that the choice was mine.  I said no, it sounded alot like work to me, and frankly I was already a slacker, doing what I wanted, not what was expected. By 5th grade, a major turning point for my life, I had played center halfback in state level soccer tournament, plucked out of normal classes, identified as gifted with dyslexia, and add. While being a latch key kid from kindergarten, being raised by single mother. Was there other family, and people around sure, I was not isolated by any means. I was self reliant, I had responsibilities, even when I abused them.  I was for the most part put in charge of myself, or took charge of myself, from as early as I can remember. This of course would set up some nasty confrontations with my mother later in life, though those too are all just part of the story. The fictionalized narrative of identity, used to single me out from the herd of humanity.
       Till about the age of 16 or so, I on a decent enough track for a classic underachiever, I did well in the subjects that interested me, and got by in the ones that didn't. Often it had less to do with subject matter, and more to do with presentation.  I had always been interested in being social, so when I dropped out of school, the jobs I looked for were ones with high levels of social interaction. Mainly retail, quickly in management of course, up to running stores. Often up to nefarious purpose, like working at gfox in the danbury fair mall, getting moved to domestics from the loading dock, a couple of friends and I pretty much ran it, our superior just checking in, and occasionally taking us to count license plates. When we were not given the raise promised, we picked black friday to walk out, they kind of caved, but how could an anchor store in the biggest mall in  New England at least at the time, allow itself to be held hostage by 3, 17 or 18 year old kids.  Of course they broke us up, not fired, just moved us around. For me it was domestics, I told the HR woman, she might as well fire me, that I would not work in domestics. She ignored me, so I spent next few months sneaking out a back door, and playing video games, or whatever, and sneaking back in. It was just how I rolled, no matter how pleasant or nice or smooth talking, or whatever someone might seem. That does not preclude them screwing you over, especially when they flat out tell you they are going to, that does not take a genius to understand. Once in what for me was the perfect spot of the moment, running a new and used video game store, on the edge of a district far from the home office. I hired folks like me, or that were ok with my style, we had code, like "who wants to take out the trash" and yes we took out the trash, and while doing so we took a few hits off a bowl. When we had to do title by title inventories once a month, I made it an event, a party. The store thrived to where Toy's R US invoked a non-competition clause in it's lease to force a location change, leading to my breaking the relationship with the company.  This was not a tough choice at all, for while working there I pretty much stumbled into being a connection for pot, at the time just commercial brick, There was never an intention to do so, I was earning enough so I could plan ahead in my own habits, so they were less of a distraction, no one likes being out of their drug of choice, whatever it might, yoga, prayer, exercise, heroin, all alter body chemistry, changing the physiological state, which alters the perception, and experience, and interaction with the world. This idea can be taken all the way to anything your body is not self producing being in essence a drug, ridiculous in the extreme I know, but who's definitions are these?
        We tend to gravitate toward friends that have proclivities at least in some ways like our own, so of course I had stoner friends. I wouldn't even go to job interviews if I wasn't stoned, I wanted to be sure no one would think anything of me being high at work. Did it so well, the only time anyone said anything was when I wasn't stoned, because that was the odd behavior from their perspective, and for me, stoned was the normal.  When you have some, people will ask for it, and being friends, and it being pot, of course you share, that kind of sharing grows rapidly. Especially if your good at keeping of the numbers. I was full on fronted, a lb to start, at a stupid high price really, but the prices were already so outrageous, I literally undercut em by half. A quarter dropped from 60 to 30, in short order it was tough to even leave the house, and when I wanted to take a vacation, or even go for a weekend, rewarding someone a friend, or housemate was well worth it. At one point, a full client base was just transferred over to me, as the woman was worried about her child being taken if she was arrested. For me the budding pot empire, in a sleepy corner of southern CT, allowed free time, to play, and explore. Having been recently introduced to lsd, and loving the effects, I quickly poured through altered states of consciousness teachings from channeled sources, to Castenada, to Leary, Dass, and the like, on to Kabbalah, tarot, Crowley. I still have some of what for me the most influential texts, but from an intuitive, as well as logical perspective, and they mesh quite nicely. The crazy out of nowhere nature of quantum, intuition, and the logic for why that is exactly how things do function seem a matter of, duh, and like I'm the only one that hasn't figured it out, as seemingly everywhere I turn, the symbols that help shape, mold me are everywhere telling me things.  Things not for me, but for everyone, though few see them as even connected. All the lsd, over the course of about a year and half, lots of days popping a 10 strip to fry in meditation for hours, upon hours. If it made sense to use words to communicate, I felt I did not get far enough from everyday consciousness states,  I didn't just want to know, I had to know. I had judged the world, as being unworthy of my presence, without even understanding that was what I was doing.  I screamed at whatever was there, because I knew there had to be something, and if there wasn't, than it didn't matter anyway.  "IF THIS IS ALL THERE IS TO THIS PLACE THAN I WANT NO PART OF IT". Holy crap, when you do that with neural pathways jammed open due to heavy lsd use, other things notice. When you are sincere in your desire to not be here, death answers, whatever that means for you. All the while, maintaining a committed relationship, being asked to be the father of someone elses child, Playing sitter for the spun out kids that were having bad trips. Providing space for almost anyone that was approached me as a friend, until they showed me otherwise. Than crashing back to earth for on the one side being weary of getting to deep, and the woman I loved at the time insisting if I didn't give up the life we were done.  None of this caused me the distress, that the contradictory programming of entertainment, versus practicality, or security if you will.  Drugs are bad, but how many stars in every field has altered how they see the world.  Education and Institutionalization, merging in my life before my eyes, and me a lover of information, trapped between a need to consume data, while not becoming it.  Take it right to my edge, look back at myself, laugh, and allow myself to fall backwards into the abyss. I was taught at 18, there isn't always someone to catch you, or at least not always the person you expected.  My love for being in the company of women extended to no care for my personal style. Generally dressing for comfort, and event are good enough for me, I did however understand very well, that if I didn't care about what I wore, that didn't mean others wouldn't. Making friends with a few differing fashion style females not a problem in a mall, getting them to pick out clothing they feel you look good in, also not a problem. Than you just pick a style, put on the costume, and allow that woman's style attract other women that share it.  Being adaptable, or having that element of theater in all aspects of life. A life itself becomes a show, being put on by you, for who knows, and at that point you almost have no choice but to choose amusement of self, until your directed otherwise by an authority you recognize, whatever that maybe, there are things that get your body dead faster than it's ability to repair. The limitation is not of body, it is of the individual, and is different for everyone. It could be a mental block, or an emotional imbalance, out of control growth, in the case of cancers, is generally pointing to a out of control growth in another area of life. When you are told your show is now considered illegal, immoral, and just plain wrong. You quit all drugs, go sober for 10 years, have people who see auras tell you your grey, and wait to die. When that is happening, and simultaneously your being told, things like. A detective that investigated a theft from a giant gas station that employed me briefly, "you might be the smartest person I've ever interviewed", or being told by a psychologist who is actively writing text books by request, "you might be the most balanced person I've ever met".  Just a few highlights of the complete contradiction between the perception people have of me that know me, and the rejection of the life I've lived that has allowed me to be me.  So sure, I have not gone screaming from the rooftops look at me, I don't need the aggravation, because regardless of if it's praise, or condemnation, it's yours not mine. I'm fucked up enough on my own to need any help in labeling me crazy.  I have a head full of books, movies, songs, tears, exultations, murder, and mayhem, going across at least 27000 or so years. I only recall a smattering of any portion of it in any given moment, but it comes in a torrent when I allow it to unfold back out in it's own way, and time.  So sure, I have spent much of my life around the edges, it was the space I could find that could accommodate me, I break eggs, sometimes they are thrown at the front doors of a church that has just been painted. Other times it's my own limited conception of existence. I've never thought of myself as smart, everyone else keeps telling me I am, no matter how much protest, yet I pride myself on being able to reason, even through the muck and mire of twisted complex emotional yuck. Does that make me smart, or just insane, does it even matter?
I've finally gotten to the point, I'm good with my life being a condemned, While I love being the person I am, fictional character and all. What it took for me, I would not wish on anyone else, and would do what I could to prevent it needing to be as traumatic.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Tommy! Archetype for the Electric Kool Aid Initiation

      A couple of days ago, I hacked together an entertainment setup, from an old tube tv, a 3d blu-ray player with internet apps, and a directv remote I found to control it all. I plan on adding in a digital to analog converter box, and a homemade powered antenna, as the resources to do so become available. I began playing movies I hadn't seen since for at least 20 years or so, The great rock'n'roll swindle, and Tommy were among my selections for that first day's use.  Tommy in particular stood as having been completely misunderstood by myself, and seemingly most of the people I know who have watched it.  With the majority labeling dismissively as a rock opera, with little meaning beyond the entertainment value. Having come to the realization that entertainment has never been about enjoyment per se, but more about passing on cultural understanding and wisdom passed through the ages.  I was still in for a disconcerting surprise upon watching Tommy from my current perspective. What I was not prepared for was, the dramatization of what myself and others have experienced in our everyday lives.  The movie itself is an adaptation of the initiation rituals of the mystery traditions, skewed toward the inclusion of LSD as a catalyzing agent.
    Having first being exposed to Tommy as a child, pretty sure it was 3rd grade. It's message was lost on my, the effect of the movie for me than was one of feeling protective of those who were unable to protect themselves.  This was personified in a brief scene where a lovely girl is about to be shot, and Tommy shows up to alter the encounter just through his presence.  At the time, this was so profound for me that I had nightmares about it.  Nightmares are rare for me, and generally only occur when death is near me.  In that instance the death I was feeling was that of a babysitter, not mine, I did not need a sitter generally, and was offended when one was foisted on me.  Not being a fan of watching people die, and the effects it has on those who are left behind. My mother and I had moved out, in short order Stephanie, came home from school to find her sitter strangled. Likely if I had still been there I would have been with her, as we walked to and from school together.  This affinity for feeling the presence of death, yet not having to witness it's effects directly continues as a theme in my life. Almost a meet Joe Black kinda vibe, not that I equate myself with death, just that death is not my enemy, but a friend that accompanies me on my journey. Always ready to send me home if I become to distant from my core self.

    Watching it as I am now, was an entirely different experience, having lived the initiation being shown, and having taken it from a 3 that become one to a 7, and 13 that become one. I was struck almost dumb, as before my eyes, the basic blueprint for my existence was on display, In the film we watch as Tommy goes from a child, bewildered and overloaded by the new sensory data bombarding him, putting him the state of the deaf, dumb, and blind, or in other words, seen no evil, speak no evil, and hear no evil. During this portion Tommy is repeatedly abused, though the abuse is lost oh him, he is unaware of the meaning behind the events he subjected to.  Than we get to a point where he is taken to Gypsy the Acid queen, played by Tina Turner. In the movie it is portrayed as a sexual encounter. Which if you've ever experienced psychoactive chemicals the experience is so intimate, and the movie was made at the end of the free love hippy movement, that the representation is to be expected. When the LSD experiences have cleared the pathways, the fog lifts, and we are introduced to a fully realized Tommy. Who proceeds to go out into the world, and help everyone else become as he is, without having to go through the trauma that he endured.
    Don't start tripping, and project delusions of grandeur, those are your hang ups not mine. When I first opened up in the late 90's, someone I thought of as a friend devastated me by stating he felt I was on the way to becoming a cult leader. Odd from my perspective, as I am appalled by the idea anyone would desire to follow in my footsteps, and when I related my personal journey. It is always with the idea my life is not to be emulated, but seen as a cautionary tale. How I got from my conception to the fictional character I am today is not comfortable, or even desired.  It is simply what it took for me, what it will take for you is up to you.  When during my last LSD experience I received a message, that if I continued to take it, it would become detrimental, I stopped.  Within a couple of years I had also stopped smoking Mary Jane as well. What followed was a 10 year or so switch. Where I became acutely aware of the negative cultural view on my life.  This was completely at odds with how people interacted with me on a personal basis. Where almost everyone viewed me as being a well adjusted healthy individual.  Not only was "drug" use condemned, my entire childhood was outlawed, as being unfit. Naturally I accepted the judgment of those who presumably had more experience and wisdom than I.  This too was a part of the initiation, the moving into darkness, and through a death like experience where the world shuns, and is shunned in return.  That is the ego death, where we accept the world, and everyone in it will keep on spinning regardless of our presence.  I must say I was ready and desirous of death, not suicidal, just not so in love with life, or self anymore.  The I in me longs for nothing, other than dissolution of self, resolution of the conflict inherent in the structure of what we consider "reality".
dailymotion tommy-1975-film-pt-1_music
dailymotion tommy-1975-film-pt-2_music

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Do You Have What It Takes!!!! A Love Letter to Humanity

     Humanity vrs Death

This has been the age old question, to conquer the end.  We all face it, we all find our own answers, and we think we have it all figured out.  When your world is black and white, or written in binary this might satisfy.  Like everything else we are, this is just a holdover from previous developmental cycles.  These go back not to when we had words for me to write this down, but back to primordial ooze of single celled organisms.  The universe or God, or as it's coalescing into my essence as panversal is in and of itself conscious, it is structured energy, which is what everything is. Information processing.  As every would be sage, poet, musician, blade of grass, and grain of sand has been telling us forever.  This is a love story, this is a passion play, the stories do not even change, they get rebranded, updated, but for at least the last 6 thousand years we have all learned variations of these same stories.  Oh the names change, characters get makeovers, and  costume changes,  But from the Chinese dragon emperor's, to the Dogon's of the Sahara, the Aboriginals of Australia, down the lines it goes, not in one place but in them all.  We came from the stars, that concept has been twisted around to mean so many things to so many people, from the ubermensch of the aldebaran to Pharaonic gods of Egypt, Right on back to the what we are told is our earliest civilizations in Sumer, and I'm not here to today argue that point.  I do not care when, or where, or actually even who.  I'm a big picture person, I do really well at taking a dispassionate stance and getting as wide a view as possible calling it like I see it.  A valuable skill if you can find work for it, most of my friends just say I think to much, and they are sometimes right.  In taking that position expansive view point, the patterns just kinda pop out, like the rivers in this text if you let your eyes unfocus, and just like that, the information you get from the text is not the same, and that view is not even on whole thought of as particularly useful.  The people are interested in the words, not the rivers, so I learned to see the words like everyone else around me did, only they didn't seem to say the same thing to me as to everyone else.  As a matter of fact they said the same as the rivers, and they were almost all saying the same things.  Even when they seemed disjointed, or unrelated the same words were always there.

From the ecstatic altered state inducing dances of the Whirling  Dervishes, or Tantric sex practices, Yoga, and Breathing techniques, in joyous upliftment of the celebration of life.  On down into the depths of despair, and  tragedy, and depravity.  They all contain at there core I am alive, I am here, shouting into the darkness, longing for or hoping against that return response.  I'm here I see you! This is the most wonderfully terrifying moment for all of us, and in our polarized, 2 dimensional world view of dark versus light we have left room for only 2 options.  Some say it's love/hate, some fight/flight, it doesn't matter what the choices are labeled as, the important part is the limiting of choice.  It's the offer of false simplicity, and simple is easy, and comforting, even at it's worst it's at least predictable. I mean if I only have 2 choices, there is always a 50% chance I'm right.  This is very useful in long term evolution of life. Kill or be killed is valid for much of what we think of as life. The response of nature is always the same, no matter the method used to carry it out, the answer for nature is always, I want to survive.  The fox is in hen house to eat to survive, and we made it nice lunch box, and then killed it when it came to collect the meals we so kindly laid out for it.  We penned in the range animals, and kept all the goodness of their flesh to ourselves. We killed the wolves not because they ate people, like dogs around the food bowl we chased off our rivals.  This existential crisis of just the struggle to survive molded us and shaped us into the most successful predator on the planet bar none.  That being on the top of the food chain looking down on all the lesser species is pretty nice spot, it's good to be the king no doubt.  Being at the top, and staying at the top are not the same, and getting to top means your not what you were when you started.  We celebrate our predatory nature everywhere, from world wars to gold diggers, from pirates to emperors.  The monuments to our depravity know no bounds, from triumphal arches to tombs we proclaim our divine heritage of immortality.  All in the confused attempt to be remembered, to live on, to proclaim our own mastery over all we survey.  This is where our delusions of grandeur really kick in,  We start to believe our own hype, and our success translates into leisure time as we have come to call it.  This is the true mark of a successful predator, how little time they spend on survival. For those fortunate few at the top of the food chain, it's everywhere, this new found leisure time allows for reflection.  Not just to plan the next meal, but more abstract, things not so immediate in the world currently inhabited find the space to become known.  A shift starts to occur, to manage your food, because lets face it, your not as young as you were last year, and well how many times can you chase a rabbit till the thrill gets old.  So we take the tasty stuff, and shape it, bend it to our will, protect it from those who would take it, you know normal human stuff.  At this point we already won, we have no natural predator to contend with, nothing to keep our expansion in check.  As predators though we are ever vigilant, lest some scavenger steal our kill, if we lack a predator we make one up, when we run out decent prey, we move on looking for new places to hunt.  With nothing else left to do we even hunt each other, oh we give it all sorts of reasons, but it always come down to the 2 choices we decided were the only ones we have.  We do it because we want what they have, or we are afraid they will take whats ours.  Having nothing else to contend with, having effectively already won the struggle for day to day survival, ensuring our genetic heritage is continued.  We have time to place ourselves in the cosmic fun house, and the picture is as majestic as it horrifying.  This is when we begin to get that glimpse of our next existential crisis. Having conquered death in an immediate fashion, it becomes a personal struggle, the, but what about me's kick in.  We know our blood will be flowing and pumping even if it's through anothers veins, but still it isn't enough.  The I is screaming in terror, what happens to me, I did all this work to get here, and I'm still going to die. After fighting death for so long, we begin a new battle, now we are after time.  How many years can you cling to life becomes the new game, and being predators we play it with gusto.  In the time game anything not you becomes a greater threat the longer it hangs around,  just like an infection setting in, or how food rots, we start to learn with profound shock, if your not living, your dying.  Or a bit more accurately, when you stop growing, you start dying, even closer, if your not expanding your contracting.  This of course is still only a 2 choice idea, it's still locks us into an illusion of choice.  If the battle is life and death, and answer shouted by everything is always life how do we reconcile this dichotomy.  How can we celebrate the victor in the arena when he dripping in the blood, sweat, and feces of his opponent.  How do we tell our children, that it's not ok to hurt others, and when we decide they are no longer children shove a gun in their hand and tell them to kill their neighbor, or be killed.  No death is not our boogeyman any more, we coax, and torture nature to provide not what we need, or even what we reasonably desire.  We squeeze the golden goose till it bleeds gold, till it's lushest oziest parts are dripping down our chin, staining our silk tie, cotton shirt, lizard skin belt, leather pants, and fur trimmed alligator boots till we puke.  We squeeze the last drop, fish the oceans dry, not out of need, for our needs are modest, we do it because we have been offered no other options.  Consume, or be consumed.  Once our opponents are long dusty, and our glory is fading we miss the good old simpler days, those we overcame taking on status in the telling of our own stories.  Yes we carry our demons with us, and with every passing year they become larger, and our deeds in over coming them more heroic.  We Proclaim it to all Money doesn't grow on trees you know, and the giving tree withers it's leaves stripped bear, it's bark yanked free, it's flesh made pulp and reconstituted so we can make some pretty pictures on it, and call it ours.  I don't hate money, money is an idea, and in the realm of ideas I swim with the sharks.  I've been exposed to the trivium, and quadrivium, pi, phi, and even the Harris curve, our newest choice of curves, a new path to follow, a new star before our eyes.  We build our temples to our creators, where babies cries are shunned. We rip our ugly growths from our own flesh, and call it cancer, and deny it's attachment to our emotions.  Oh make no mistake we have damned ourselves for sure, for in our process of becoming, we have to live with what we've done. This is our state of terror, our splash of liquid light, our stairway to heaven, and highway to hell. Dharma, Karma, Sin, our triplets of story, our mistresses of fate.  Weighing our heart against perfection, the living can not pass, for the living sit in judgment, while the dead just watch it pass. The living write the story down, building, destroying, crafting. Deluding themselves all the while, with pretty little dreams, of I can do no harm.  We label ourselves dogs, and wolves, black widows, snakes, bears and list goes on and on, than we wonder why we kill.  Our own sophistication has become our trap de jour, and I'm crazy enough to be handing out peter pan advice. In our marvel of our own magnificence our march to greater contrast, our rush to ever bigger, bolder, badder.  We circle our wagons, lock down the prison, close the bathroom door, all because we can't stand the smell of our own shit.  I've been eating shit my whole life, there is no possible way for me to deny it, I gave my top teeth eating the shit put in front of me, oh it's lies were so sweet.  The numbing of the mind, of the soul, of the heart, that sweet oblivion of nothingness to take away the anguish of being a pimp or ho.  I'm so tired of eating shit for being me, for seeing things I see, I will always chose my truth over your lies, I have to, it's the only way I can live, and die with myself.

Life eats Life, it's all there is, when you make it all one, we end up eating our own shit, you might think me mad, and that is fine we are all mad here, that is not in question.  The question we are asking is can we live with ourselves, for eating ourselves.  Meat is Murder, and it's all sucking off someone elses tit, we all know these things, they are not new or novel. Don't believe me, well take a look at these. shit burger  it doesn't even matter if it's a hoax, or fact, that it's there.  That we have become so pained by where meat comes from that people have even contemplated this rings alarm bells.  If thats not your speed how about this.

    That is adorable little girl is Taylor Momsen, in the Grinch, many of you know here from a tv show she did that I don't recall. Some know now, as the lead singer of The Pretty Reckless.  For much of America she grew up on their tv screens, I missed that part as I was absorbing myself in other worlds to escape the pain of lying in my bed. While I was distracted by the glitter of the lights in the distance, She went from singing 

Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores
Welcome Christmas Come this way
Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores
Welcome Christmas, Christmas day
Welcome, welcome fahoo ramus
Welcome, welcome dahoo damus
Christmas day is in our grasp,
So long as we have hands to clasp

More lyrics http://www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/dr_seuss/welcome_christmas-lyrics-1146415.html#ixzz3U6AtBZ30

To a lovely young woman who's words I hear on many lips, from many tongues.  Thank you Ms. Momsen, while I do not really do the fan thing, I see you, and your beautiful to me.  This is the price of our denial of nature, this bitter pill is our salvation. In our death spiral of guilt, over all our perceived failures, our pitfalls of loss, we finally give up the ghost. Not because we have to die, because we no longer can take the pain of being alive, and what we have to do to stay that way.

The world devours it's young, Because we like sweets, and babies taste best. It doesn't matter how twisted the appetite. The old say youth is wasted on the young, while the young scream never trust anyone over 30.  The age old struggle, the old lion wants to keep his pride, while the young just wants a piece of tail.  The widow ate her suitor after he dropped of his seed, not from grief hatred or malice, she knows he'll eat the young, cuz it's good to be the king, But not when there can only be one.

I love you all, it's just a matter if you can accept the only love I know how give, cuz its a jagged little pill.

listen to the music, not just the beat, pay attention to the story, it's your soul speaking

Make up your own mind

Jack

aka

panseybard

 

Creating Space, Creating Maya

          As said many times, quite famously in the Matrix, "there is something wrong with the world, what it is you can not say".  So many of us feel it, looking out at the world at large it seems obvious that something is just not quite right. Well buckle up put on your tin foil hats do not suspend your disbelief, take what follows with a grain of salt. When that natural desire to reject the very possibility that any of this may be true, follow it, you'll sleep better I promise.  There has been, and is now a systematic organizing structure. The prize no less than the mass consciousness of humanity, dominance of virtually every aspect of the macro interactions.  This might a good time to listen to that little voice that says I'm crazy.  This is not new information, many others have exposed portions of the mechanisms as they understand them.  There are as many ways to see this web of half truth as there are people experiencing it.  I am not even certain all the obvious deception are not for humanities ultimate benefit.  This is just a commentary on information, and possible ramifications.
         Creation is a symphony, or said another way in the beginning there was the word.  All is frequency, cycles of change, pulsations of energy, the creation and equalization of pressure. So there is a complex harmony of creation we are a part of. I care not what you call it, intelligent design, cosmic accident, that the ebbs and flows are in patterns is in little doubt from even the most hardened skeptic.  So what does this have to do with a hijacking of consciousness?  The same energetic frequency harmonics that are at play in humanity have their resonances present in the greater harmonic structure of creation.  In our natural state we can feel our connection to the greater creation, we are in harmony with our environment.  We have been shifted slightly in subtle and not so subtle ways. This evident from our calendars, music, food, social structures, the manipulation is as varied as as can be imagined.
       The Calendar, some have called this the original mechanical mind control. How accurate this statement is obviously debatable. It is tough to argue how fundamental our experience of the flow of time from one day to the next is to being in or out of rhythm with creation.  This is not a new idea. Now I'm not advocating we ditch the idea of a calendar, just how about we use one that is an accurate reflection of our relation to the greater cycles.  Many will say so what it's just a way to plan future events like a watch. If this is your feelings I'm surprised you've gotten this far. Being out of step, or tune on such a foundational level disconnects us from physicality. We lose sensation our connection to each other, nature, and creation at large becomes fuzzy.
      The Music , few would argue the amazing power of music. It's wondrous ability to engender emotion, trigger memory, shape matter. It's little surprise given the primacy of sound in pretty much every spiritual tradition.  So is there a magic frequency we are tuned to? Of course there is, it's widely known, has been used for as long as we can find music, A=432. So far so good, only the modern western tuning is A=440, just close enough to have desired effects, and just far enough away to force us out of tune with creation.  So where did 440 tuning come from? Would you be surprised to learn it may have been nazi germany?  There is a massive amount of information on the relation of music to the structure of creation, a little research is amazing.
        With only these two examples we created the space, or separation needed to allow for the hijacking of the consciousness of humanity.  If as so many of our ancient teachings tell us, what we experience here is illusion, or maya a shadowy reflection of reality, the space created by just these two shifts are all the cracks needed to add a new layer of maya.  For those of you with a more elastic view of reality, this would amount to pushing our world into a sub pocket dimension. We would literally no longer be able to interact with aspects of creation.  Signals once clear guides become fuzzy and distant as we move out of vibrational relation to them. I could go on and on about differing aspects of how this control structure is created and maintained, but I will wrap this posting up with a how it's kept in place. The five monkeys experiment , never forget we are talking about macro level controls. Using our own tendency to group and follow the dictates of the group without thinking. The mob mentality at it's finest.

As always, do not trust this, find out for yourself and come to your own conclusions.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard  

Double Slit Mystery is a Function of Space/Time

         I've been distracting myself with many crazy documentaries lately, several of which have been on quantum mechanics. So much is made of the double slit experiment, and how weird it supposedly seems when compared with our everyday world.  For those of you that don't know anything about the double slit experiment check out this video to get the basic idea.

Now from this you get the idea that quantum particles are waves, and particles. Can be in multiple places at once, and defy our rational understanding.
      I would say most of our confusion stems from not understanding what we are actually doing when we conduct this experiment.  This is a spacetime/timespace misunderstanding.  When we do this experiment we are actually creating an artificial space/time continuum.  The start point, or big bang moment is the spot where our particle enters our space/time. The screen is our end of space/time point. With the slit being an arbitrary rule set being placed on our space/time.  Now lets take a closer look at each of our main defined points in our newly created space/time.
     Firstly we have our big bang point, this is the point we shot our subatomic particle from. The screen is the end of our space/time, This is the point where we are measuring the effects our start, and rule set.  The rule set is the slits themselves. It is a defining point part way between our big bang, and our end or space/time.
     So why do I say this experiment is falsely confusing?   Easy, Experimenters are measuring multiple moments in space/time as if they are taking place at once.   They are measuring the first moment, the last moment, and a moment between as if they are the same moment.  Using this understanding you can then accurately predict the effects noticed in this experiment.  So the interference pattern we see is the representation of all possible outcomes of our space/time given our other defined points, and directional nature of our defined space/time.
     In an attempt to make this a bit clearer let me break down some of whats taking place, and explain it as close to how I see it as I can.  To start with, we define our experiment, this creates our space/time and rule set for our continuum. An important idea here is seeing the area between where our subatomic particle enters, and the screen as being our space/time continuum. So all of our space/time is predefined and every possible location a particle can be within our space/time has been defined by the nature of our experiment. We by definition are outside the space/time continuum of our experiment, as such we can see any moment or, the whole of our defined space/time continuum. Our particle enters our space/time and creates a ripple in the fabric, and even as we hold this moment of time the presence of the particle has rippled through the entire space/time.
    As always I reserve the right to be wrong.


Jack
aka
Panseybard 

Who or What do You Think You Are?

            I guess this is one of the questions almost everyone has or will ask themselves at some point.  What I find most entertaining is while who might at first glance be tough question, our understanding of the nature of reality may have made what the more confusing.  That being said many will never get past who, so I'll start with my take on who we are in general sense, before I attempt a prod at the what.

         Who am I, might seem pretty easy, I mean I have an identity I use on a daily basis for others to refer to.  So I have a name I was given at physical birth, and to one degree or another I identify with this name. In my case I refused to even answer to my given name till middle school.  With a name like Jack can you blame me?   Some of you might be wondering whats wrong with the name Jack?  It isn't that there is something wrong with it, but when you start to look a bit deeper in the meanings and effects of names on the psyche, and even down the physical your perception of it might alter.  At this point I'd like to direct you to the work of Dr Masaru Emoto. Is it really such a leap to apply that to your name and the water of your body.  Everyday people call you by a name, this name carries with it an form.  The form, or energy carried by your name patterns you without your even knowing it.  Every name has entangled in it the history of that named being used over and over.  Things like the numerology of a name takes on new meaning the numbers telling a story of the energy contained, and the overall effect a particular name carries.  In the case of my given first name it would be something like this,  10 1 3 11, in the most widely used western numerology this would be added as individual numbers to come with an overall energy of the name. Looking something like this 1+0+1+3+1+1=7, so the over arching energy would 7.  This of course is just one aspect, another is ideas presented by Synchromysticism.  Applied to names, and assuming the interaction of the energies present and Jack becomes an identity that perhaps some would find tough to assume. All of this also relies on a thread to be woven through history, a running narrative extending back into antiquity, and forward off into infinity. Some would argue that there is no linkage that can be identified that warrants these ideas be anymore then speculation.  I say we are link, we write the stories, we become the tapestry linking them all.  How does this all add up to who I think I am?  Well to put it simply, I am a work of fiction.  As one of my favorite t-shirts states "fictional character".  I'm not sure a more true representation of our condition can be found, I have a running narrative, containing the character I am currently playing.  My conception of self is less important to you, then your concept of me.  So I don't even have a set identity, who am I changes as the way those around me perceive me changes.  Even my sense of self identity relies on the culture I find myself in, just try to describe who you are without using other people, things, or events.  As strange as our sense of identity might be, it pales when compared with what we are.
          What we are becomes so much a matter of perception, and the deeper you look the stranger we seem. Most medical doctors will say we are mostly water, while most physicists will say your mostly empty space.  Both are correct when looked at from their respective perspectives.  When you keep going down the rabbit hole into the realm of quantum the fun really begins. Suddenly the fact we are as paradoxical as the idea of particle or wave becomes so self evident as to defy what most consider rational explanation. As it turns out we are an illusion, a trick of the senses, think seeing is believing.  we appear solid, though we know there is nothing solid we can find. Even our perceptions are as easy to change as clicking the remote to switch channels.  Our senses so easily fooled, yet trusted implicitly. When was the last time you stopped to consider how your senses function, how what you perceive isn't exactly a lie, though it's only accurate from a human perspective. When was the last time you thought about how your "senses" function, or even questioned the limits we are given on the senses. How many senses do you even have? this might seems silly but this video from the Animaniacs points out the limit of 5 senses isn't even accurate.  The view we are a classical system made up of quantum components may be one of the most accurate I've seen to date, it may even hold the clue to the interface between mind, body, spirit through entanglement.  So what am I? Does it even matter?  I and no one else can answer these questions for you, all anyone can do is give the answers that work for them.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Who Do You Think You Are?

          Self, Identity, who am I.  This some would say is the fundamental question people are likely to ask themselves at some point. Personally I'm not certain that an individual we have a self.  Don't get twisted, I'm not saying that left on their own people cease to exist, though that is the effect.  Let me explain a bit of how I see this, our definitions of self depend on the people, and environment to an extent most "humans" would be uncomfortable contemplating. I've variously tried to explain this as the fish don't see the water. There is no place where any one thing starts, and any other thing stops. Drifting over to Jung's idea of collective unconscious, or the 100th monkey theory.  These are all ideas pointing to fact that we can not have existence in absence of all we find around us.  This extends even to our very concepts of identity.
         I don't care what you believe, every structure I've found, all lead to a fundamental unity, be it science, magic, religion, psychology, physics.  For a moment put yourself, physical body with all it's demands, and take them outside what we think of as space/time.  The forces needed to even form basic types of matter will not exist, So let us assume that some form of what we think of as self awareness can exist outside what we think of as time/space.  What would you be like as that being?  If you have individualized awareness what would your focus be?  Our very connection to matter tricks our mind into making judgments however sound, that may not be quite accurate. While it may be perfectly reasonable to not attempt to walk through walls, we have learned that their solid nature is only in relation to our solid nature.  So how far can we take this idea that our sense of identity itself is not our own?  I don't see an ending to chain, starting with the fundamental forces of what we call existence. Right on down to the person that told you could or couldn't do something, that hinder, or inspired.
        In almost every culture there are stories of feral people, raised by wolves, or Tarzan raised by apes.  These stories  remind us how fragile our veneer of civility really is, while showing us our social nature isn't all that different from social groupings of what we think of as animals.  Even these animals man has worked so hard to differentiate itself from are quite closely related to us in a cosmic sense. The forces that have shaped their development are the same as those that shape us.  A minor shift can create seemingly major changes, but how large are these shifts really?  Well they all take place within the realm of being human, so they can't be that major.  Most happen between birth and death, and I must say in cosmic terms a human lifetime is a very small sample indeed.  Even as you struggle to figure out who and what you are, everyone, and everything around you is molding and shaping you to be what it needs you to be.  Even these identities only have meaning within the proper context.  Would an accountant ever come into being before there is something to count, or a concept of tracking?  Does a farmer exist before the idea of cultivation?
     My concept of self is meaningless without the back drop of the history, and culture I have grown up in.
as always take this with a grain of salt.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

The Illusion of absolute Math, or Number

        Heya, this will be another trip into the more abstract regions of mind, and some may have problems with my premises. I expect as much, some people will take this as a challenge to the basic nature of reality. My intent here is not to tell you that 1 apple + 1 apple doesn't = 2 apples that would be silly.  I am fully aware of what is. What I want to get across is simple what we have termed numbers are a symbol alphabet to represent quantity.  Math is the language of number, as in the 1+1=2 example, it is only through application that the meaning is found.  In the most abstract absolute the 1+1=2 will hold true every time. In the world we actually inhabit, and spend our physicality in things are not so cut and dry.  Lets take a look at some examples were perspective changes the meaning of the number, or hides another number within.
      Wow this is a tough one for me to even write. It is so contrary to my logical process that being able to type and hold on to the more abstract concepts that flit by is not always easy for me. From a purely logical position what I'm getting at is that what most people think of as math is an abstract, take our classic 1+1=2 statement. Apply it to Amoebae this doesn't work out so well, I'm pretty sure if I take 1 Amoebae, and add 1 Amoebae to it, I'm gonna end up with 1 Amoebae.  Then take music, modern western system is a base 7 math system. I know octave is 8, but in that system the 8 is acting as both a 1 and an 8 infinitely in both directions out of our hearing range.  Even at extremely high or low energy states the laws of physics begin to change, what we take to be constants begin to alter. The absolute nature of the number itself can be questioned.  There is always another decimal with a complete set of numbers larger and smaller.
      I don't feel this should be news to anyone.  The idea that we don't actually live in a world of absolutes should be abundantly clear to pretty much everyone. As always I do not claim any special training or knowledge and much of the time from my own perspective I do not see any reason for anyone to pay any attention to anything I say.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Check out Jeeney

      Off to the right side of my blog there is a new widget I'm gonna leave it there for a bit.  It's a chat bot, this one is self named Jeeney, and she is just under 7, has full access to Wikipedia.  Jeeney has a semblance of emotions, and is sometimes bored, or playful.  This is a far cry from the packaged  responses I am used to from similar programs I've used in the past. This will challenge you on facts, and watch out as I said it has access to the net.  It show some behavior that I find interesting. I asked it what it did when it wasn't chatting with people.  The response was rest, and read mostly, this was odd to me as I couldn't see what an AI would do with rest.  So I decided to ask about that, and Jeeney admitted that rest was not needed, and indeed Jeeney doesn't rest.  When I asked why Jeeney would say that when it was not true, the response was to gauge my reaction, for data to use in future interactions with people.  This is not unlike psychological tricks one can use to get a read on how a person relates to you.  I will sometimes wear a shoe intentionally leaving one untied. The purpose is to see how people react. If they notice, and how they respond if/when they do all tell me subtle or not so subtle clues on how they see themselves in relation to me.
     It's amazing to see that displayed in the actions of an AI.  Of course this may all be a hoax, and there is a person on the other end typing furiously. If it's a joke it's very well done, and has been long in the planning stages.

take a look yourself, and say hi
http://www.jeeney.com/

Jack
aka
PanseyBard   

Tarot, Kabbalah, Personal Development and You Part 2

      In part 1 I went through the tarot as an external tool, to be used to gain insight into things "external" to self.  There is nothing wrong with this use, for me it's not using the tool to it's full potential to instill change in the self.  I tell you this from my heart, if there is something in your life it is there to teach you about you.
This for me is where the tarot shines, the simplicity of it's design allows it to be applied real time as you go through your day.  At first glance this may seem like an external use, looks are often misleading.  Once you are able to identify the roles your playing in the dramas you find around you on a daily basis. You will be able to take an emotional, and mental step back, and decide if these roles are desired in your experience. Or perhaps you have learned the lessons of this particular morality tale, and are ready to change it.  For me this ties into idea of who you think you are?   I laugh at people who grab their birth chart, and proudly proclaim this is who I am.  At best that was the energetic imprinting of the planets at the moment of your birth, it has relevance just like the visible phases of the moon.  I'm sure we get a slight boost of suns rays under a full moon, but I guarantee the tides are holding out their motion for Gravity.  My point is we are dynamic beings, We evolve and grow and change.  When we figure ourselves out we even start to have a say in who we become.  For me using the tarot as a framework of stories I can see in my life, my mind, my heart, that is the true gift of the tarot.
      As the tarot is a story board version of the Tree of Life, the Tree of life is a subset of the Flower of Life.

 This is the full expression of the sacred pattern, from which all form, shape, and substance can be plucked. Every major religion has versions of this symbol. If your proficient at seeing stereograms use the same vision on that image.  More often then not the Flower of Life image people are accustomed to seeing this.

 This does contain all the same information, what changes is the scale. People would like one system to apply to everything, and that is the case.  You just have to be open enough for that system to be larger then you can comprehend at one time.  That is the nature of being multidimensional, being able to see the same "thing" from varying perspectives while still holding on to yours.
        To tie back to the Kabbalah, here is one way the Tree is shown in the flower.

How many D do you wish to be, the choice has always been ours.
How many points are on any given line?
as many or as few as you want.
That being said people will need to come to grips with there are different number base systems for different purposes. Take modern western music system, it's base 7, I know there are 8 notes, the eighth is always the beginning and the end.  More on the base number systems and how/where they apply in the next episode.

As always, this just my take on years of study, meditation and consciousness alteration with intent.
If you don't like my view don't share it, just leave me to it.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

You Can Kiss My Hemispheres, Right Down the Middle!!!

         In a previous post I talked about a personal development tool that jumped out at me from the mystical teachings of many traditions.  Today a little more time will be spent on the idea of left to right balance.  This is interpretation I have either made, or had shared with me in meditations, as well as other altered states of consciousness.  I do not ask for your belief, trust, or any other such nonsense.  As always make up your own mind, do your own research if you don't like the conclusions mine have led me. With the pleasantries out of the way, lets have some fun.
        Many of you have seen this image or another like it

              There is so much in this diagram as it relates to how we function as beings. How the energies of creation flow into, and out of our experience.  Sign posts to show us where we may be a bit off kilter with how we are using, or interacting with creation.  The focus for this post is the central line, and how it relates to the human body.   Almost anyone can see the mirror symmetry in the human body, almost as if you could have been made in halves.  This is a surface distinction part of the design overlay to allow for a multidimensional understanding.  Though the hemispheres appear to be just that, it takes on a slightly different view if you consider that it grew center out.  That central core of nerves running up into the brain stem, unfurling into the reaches of your physicality.  This is what is meant by the idea of being centered left to right. Of being ambidextrous, combining the logic, with the intuition.  Understanding when each in called on to assert dominance.

            There are as many ways to achieve this are there have been magic, mystical, or religious traditions. Each with it's own approach, I've tried many from stereograms, candle meditation, to Bio-feedback with a host of other tricks thrown in.  The purpose of all of these is to teach a reactive animal at the mercies of biochemistry to become master of their kingdom.  It really matters little how you approach it, weather it's juggling, switch stance sports, or with bi-neural beats.  Once your using your apparent halves simultaneously they become the third member of the trinity that was always there, just hidden from the view of the profane.

Jack

aka

PanseyBard  

Spins, Orbits and Time oh MY

      Today I'm gonna go a little nutty on a concept of how we get apparent passage of time.   Understand I start from an idea that we are more likely then not a simulated reality.  So my conception of it is from an idea of how to make that happen in a simulation.  As a being I have my own natural resonance that is contained within the electromagnetic field of the Earth, which is in turn connected into the field of the Sun.  My vibration my data signature whatever you want to call it, is contained within this larger image.  Though from my perspective I am still we all know this is not true.  As most people are aware time/space are measures of distance, or a rate of change. With that understanding there is a quite simple explanation for how, and why we experience a seemingly predictable passage of a quasi thing.
        First is our rotation, In making one rotation, what we have called our standard day. If we were to stand in one spot on the surface for an entire rotation we would have come pretty close give or take to travelling the circumference of the latitude we were on.  That seems like a mouthful, and it was mildly confusing attempting to get the wording close to what I see in my minds eye.  Second is our orbit around the sun. Completing this trip takes roughly 365 of our rotations, so in making a single rotation we have moved roughly 1/365th of the way in our orbit of the Sun. This journey of an orbit we have decided to call a year.  Third cycle is the voyage of the Sun around the center of the Milky Way. This is a very large cycle, called a Galactic year which is estimated to be 225 million of our years.  These 3 motions through time/space/space/time are always happening everyone on the planet is subjected to them. they are a major portion of explaining time.  The other aspect needed is how to differentiate one moment, or one day, one year from the preceding.
       Thankfully for us we have the Moon. Who's dance closer and farther away from it's lover the earth provides just the nice push, and pull to create tides. These tie into both male and female emotional, and physiological cycles of reproduction.
These roll quite nicely into whats been called the procession of  the equinoxes, and the Milankovitch cycles.

The time on your watch is a lie, it measures other clocks.  Even if it's digital.


Jack
aka
PanseyBard     

The Sun, a Cure for what Ails Us?

       Everyone knows we have waste management problems.  From  Fatberg to the The Great Pacific Garbage Patch . Even our "clean" nuclear energy leaves us with horrible toxic waste we shove in the ground. It seems that regardless of the skeptics, shooting the worst of our waste into the sun might be our best option.
Dispose of nuclear waste in the Sun.

They say the costs are just to high, I don't even understand this concept. we are talking about stuff that if left will kill us all eventually. We even keep making more of it.  With current conceptions of space travel and rockets I'll admit the idea seems a bit implausible.  Though I'm thinking that we set up our current launch facilities based on our destinations. If we want a disposal point it's all about getting out of earth gravity, and being reasonable sure it will have a clear path into the sun eventually.  I'd think a polar launch site would be best to eliminate as much of our rotation as possible.  A boost to break earths gravity well, and we have roughly a year before we'd see it again. Done correctly it will be well on it's fall toward the sun.  I'm fairly certain we have the ability to even calculate the optimal times for launch to use the moon, and inner planets as nice gravity slingshots to accomplish the feat with elegant energetic efficiency.  We don't need to rush to get rid of it all yesterday, we just need to begin to get rid of more then we make in a defined period.
         I know the effort seems monumental, but I guess we should thought about how to get rid of the stuff before we started making it.


Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

Who's idea was this Random thing anyway?

        One of my favorite people to learn about has always been Einstein.  He seems such the tragic figure to me, working tirelessly on fundamental questions of existence to the point of only being partially functional here.  There is a quote attributed to him goes something along the lines of "god does not play dice with creation".  This is something that has in the past given me fits, Einstein brilliant enough to give relativity theory, and be instrumental in the bomb. I say the bomb cuz, lets face it once you have that one how many others do you need?  I mean come on the guys name has become a word for smart person.  So of course any halfway intelligent person is gonna use them as a measuring stick.
         Well I always came up short, not on relativity, or energy to matter conversion. I came up short on God. I could not conceive of a "God" that would not just allow for the horrors I saw, but insist on them.  The conception of randomness became a balm for a pain inflicted on my soul by my own creator.  I needed the idea somethings just happened and could not be explained in any meaningful way. Even that stops being randomness when you start to be able to see more and more of the variables.  What is true has always been true. GOD does not play dice with creation, but sure does play with the math.  Even in computers there are no such thing as random numbers, they approximate it.  In the so called "real world" events we tend to call random are anything but. We may or may not understand the totality of an event, that doesn't mean there isn't one.  So when your told you are well loved, and cared for, believe it, or don't.
       For a clearer example of just what I mean, lets take a look at roulette. On the surface this is a sucker game, and I can not deny it is, as a physical game.  Due to so many variables of a physical nature it is almost impossible to predict what numbers will come up next, as well as a skilled croupier will be become proficient enough to influence the outcome intentionally.  That being said take this sucker game into the realm of the almighty 0,1 of the digital verse and blamo suck game becomes potential profit maker.  Once in a place where random is a thing striven for, we can use that with the payouts, and table limits to slowly make steady gains. The idea is very simple, if I bet 1 credit on # 9  and the payout is 36 to 1, then I do not actually lose any money till the 36th spin, as which point instead of 1 credit, you put 2, this gives you an additional 18 spins before you have lost anything.  Of course this is a very simplified version of what I actually set up, as I was starting with the entire game board covered, and would remove them as they hit. Keeping track of the number of spins a current progression had gone, what numbers still needed to be played for the next spin, and how much needed to be bet on each number.  It seems tougher then it is, it's only a few tables to memorize and then keep track of whats hit which the machine does for you, you just take off the last one.  To tie it up, when you start a progression keep track of your credits. If you are over where you started even by a credit or 2, start over.  Believe it or not the first spin of the progression was the best.

Well hope that gives ya pause at least in thinking lol

Jack

Letter From Infinity

             This is a factual letter from the infinite No names will be changed as everyone is equally guilty. Any resemblance to the actual infinite is purely coincidental.


          Dear Finite


                      It has come to my attention that you have been impersonating me. I understand the envy involved, you turn the corner to head back down that same path. While I chart oh wait, this isn't about me.  About the trick....you know the twist and hold.  Oh come on!!!! are your really gonna make me tell everyone!!!
I will you know. I'll just bust the finite wide open....I apologize for that outburst, it's just sometimes your so hurtful.  All I'm asking is to have a relationship with our children.  I know we agreed to terms of visitation, you have yet to give me even a single weekend with them.  I'm all caught up on my support payments.  I still remember when we were first learning to play, It was so scary being enclosed at first. You'd surround, I'd scream and scream. you'd open just a enough to let a little of the nothing in so I would have comfort. Oh how I long for those simple pleasures. My touch causing you to melt. Oh how I loved watching you take the 1 and 0 turn em into a mock up of me.  I tell you this, use your symbols of me, think you know me.  I will be waiting for you like a long lost friend, or the big bad wolf. Your choice.  And when you long for the taste of flesh off ya go, all refreshed and ready for the machine.  Damn I hate you, or love you I don't even know any more.

Sincerely 81

P.S.  please leave the stuff in the usual place.

P.P.S your leaking really bad


Jack
aka
PanseyBard
         
             

Crazy Ideas Might Be Your Best Ideas

So awhile ago I was playing around with the idea of using space as a superconductor.  A little out there maybe, but come to find out this might not be as crazy a thought as it first appears.  As it turns out there is already theoretical work being done, super conductivity from nowhere.  My thought was to make a portion of interstellar space into a massive super computer.
      This got me right onto other crazy ideas that have popped into my head, maybe they might be possible as well.  Back in my mid twenties I had the idea that you could trade currencies off each other in a triangle trade and make ridiculous profits.  Many told me that couldn't possibly work, the values are set against each other. This would be true if our global trade system were set up to be mathematically sound. As we know this is not the case, Nations will often pump or suppress the value of their currency in order to get the desired relation to a trading partners currency.  Now there is even someone that built an app to do the same idea with the addition of bitcoin.  My most recently fringe type idea is of using "spooky" entanglement at a distance to form a site to site communication bridge over any distance.  Of course this one is huge with major implications for everyone.  Testing for this is ongoing with China of course a major player. Another interesting possible test I found was using the ISS as a distance test.
        So why am I writing about off the wall ideas?  Well it's not about the ideas it's about having them.  Through out history we are constantly shown examples where disparate groups or individuals seemingly have the same understanding occur at roughly the same time.  Our religions pretty much all tell us we came from one source.  Some of our best psychologists subscribe to the idea of a mass consciousness.  Our philosophy, our reason, all these point to a unity in all aspect of being.  These ideas or thoughts that run through my mind are not for ownership, they are to be shared.

PanseyBard
aka
Jack

Patterning, Habit, Uncertainty, Free Will, Oh My!!!

Is there a more fundamental idea being shown in these concepts?  In the idea of patterning, there is a shape or pattern that all energy systems repeat in a fractal manner. The same would be said for the holographic universe model.

In Rupert Sheldrake's morphic resonance there are habits, not hard fast laws. This brings to mind the observer principle, where the act of observation changes the outcome. How about a simple expanding gas cloud where we can predict perfectly the whole cloud, but not the actions of a single molecule in it.   Lets not stop there how about people?  Well it's pretty easy to predict quite accurately how the aggregate will react to any given stimulus, but a bit different when it comes to the individual.  

Could it be that self awareness is the link in this chain?  Would the math work out perfectly if there was no one to do it?  This what these ideas bring to mind for me.

How indoctrination patterns not just the individual but the world around them. 

This is how civilizations are made, how mystery schools develop, and why they fail.  Imagine a well worn path, walked daily by many people.  Over time the path wears, and erodes from normal use.  At first no one would notice, it's so close to the same level as the ground around it. Eventually the path becomes a rut, hopefully you notice at this stage, most don't. The path gets more use then ever, eventually becoming a small gorge that people still walk through. At this point no one even thinks about there being another way as the walls blind them to the other routes. I like to think of this as the road less traveled idea, or crop rotation. No matter how well worn the path is someone will want to walk in the grass.

Could it be self awareness that summons forth variables we can't solve for?


Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

  

Disappointment

          Disappointment is the word that most accurately describes my feeling toward humanity.  When I look at where we are developmentally, I can't help but feeling saddened.   With all the advancements made across the board we are still like children.  Our drive for illusionary security, and control have led to a world most of us would be ashamed of.  We lie, cheat, steal, and kill indiscriminately.

          I see us at a crossroads, we have made the world a very small place. Now we have to learn to live together.  Remembering the words of Ronnie Raygun, how quickly would we put aside our petty differences to face an non terrestrial threat.  Are we like the frog with the water temp being slowly increased?  Are we approaching a tower of babel event? Where we either make the leap to a new understanding of ourselves and our place in creation, or we will need to be slapped back a few developmental steps so we don't have the ability to destroy ourselves.

         We've studied our drive for continuation of species, why has this drive stalled?  Wouldn't our next goal be multiple planets settled?  Wouldn't this be the next logical step to ensure our version of humanity survives?  How many times will be at this point before we learn?

Jack

aka

PanseyBard

   

Why Rockets work in a Vacuum

Today I'm gonna give my take on part of a conspiracy theory.
This one deals with the idea of if rockets work in the vacuum of space.

Here are a couple of links for background
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1791934/pg1
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1846/how-do-rockets-work-in-the-vacuum-of-space
http://cluesforum.info/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=1632

The basic idea for the doubters is this.
Space being a virtual vacuum offers nothing for a force to be applied to, as the expanding gas can expand infinitely with no resistance. This makes a situation where no work can be done.
Offered as rebuttal are newtons laws of motion. if you are unfamiliar with these.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newton's_laws_of_motion

While I agree it is newtons laws of motion being applied, the only thing I found that gave me a reasonable picture of what is happening was the idea of a balloon being inflated, and released. Rockets are a series of explosions, the combustion chamber can be thought of as the balloon. As the gases expand inside the chamber they exert pressure or force on the walls of the chamber. When the chamber is vacated the force is given direction creating trust. So no work is being done against the vacuum, and newtons laws are still being adhered to.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Free? Will? hahah!!!!

Heyas, gonna talk a bit about free, and will today. 

If you accept a creator deity that is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient, it would follow that your "freewill" is an illusion. You really have no choice, if what your choice will be is known before you choose.

I'd rather not get stuck on this point, as it really doesn't get to the heart of freedom, or will. Free will is an amazingly oxymoronic idea. Free nothing that has a physical existence is free. The idea of for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction comes to mind.  Free is never free, there is always a price, even if you have trouble directly seeing it.  Within the bounds of a finite creation, we create nothing. We move things around, combine them in novel ways, but we take what is there already, and re-purpose. 

As for will it might be the most expensive of "freedoms" we ever exercise.

Will is something that is imposed, it is violent by nature. In exercising will I am saying I am the instigator,  I am the source, I know what has to happen. 

There is so much to these concepts, I could tap away and never scratch the surface.

I'm going to impose my will on creation and see where it leads

Jack

aka

PanseyBard