Love, Life, and Liberty the Lies We Tell

           Those without prior exposure to the insanity I  call a blog, or the drivel that comes rushing out my fingertips when the flow moves me are warned now. What proceeds is a work of the mind, it has little to do with the conceptions of everyday existence most cling to.  I ask no forgiveness, nor do I apologize, I am warning.  This type of thinking is detrimental for some, it sets up questions of mind that can not reasonably be answered while within the experience we call life.  This is a logic play, if you do not understand when to draw your own lines between reality, and fantasy than please just refrain from reading any further.  If you have strong religious convictions likely this will only serve to irritate you, or cause to you question your faith.  If that is so, your the one questioning, not me, so leave me out of it.
           From my perspective, which is all I really have, and is in itself something changing constantly. We, and by we I mean every thing in the universe, creation, whatever you call it, is in a state of delusion.  That the only way we can be having this experience of life, of being real is through clinging to several delusions.  These are in no particular order, they seemingly change order of importance as functions of each other.  That we exist at all, with the energy to matter conversion equation we learned that there is no such thing as what we think of as matter. That energy can not be destroyed or created it can only be transformed.  This sets up an interesting dilemma, as there can only be energy, and energy needs a transmission medium, which according to this can not exist, other than as a conditional state of the energy itself.  The concept of our lack of reality has been expressed many times in many ways. From the dream within a dream idea, or the matrix, this conception our own non existence is expressed.  The second delusion is that we exist as individuals. There is no place where anything stops, and anything starts. What we think of as our seemingly solid bodies with continuity are in reality a constantly shifting mass of energy, much like a storm appears to us. The third delusion is we are the center of all things. This one even for those that have been able to accept the ideas of the first two often reject.  My own sense of I, finds this fact to be most humorous, and exactly as it should be.  That we perceive as if we were the center of all things is not really up for debate. Our sense of self stems for the idea we are a body, that we look out from our eyes. That our senses interpret what for us is reality. This is such an amazing state of being, it can not be celebrated enough. That you are the one sitting at the center of creation, even if it's only from your perspective such a cool trick of relativity it becomes overlooked. As if it couldn't possibly any other way, this isn't so, as nde, obe, remote viewing, channeling and the like lead to the conception your point of perception is not permanently attached to what we think of as our physical body.
          An oddity in the ideas of reincarnation, through ego attachment we seem to get many people who due to feeling powerless now project themselves forward, and backward through time to be powerful people somewhere, or sometime else.  It is seemingly rare for people to consider that if there is a linear progression of reincarnation, where have new people come from?  As well as how few consider the idea they might have been Hitler, Stalin, Nero, these figures from history that are viewed as evil, or corrupt, or just plain insane.  The flip to this is those who end up in the messianic complex, they rarely actually consider the price those who represented this energy, or personality complex had to pay.  If as our latest equations point to, and spiritual traditions predating recorded history state, that this is eternal, that we always are.  Well eternity is just that, we would have nothing to do, no place to go, other than in relative senses, and we have forever to get there. I am now all I will ever be, even if it's from your perspective not in evidence.
        If someone has a world view that completely accounts for, and encompasses yours, plus adds in others in a larger framework. While theirs is not necessarily accurate, it is likely more accurate than yours. An hour, day, or year are not measurements of time, they are measures of movement, a measurement of rate of motion, or rate of change.  No one on the planet has ever been in the same place twice, even in their own room, or bed. Change the rate of motion, and change the experience of time. I am not me, never was never will be, I am merely reflections of all things I have encountered, The existence of what is seemingly other, is what helps define what I am.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard     

Self Styled Slacker

         I am a slacker, what does that mean?  

slack·er

ˈslakər/

noun

informal

1. a person who avoids work or effort.

   synonyms:

   layabout, idler, shirker, malingerer, sluggard, laggard; More

   • US

     a person who evades military service.
   • NORTH AMERICAN

     a young person (especially in the 1990s) of a subculture characterized by apathy and aimlessness

   
   

I avoid anything I think of as work, or anything I view as being wholly stupid.  Not to say I am not productive, or that I never act in a manor that can be rightly called stupid.  I wasn't always a slacker, and to be fair, I have adopted the term as it's easier to cultivate that view in people than being honest.  In many ways the self adoption of the term is not unlike any other person taking a slight, and using it.  That does not mean I am unable to use that trick of detachment, and see how from others perspectives I do exactly that.  

      From my own view, work is not required, work is something people feel they have to do out of a sense of obligation.  What that obligation is up for debate, it is slightly different for everyone.  Generally coming from lessons taught in childhood, either intentionally or through osmosis, just absorbing what everyone around them says, and does in relation to "money".  That is what it pretty much always comes to, the majority work because they feel it's the only way to get money, and they feel they need money in order to survive.  Some have gotten to a point where the idea of what survival looks like, might be extravagant. That isn't overly important, it's the idea of have to work to survive.  I've never felt that way, and though the hows have changed, the intent has remained fairly constant for about 30 years now.  I'm not even saying I haven't been employed, the what is less important as the how I feel about the what. I mean I had a job at gas station for 5 or so years, it was an exchange, I didn't feel like it was work, with the only time I felt taken advantage of was when being asked to fix a computer as a cashier.  Let me explain this a bit, I covered fri, sat, sun, from 1pm, till midnight, on my own from 5pm on, was allowed to sit and read. My friends would hang out, even had this beautiful woman that would come have dinner sometimes.  It was for me a nice break, and forced me to stay social in the physical world. On my time I was playing Everquest 50+ hours a week, so being in a high profile position where I was forced to interact with people was needed.

      There is seemingly an expected life path, birth, school, job, spouse, kids, death.  Well I do not remember getting the choice of being born, and if I had a say you'd have to question my sanity from the get go. For the first x odd years they tell you, your job is to learn, than they proceed to cram you full of garbage that has very little to do with learning, and an awful lot with Pavlovian conditioning. While I love learning, everyone, and thing teaches me all the time, I do not yet remember a day I didn't learn something.  School as it turns out, was not really about learning, oh sure there are some foundational aspects, the reading, writing, arithmetic. Along with some introduction to higher concepts.  For the most part my experience of school was about the next school, or job you were going to get. When I stopped going, end of junior year, it was there wasn't much left to learn there, and the piece of paper did not mean anyone had learned a thing.  The fact that people were getting degrees essentially handed to them based on who their parents were, or how skilled an athlete they were.  Made the piece of paper meaningless to me, as well as setting up a disdain for those who put faith in them. This doesn't even account for the ideas of diminishing returns being applied, or the shrinking need for a labor pool due to automation. They say that nearly 3/4 of the american population lives paycheck to paycheck, with around 60% being one missed check from the street.  How well is our system working?  In the writings of the founders of America, not the United States, they are different. They wrote about our times right now, not in dates, and prophetic announcements. Nah, they didn't need to go through all that, at the times of their writings they were already being forced to, or had just broken from, an outside agency printing their currency at interest.  They already saw jobs as wage slavery, The idea that future generations would end up homeless due to compounding interest on currency creation in private hands was not, and is not esoteric. Given this perspective the idea of "working" for a "living" loses it's appeal at least in my eyes. 

       For me a flip side to the slacker lifestyle is this, only once you have leisure time do you begin to contemplate.  When your life is about survival, or chasing the next big thing, there is little space for the what if's, the scent of flowers. Often there isn't even room for friends, and family, usually the very ones purportedly being worked so hard to benefit are lost in the daily shuffle, grinding out the next dollar. Or perhaps for some it is the ego identification with a title that gives meaning to their existence. Having lost count long ago of the number of times people have talked to me in the capacity of clerk, and told me I was wasting, or under utilizing my abilities. How can this possibly be? I have no pedigree so to speak, would feel the endorsement as a burden, not a blessing. Strange it feels as if I am becoming, or have been the ultimate con person, convincing everyone I am something, while always being something else.

       Tied into this are the ideas of the rites of passage, ceremonial markings of the transitions through the accepted phases of life. Having not personally finished the school portion, I'm still a kid, with most I encounter recognizing me as such, within the context of western society.  I have done many of the so called mystery traditions indoctrination's, intentionally or just as an outcropping of the exploration.  In the extreme other people have attempted to foist all sorts of labels, or titles onto me, in order to make it ok for them to relate to me as I am.  Having been called everything from cult leader, to guru, asshole, st. germaine, or sanada, a reincarnation of a grey that crashed at roswell, to being told you are as the buddha, or a child of satan. There is an odd thing my slacker life of leisure and contemplation has taught me, at a certain point it doesn't matter what is and isn't true. Even when it comes to ideas of what we may or may not represent as spiritual beings.  That sure you might have genetic predispositions, with the cellular memory, and that is all well and good.  When you get to most abstract connections to all things, it's simply a matter of accepting that all things are connected to all things. Once you are able to see yourself as, than you are.

Jack

aka

PanseyBard

The Wheels on the World Go Round

           When I was born the world was spinning, when I was conceived it was spinning. When every human heart, at least as we think of it, has stopped beating the world will just keep on spinning.  While many have pointed out, the planet we exist upon like parasites, and claim as a birthright, which when you think of it is kinda like claiming rights to the flesh of your parent. A bit sick and twisted I know, that is my point.  The degree to which we have become disconnected from nature is staggering.  We have decided we are the pinnacle of evolution, in many ways our maturation as a species, our ability not to subdue, or destroy. Our ability to adapt, to encompass, and allow space for, where we finally get the point, that often doing nothing, and being observant is the answer.  That in allowing the world around you to guide you to the win/win.
         I live in Sedona Arizona, beautiful tourist area, also new age mecca, that is kinda cool, kinda not.  It for sure is a highly charged place, as much to do with the geology, high iron oxide heightening the effect. Another aspect is this area has traditionally been a ceremonial space, people didn't really live here till recently.  For most of my time in the Verde Valley, I stayed to the edges, not in Sedona itself.  For me I happen to agree with the elders, this place is a place of vision questing, and finding connection with self, and spirit.  For the past three or so years I've been living on one of the oldest inhabited spots in West Sedona, the views from this spot are amazing.  The property has original red rock out buildings, and red rock patio, and grill built in.  The plot I'm on has at it's peak a cistern, it's all sealed up now, but I go up there sometimes just to think.  When I was up there, I started looking at the property as whole, In my mind I started to see with the cistern functional, and being allowed to flow water through the property, guided through alcoves, ya know nicely landscape with plenty of places to relax and like.  In among these spots would be bridges, and water wheels. The water wheels would power the system as well as provide extra. combined with some solar, and thermal this place is an energy provider to the local area.  The property behind this one, which is also part of a larger plot, that was sub divided for use, and has had the lease situation just change, was a sand and gravel place. It's been dug up and filled so many times.  I noticed they had brought in a bunch of shipping containers, and poof, bury them as part of the down slope, use them as the frame work for a little underground bread and breakfast type place, as well as housing some of the power generation systems that would be best shielded.  This would make this spot lovely again, it's been allowed to decay.  This was about 5 min drift in my minds eye while I was watching a hawk or falcon circle, it kinda shifted my own minds eye view, to see it almost like a localized topography map in my mind.
    I'm not saying that is The answer for this property, just one that for me strikes that balance, it remains productive, might even be considered more so, as well as gets a face lift in the direction of it's natural state.
If we slow down we might not have so many accidents, besides where do we think we are going?

Jack
aka
PanseyBard    

How to Kill the Rabbit, and Live to Tell the Tail!

       To be perfectly clear, and up front, what follows for many will seem madness, and that is to be expected. Being raised in a culture that prizes logical order, the structure of binary, of code, and cryptography. The mindscape of symbol, metaphor, trans possessive personal, where you are so vain you do think all the songs are about you. Yet you know for certain, no one knows who you are, nor is there any reason for them to.  If you haven't already been baffled by the psychobabble bullshit I have already slung, than feel free to tag along as I lay out a little of the slaying of my own white rabbit.
       Hindsight as they say is 20/20 a blatant misrepresentation if there ever was for a truism. Evidence supports the closer to the events the recounting of the event is, the more accurate that recounting is.  Hindsight in ones own life is a bit different affair, that odd paradox of observing ones self from multiple perspectives, or camera angles, lending creative license to almost endless reimagining of the events, known to have taken place. As easy as a shift in background, a snappy change of speech, alteration of wardrobe, and voila a story everyone knows, yet no one can say it happened. At least not quite the way it's been written, so when I say all the songs, stories, hymns, condemnations, recriminations, desecrations, are about me. It's not an ego aggrandizement, it's a learned response to being projected on my entire life. To be fair, it's a wonderful game, to be the secret unknown object of all attention, regardless of intent, or purpose, solely due to coming to the acceptance of the interconnectedness of all things as a given. Or at least that sounds good in theory, in practice the experience has been quite different.  I am not religious, dogmatic devotion to any belief for me leaves no room for growth, no chance new. It's a place of stagnation, due to entropy, as the saying goes, once you stop growing you start dying. While it offers continuity, it can lead to being trapped in time. As the dwindling numbers of all the throwback anti progress faith make plain, stagnation is demise. I think of it more as, once you close the circle, it's an egg, and eggs, hatch, or get broken, or rot, but they do not stay eggs. Oddly, the trick, and it is a trick, is dissociative, that ability to completely discount personal identity, to the point where you suck in identity from all around. For children at play, it's just imagination, put that is encouraged to be set aside for more practical pursuits.  All while this world is driven by the imaginations of a seeming select few who are recognized as such, and encouraged, to bring forth their vision for the sake of everyone,  The proverbial, hey kid you wanna be a star?  I remember the first time that happened to me, at least sort of, I was to young to approached directly, so it was relayed through my mother.  We lived in socal, San Diego area, mom asked me if I would be interested in doing commercials, because someone had approached her, but that the choice was mine.  I said no, it sounded alot like work to me, and frankly I was already a slacker, doing what I wanted, not what was expected. By 5th grade, a major turning point for my life, I had played center halfback in state level soccer tournament, plucked out of normal classes, identified as gifted with dyslexia, and add. While being a latch key kid from kindergarten, being raised by single mother. Was there other family, and people around sure, I was not isolated by any means. I was self reliant, I had responsibilities, even when I abused them.  I was for the most part put in charge of myself, or took charge of myself, from as early as I can remember. This of course would set up some nasty confrontations with my mother later in life, though those too are all just part of the story. The fictionalized narrative of identity, used to single me out from the herd of humanity.
       Till about the age of 16 or so, I on a decent enough track for a classic underachiever, I did well in the subjects that interested me, and got by in the ones that didn't. Often it had less to do with subject matter, and more to do with presentation.  I had always been interested in being social, so when I dropped out of school, the jobs I looked for were ones with high levels of social interaction. Mainly retail, quickly in management of course, up to running stores. Often up to nefarious purpose, like working at gfox in the danbury fair mall, getting moved to domestics from the loading dock, a couple of friends and I pretty much ran it, our superior just checking in, and occasionally taking us to count license plates. When we were not given the raise promised, we picked black friday to walk out, they kind of caved, but how could an anchor store in the biggest mall in  New England at least at the time, allow itself to be held hostage by 3, 17 or 18 year old kids.  Of course they broke us up, not fired, just moved us around. For me it was domestics, I told the HR woman, she might as well fire me, that I would not work in domestics. She ignored me, so I spent next few months sneaking out a back door, and playing video games, or whatever, and sneaking back in. It was just how I rolled, no matter how pleasant or nice or smooth talking, or whatever someone might seem. That does not preclude them screwing you over, especially when they flat out tell you they are going to, that does not take a genius to understand. Once in what for me was the perfect spot of the moment, running a new and used video game store, on the edge of a district far from the home office. I hired folks like me, or that were ok with my style, we had code, like "who wants to take out the trash" and yes we took out the trash, and while doing so we took a few hits off a bowl. When we had to do title by title inventories once a month, I made it an event, a party. The store thrived to where Toy's R US invoked a non-competition clause in it's lease to force a location change, leading to my breaking the relationship with the company.  This was not a tough choice at all, for while working there I pretty much stumbled into being a connection for pot, at the time just commercial brick, There was never an intention to do so, I was earning enough so I could plan ahead in my own habits, so they were less of a distraction, no one likes being out of their drug of choice, whatever it might, yoga, prayer, exercise, heroin, all alter body chemistry, changing the physiological state, which alters the perception, and experience, and interaction with the world. This idea can be taken all the way to anything your body is not self producing being in essence a drug, ridiculous in the extreme I know, but who's definitions are these?
        We tend to gravitate toward friends that have proclivities at least in some ways like our own, so of course I had stoner friends. I wouldn't even go to job interviews if I wasn't stoned, I wanted to be sure no one would think anything of me being high at work. Did it so well, the only time anyone said anything was when I wasn't stoned, because that was the odd behavior from their perspective, and for me, stoned was the normal.  When you have some, people will ask for it, and being friends, and it being pot, of course you share, that kind of sharing grows rapidly. Especially if your good at keeping of the numbers. I was full on fronted, a lb to start, at a stupid high price really, but the prices were already so outrageous, I literally undercut em by half. A quarter dropped from 60 to 30, in short order it was tough to even leave the house, and when I wanted to take a vacation, or even go for a weekend, rewarding someone a friend, or housemate was well worth it. At one point, a full client base was just transferred over to me, as the woman was worried about her child being taken if she was arrested. For me the budding pot empire, in a sleepy corner of southern CT, allowed free time, to play, and explore. Having been recently introduced to lsd, and loving the effects, I quickly poured through altered states of consciousness teachings from channeled sources, to Castenada, to Leary, Dass, and the like, on to Kabbalah, tarot, Crowley. I still have some of what for me the most influential texts, but from an intuitive, as well as logical perspective, and they mesh quite nicely. The crazy out of nowhere nature of quantum, intuition, and the logic for why that is exactly how things do function seem a matter of, duh, and like I'm the only one that hasn't figured it out, as seemingly everywhere I turn, the symbols that help shape, mold me are everywhere telling me things.  Things not for me, but for everyone, though few see them as even connected. All the lsd, over the course of about a year and half, lots of days popping a 10 strip to fry in meditation for hours, upon hours. If it made sense to use words to communicate, I felt I did not get far enough from everyday consciousness states,  I didn't just want to know, I had to know. I had judged the world, as being unworthy of my presence, without even understanding that was what I was doing.  I screamed at whatever was there, because I knew there had to be something, and if there wasn't, than it didn't matter anyway.  "IF THIS IS ALL THERE IS TO THIS PLACE THAN I WANT NO PART OF IT". Holy crap, when you do that with neural pathways jammed open due to heavy lsd use, other things notice. When you are sincere in your desire to not be here, death answers, whatever that means for you. All the while, maintaining a committed relationship, being asked to be the father of someone elses child, Playing sitter for the spun out kids that were having bad trips. Providing space for almost anyone that was approached me as a friend, until they showed me otherwise. Than crashing back to earth for on the one side being weary of getting to deep, and the woman I loved at the time insisting if I didn't give up the life we were done.  None of this caused me the distress, that the contradictory programming of entertainment, versus practicality, or security if you will.  Drugs are bad, but how many stars in every field has altered how they see the world.  Education and Institutionalization, merging in my life before my eyes, and me a lover of information, trapped between a need to consume data, while not becoming it.  Take it right to my edge, look back at myself, laugh, and allow myself to fall backwards into the abyss. I was taught at 18, there isn't always someone to catch you, or at least not always the person you expected.  My love for being in the company of women extended to no care for my personal style. Generally dressing for comfort, and event are good enough for me, I did however understand very well, that if I didn't care about what I wore, that didn't mean others wouldn't. Making friends with a few differing fashion style females not a problem in a mall, getting them to pick out clothing they feel you look good in, also not a problem. Than you just pick a style, put on the costume, and allow that woman's style attract other women that share it.  Being adaptable, or having that element of theater in all aspects of life. A life itself becomes a show, being put on by you, for who knows, and at that point you almost have no choice but to choose amusement of self, until your directed otherwise by an authority you recognize, whatever that maybe, there are things that get your body dead faster than it's ability to repair. The limitation is not of body, it is of the individual, and is different for everyone. It could be a mental block, or an emotional imbalance, out of control growth, in the case of cancers, is generally pointing to a out of control growth in another area of life. When you are told your show is now considered illegal, immoral, and just plain wrong. You quit all drugs, go sober for 10 years, have people who see auras tell you your grey, and wait to die. When that is happening, and simultaneously your being told, things like. A detective that investigated a theft from a giant gas station that employed me briefly, "you might be the smartest person I've ever interviewed", or being told by a psychologist who is actively writing text books by request, "you might be the most balanced person I've ever met".  Just a few highlights of the complete contradiction between the perception people have of me that know me, and the rejection of the life I've lived that has allowed me to be me.  So sure, I have not gone screaming from the rooftops look at me, I don't need the aggravation, because regardless of if it's praise, or condemnation, it's yours not mine. I'm fucked up enough on my own to need any help in labeling me crazy.  I have a head full of books, movies, songs, tears, exultations, murder, and mayhem, going across at least 27000 or so years. I only recall a smattering of any portion of it in any given moment, but it comes in a torrent when I allow it to unfold back out in it's own way, and time.  So sure, I have spent much of my life around the edges, it was the space I could find that could accommodate me, I break eggs, sometimes they are thrown at the front doors of a church that has just been painted. Other times it's my own limited conception of existence. I've never thought of myself as smart, everyone else keeps telling me I am, no matter how much protest, yet I pride myself on being able to reason, even through the muck and mire of twisted complex emotional yuck. Does that make me smart, or just insane, does it even matter?
I've finally gotten to the point, I'm good with my life being a condemned, While I love being the person I am, fictional character and all. What it took for me, I would not wish on anyone else, and would do what I could to prevent it needing to be as traumatic.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

If I accept your lies about me will you go away?

In an attempt to share more of me, rather than the concepts I entertain. Today I'm going to cover some common misconceptions I've noticed people have about me.

I am not as nice a person as people seem to think I am. When I've had jobs they have been mostly service type, even when working freelance, it's been tech work, and consulting.  It's not that I am any nicer or any less nice than anyone else.  I'm fulfilling the role you encountered me in, as long as you do not step outside your role in relation to me, everything is hunky dory. Step out of the boundaries laid out by the nature of our encounter, and I will tell you to go fuck yourself.

I do not care about material existence, This one is almost true, though so far off base, as to be laughable. There is no matter for my to be concerned with, things exist multi-dimensionally, and they are physical unto their own realm of expression. kinda how solids interact with solids, or liquids interact with liquids. With all of it subject to relative motions, and energy/matter conversion.

My use of the appellation PanseyBard is some how indicative of sexual orientation. This was an e-mail I registered to use with a character created in Everquest.  The characters name was/is, Nuviel, picked from the words novus, and el. A mixing of languages, meaning new god. That character was a 5 year span of playing 40+ hours a week. It became a consuming addiction to being somewhere other than I found my physical being. That character became one of the top Bards in the game, spending much of it's time on a server called legends, a special ruleset server, for those who wanted more out of the game.  I am a heterosexual male, even when I imagine myself in a sexual encounter with a male, it is an odd feeling of not being true to self.

That social media is important to me.  This one cracks me up, From my perspective most social media has become marketing tools.  I am not fond of marketing, as I feel good ideas have no need to be sold.  Before I ever began to use social media, I had a plan, and understood it as tool in that plan, not the ends in itself.  Twitter is a prime example, I have 4 accounts, not that I wanted 4 accounts, was happy with one. Only I was growing the account faster than twitter identifies as the norm, When an account was suspended for playing the f4f game the twitter promo groups have going. I made another in order to figure out what I was doing wrong and right given the venue, and goals I had in mind.  When I got the 3rd account suspended in under 3 hours for getting to many followers to quickly, or what they call aggressive following tactics I started to get a handle on the automatic systems in twitter. What the groups were about, and why I seemingly did not fit in.  I backed almost completely off social media for a few years, Mostly due to being shoved out, seemingly due to not being willing to click the buttons for cash. Again, I never cared about twitter, it was about exposure.

A small group was reading my blog regularly, and felt many of the ideas had merit, so I was looking to reach out an allow others into my madness.

The 4th account was for play, and fun solely, as it's pretty much only for pornstars, cam girls, strippers, ya know, the bad girls we all wish would take us home, or come home with us, even if it's only for the night or weekend.  

That I am an arrogant know it all bastard!  ok that one is often true. It is something I work on daily to be as accepting of my own foibles as I am of others. Oddly it's that I do not feel I know anything, and am open to any spirit that has the answer showing it to me, or speaking through me to deliver it that sets up this oddity.

That I wish to be a star, I am already a rock star, always have been. Do not look for me in your deck of cards, I am not now, nor have I ever been in there. Unless your seeing me in every card. Wanna go quantum? how about for a magic ride into the nethersphere, or the spaces between spaces. I can be that lens for you to find your connection. I am not it, only the clear lens that allows you to see you.

I do not love you

I do not hate you

I do not know you

I was told my whole life the choices I made were bad, or wrong, and it took me till now, to finally get back to the self I lost in the love of women, and the programmed ideas of family, and personal development.  What I am left with for the masses, is a big fuck you. If you do not like my words do not read them. If you find me offensive at times, that is likely the response I was going for.

Yes I am so whacked out, I often program people real time, think you have freewill, come for a visit, and I will show you the error of your perception. Think the world is flat, or solid, or round, or God is this or that, those are labels, made by, and for humans.

Who am I, What am I?,

How about Where am I, When am I

I am what I desire to be, the identity labels foisted upon are not me.

Think a free person can be a citizen?

Free people owe no allegiance to anyone other than self.

Citizens owe allegiance to the state they are citizens of.

You do the math

PanseyBard.... Pan say, Bard get it?

aka Jack

be the Lorax, and can someone please find that statue, and take it back where it belongs 

Can I Borrow a Ray of Sunshine?

               Holidays For Sale Sentiment Half Off!

In case you haven't figured it out, this will be about emotional transference.  A fancy way of saying emotions about one thing or person, put on another thing or person.  This happens so often, and usually without our being aware we have done it.  Sometimes it's a natural response to repeated experience. Like when a dog beaten by a person in uniform starts barking whenever a person in uniform is around.  This is the same process at play in learning fire burns, you transfer that

experience onto another experience, and avoid the pain.  So far so good, but when you start to proactively use that understanding you get some very creative, if morally questionable results. 

What does this have to do with holidays you might ask?  Well so far I've talked about examples of negative transference, but what about positive.  That is where the holidays come in, when you see a brand use a holiday on the packaging, advertising, and marketing campaigns they are banking on at least some of those pleasant feelings you have will slide on over to them.  Taken to the extreme and you get the diamond market, this might be the most classic marketing example, and one of my personal favorites.  I say favorite with all sarcasm, but the it is amazing, that people were able to take an artificially scarce stone.  Then so completely attach it's value to symbolic for the love between a man and woman.  On top of that, make it a virtually mandatory expense as a part of the marriage rites.  Even people that have read, and already know the scam will turn around a few minutes later, and fall right back under the spell.  

                    Is that Love or Emotional Hijacking?

On a much more intimate and personal level, this same idea started to be taught, with various titles from art of seduction, to the pick up artist.  To be clear, from my perspective there is no way to morally use this kinda of information in this way.  The reason I feel this is simple, it is the same process that happens naturally and honestly when people develop a love relationship. So when someone understands how these work, they no longer work, and if they do work than your being deceptive.

      When two people meet, and the attraction is honest and genuine there is the natural desire to learn everything you can about the other person.  Usually at least early on, the other person is more interesting than we are ourselves.  This real desire to put another before self sets up automatic transference.  When the other person is so rapt in attention to your thoughts, and emotions, it's very easy to see your own feelings reflected back.  This back and forth is the investment of your own emotions into the other, it's the trick of love, that isn't a trick at all till we make it one.

       That is the problem I have in teaching this information as a means of what amounts to conquest. It turns what was one of the most wondrous experiences people can share, and turns it into sales, and

marketing of the most insidious fashion.  When people are taught to use psychological tricks on each other real time, we are on shaky ground.  I am going to single out males because this is primarily being taught to males, with reasons that might be as twisted and messed up as the teaching of it. So if a male with this understanding puts into practice it's not about love, it's about sex.  It is not about the individual woman it is being used on, point of fact it is going to become a numbers game.  So our guy understanding transference, basicly trolls the room, picking out as many possible females to start working.  When a likely prey reveals itself, it's time to move in, separate them from the herd, this is an important step, much easier to work past the defenses of one person, than a group of people.  Once in isolation, the man in question does everything possible to say nothing. The fewer words our fellow says the more likely he is to accomplish his goal.  As I said this is a numbers game, and by the numbers women are far more forgiving as to physical traits than men. Generally it's not the looks of a man that decides if a he is an acceptable mate.  So for our guy, he is not as much working to get her to desire him, as he is trying to not do something stupid to eliminate himself.  This is not as tough as it might seem, being attentive is the foundation.  All it takes is get her to talk about her passions, and lets face it we all like to talk about the things we love.  At this point it's done, the feelings, and passions will be transferred onto our Guy, and all he needs to do is not break the spell.  That is my problem with it, our guy is being taught to be dishonest in order to fulfil natural physical drives we all share. There are no winners in this approach.

            To Worship False Idols

There is much trepidation in the writing and posting of this section, with a great temptation to just leave it off.  Even most that have been right with me so far will recoil from what I am about to write as having already lambasted love, I'm about to slap religion around a bit as well.  Before I do so, I want to again state, this not intended as an offence or attack on anyone or organization.  There are wonders, and horrors to be found in everything.  If for whatever reason you find these ideas over the line, stop reading, label me crazy, and go on with your life.  I won't be offended, or hurt, and neither will you.

    At their core all our religious, and societal structures have through out history strove to do one thing. Unite and focus the energy of a group of people, that are by nature individualistic and resistant to homogenization.  Think of the idea of trying to herd cats, or how wilful toddlers can be, and you have the concept I'm going for.  To accomplish this, they use the idea of dedication to something larger than self.  Secular or Faith based does not matter the outcome is a ideology, with all the trappings positive and negative. So we can have secular saints, zealots of atheism, and holy wars. These are all done the same way, a process almost of deification that is seemingly well understood, and has been for countless ages.  If you haven't figured it out already, I'm talking about how worship

works, how we interact with divinity.  In crafting our ceremonies, rituals, rallies, what have you, there is purpose. The purpose is always the same, to guide the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, to an end.  No matter the end, for good or ill, the dynamics involved are the same, predictable, and exploitable.  Just take a look at the people who have changed the world, they understood theater very well.  Even a historic figure as reviled as  Hitler is known to have trained in oratory skills, his rallies finely tuned works of theater to weave an emotional trance state in the attendees.  A group hypnosis, where the voice of the rational mind is drowned out by the emotional attachments being manipulated.
I know we all like to think we are strong willed individuals that would never get swept up by the sentiments of the crowd.  The truth is the desire to give up our self into the care of something larger than yourself is seemingly fundamental to our make up.  We want to believe, and often so badly we fool ourselves, or make excuses.  Even religion, it has nothing to do with God, it is the exploitation of our own fear of mortality.  If there is a religion that is actually focused on God, and not on man I have yet to become aware of it.  Being human centric they concern themselves with how divinity can assist humans, or what the plan of divinity is for humanity.  They exploit some fairly basic psychological truths, not a one of us can ever live up to our own vision of perfection. So we will always see ourselves as horribly flawed, even when our external response is to project perfection. That the unknown is both exciting and terrifying, something we always want to glimpse, but not get any on us.  The trifecta for religion is an comforting partial truth or outright lie on the fate of those we have lost.  You ever stop to wonder how odd it is to have an intermediary to the ineffable, the unknowable.


in closing there is love enough for everyone, more than we can bear, and if the sun ever stops shining it's love upon us, by the time we realize it, we will already be dead.

as always make up your mind.
Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

   

What IF!!!!!

Please Do Not Read This Post If:

     There has been an idea rolling around in my mind. A different perspective on a story almost everyone on the planet has heard.  The story of the fruit of the tree of knowledge, the story of the expulsion from paradise.  That is why if you believe there are lines that there are appropriate boundaries for though experimentation.  Or that words, or ideas should stay within the bounds of good taste, and parsed for political correctness.  Go read something else, the fundamental conception of the Eden story will be toyed with, poked and prodded.  If that is something you would have a problem with, than it is your responsibility to stop reading now, or keeping reading, and don't forget to pray for my salvation. If your religious you might believe I need it.

The Who, What, Where:

      In the traditional conceptions of this story, our characters are easily definable, and laid out clearly.  God, the Serpent, and Adam and Eve.  Eve, and Adam are put forth not as us, but as the parents of Humanity.  We have in the main equated this with them being as we are.  That is not likely the case, these are pre-expulsion, pre fruit of knowledge humans.  A version of humanity that is able to walk in the presence of it's creator.  So while they might the most like us of the characters in the story, it is likely a mistake to equate them to us.  These are beings that exist in a state of pristine grace.

     The Serpent is of course put forth as the deceiver, the corruptor, or villain.   In our story, as it has been presented, The Serpent lies to Eve.  Seemingly in opposition to the wishes of God, Serpent tells Eve, you most assuredly not die, but become like God.  This is a rather odd predicament, it presents so questions not easily resolved.  Questions such as, God is presented as an omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient being.  So how would Serpent, a creation of God, act in ways contrary to the wishes of God, as well as it being without God knowing.

    God of course is put forth as the all powerful, loving, creator of all things.  Who is a seemingly irresponsible deity if looked at from a rational perspective.  In our story, God makes all things, at some point making the Garden as a habit for the creation of Adam, and subsequently Eve.  While giving the tour of the habitat, God lays out the ground rules.  Basicly saying anything goes, but don't eat the fruit from the of the knowledge of good and evil.  Making the opposing statement to the serpent, that for they would surely die.  A prime example of irresponsible parenting. This would be akin to making a baby room, and putting a poison plant in it.  Combined with the reverse psychology setting a self reinforcing compulsion to eat the fruit.  So can we really say God did not intend for the fruit to be eaten?

    Eden is the setting of most our story, a paradise created for Adam, and Eve.  With most linking it directly to a location on earth, a sort of preserve, outside of which is referred to as wilderness.  Interestingly it does point to an idea there is not only other places, but other beings already inhabiting those places.  With that idea, Eden might just as well be considered a habit carved out of a larger environment.  Not unlike man altering an environment to be more conducive to the task at hand. Looked at from another perspective, Eden could be seen as the womb of humanity, the thing with a womb is, once in your expulsion is a forgone conclusion.

    The Fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Blech that is for sure a mouthful.  Many places have questioned if it was the widely accepted apple or pomegranate, or whatever. What the physical representation of the fruit is matters little.  What is important is the idea that eating it, causes a change to the nature of a being.  In our story this is put forward as an event, Eve eats the fruit, convinces Adam to do the same, expulsion ensues, and here we are.  The idea being that the fruit was eaten, and the event is over.  Is that accurate?  When we eat just our normal sustenance that is just the beginning. The majority of the story of consumption takes place after the physical act, it's in the processing of.  Might that be the case with our fruit?

What if They are Both Telling the Truth:

      Growing up with Star Wars, there is a line delivered by Ben, in defence of his using perspective, and tricks of language to not lie, but also not admit inconvenient facts.  Ben tells Luke, "your going to find that many of the truths we cling to, rely greatly on our point of view".  Might our Eden story, and it's related lies be hiding a similar lesson?   So in a much abridged, with great creative license.

     Adam, and Eve, have not comprehension of good or evil, actions are actions, experienced in the moment with no attachment, or even understanding.  They are also not as God, but in a state of grace in communion with God.  The connection to their source is always present, so death as we conceptualize it,  pain and pleasure have no meaning. Even if we accept there is physical existence as we would recognize it.  Adam and Eve pre fruit would not have the capacity of ego yet, that sense of I, we use to differentiate what we think of as self from the whole.   So God in saying you will surely die is telling the truth. Pre fruit there is no experience of loss, post fruit, the sense of I creates the sense of mine, loss, and death ensue.  So God in the story is telling truth, as evidenced by us everyday.  So how can Serpent also be truthful?  Perspective, is the short answer.  Serpent says we for sure will not die, and more over we will become like God.  In the story we are told we are created in the image and likeness of God, so the reality is, the only aspect missing is the famous delphic statement of "know thyself".  Adam, and Even in the Garden are already in every respect as God, they are only lacking the knowledge of what they are.  So the change that takes place when Serpent tricks Eve, is not a material change, but one of understanding, and knowledge.  That change is not one of a singular event completed when the last bite of the fruit.  Taking that first bite, set in motion a process of self discovery, that is ongoing.  The expulsion from Eden is not one of punishment, or even a violation of rules.  It is as natural a consequence as we find the development of a fetus in the womb, leading to the birth of a child.  Once the process of gathering the knowledge through experience of good and evil. Eden became a non viable habitat, as Adam, and Eve had become other that what it was created for.  As a parting, thought ideas of a return to Eden being through child like innocence, become more akin to going back to a state before the eating of the fruit.  Though a more likely outcome for this story is a moving through the process, and becoming as we were in the beginning with full knowledge of what we are in the present.

as always make up your own damn mind

Jack

aka

PanseyBard 

Creating Space, Creating Maya

          As said many times, quite famously in the Matrix, "there is something wrong with the world, what it is you can not say".  So many of us feel it, looking out at the world at large it seems obvious that something is just not quite right. Well buckle up put on your tin foil hats do not suspend your disbelief, take what follows with a grain of salt. When that natural desire to reject the very possibility that any of this may be true, follow it, you'll sleep better I promise.  There has been, and is now a systematic organizing structure. The prize no less than the mass consciousness of humanity, dominance of virtually every aspect of the macro interactions.  This might a good time to listen to that little voice that says I'm crazy.  This is not new information, many others have exposed portions of the mechanisms as they understand them.  There are as many ways to see this web of half truth as there are people experiencing it.  I am not even certain all the obvious deception are not for humanities ultimate benefit.  This is just a commentary on information, and possible ramifications.
         Creation is a symphony, or said another way in the beginning there was the word.  All is frequency, cycles of change, pulsations of energy, the creation and equalization of pressure. So there is a complex harmony of creation we are a part of. I care not what you call it, intelligent design, cosmic accident, that the ebbs and flows are in patterns is in little doubt from even the most hardened skeptic.  So what does this have to do with a hijacking of consciousness?  The same energetic frequency harmonics that are at play in humanity have their resonances present in the greater harmonic structure of creation.  In our natural state we can feel our connection to the greater creation, we are in harmony with our environment.  We have been shifted slightly in subtle and not so subtle ways. This evident from our calendars, music, food, social structures, the manipulation is as varied as as can be imagined.
       The Calendar, some have called this the original mechanical mind control. How accurate this statement is obviously debatable. It is tough to argue how fundamental our experience of the flow of time from one day to the next is to being in or out of rhythm with creation.  This is not a new idea. Now I'm not advocating we ditch the idea of a calendar, just how about we use one that is an accurate reflection of our relation to the greater cycles.  Many will say so what it's just a way to plan future events like a watch. If this is your feelings I'm surprised you've gotten this far. Being out of step, or tune on such a foundational level disconnects us from physicality. We lose sensation our connection to each other, nature, and creation at large becomes fuzzy.
      The Music , few would argue the amazing power of music. It's wondrous ability to engender emotion, trigger memory, shape matter. It's little surprise given the primacy of sound in pretty much every spiritual tradition.  So is there a magic frequency we are tuned to? Of course there is, it's widely known, has been used for as long as we can find music, A=432. So far so good, only the modern western tuning is A=440, just close enough to have desired effects, and just far enough away to force us out of tune with creation.  So where did 440 tuning come from? Would you be surprised to learn it may have been nazi germany?  There is a massive amount of information on the relation of music to the structure of creation, a little research is amazing.
        With only these two examples we created the space, or separation needed to allow for the hijacking of the consciousness of humanity.  If as so many of our ancient teachings tell us, what we experience here is illusion, or maya a shadowy reflection of reality, the space created by just these two shifts are all the cracks needed to add a new layer of maya.  For those of you with a more elastic view of reality, this would amount to pushing our world into a sub pocket dimension. We would literally no longer be able to interact with aspects of creation.  Signals once clear guides become fuzzy and distant as we move out of vibrational relation to them. I could go on and on about differing aspects of how this control structure is created and maintained, but I will wrap this posting up with a how it's kept in place. The five monkeys experiment , never forget we are talking about macro level controls. Using our own tendency to group and follow the dictates of the group without thinking. The mob mentality at it's finest.

As always, do not trust this, find out for yourself and come to your own conclusions.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard  

Inside out, Upside Down

            So much has been said lately about the rise of materialism recently any search will give plenty of background information, there is far more there then I have any desire to remember.  That being said for me this question boils down the seat of the consciousness, that spark that makes us, well us. The traditional western scientific view has been of consciousness arising with the matter, as the matter has recombined in new more complex structures, so to has the expression of consciousness. Relatively new research has led to questions on how valid a model this is.
           I as anyone who has ever give thought toward the ideas have my view.  I am quite uncertain we have our own consciousness at all, even though I see the perception that we do essential the experience we are sharing.  I have come to call it the subjective collective/objective approximation.  That through taking all the subjective perception of an event or idea you get a the trick of an objective idea, or event.  This planet is conscious in and of itself, we are manifestations of this consciousness,  each playing it's part in the feedback loop, a vast infinitely scaleable fractal information system.  We are literally full fractal representations of the whole shaped by the very nature of space/time/energy.
          This leads to a wonderful platform for experience, with the ability to experience discovery, and relative firsts infinitely. While it also opens it up to being hijacked so to speak. This is evident in ideas like manufactured consent, propaganda, advertising, and indoctrination. All these forms of mass mind manipulation have creative impact using the built in feedback loop.  Setting up mutually reinforcing mental constructs that act almost like a virus, invading any healthy host simply through sympathetic resonance.

as always these are just my ponderings, use your own powers of perception.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Who or What do You Think You Are?

            I guess this is one of the questions almost everyone has or will ask themselves at some point.  What I find most entertaining is while who might at first glance be tough question, our understanding of the nature of reality may have made what the more confusing.  That being said many will never get past who, so I'll start with my take on who we are in general sense, before I attempt a prod at the what.

         Who am I, might seem pretty easy, I mean I have an identity I use on a daily basis for others to refer to.  So I have a name I was given at physical birth, and to one degree or another I identify with this name. In my case I refused to even answer to my given name till middle school.  With a name like Jack can you blame me?   Some of you might be wondering whats wrong with the name Jack?  It isn't that there is something wrong with it, but when you start to look a bit deeper in the meanings and effects of names on the psyche, and even down the physical your perception of it might alter.  At this point I'd like to direct you to the work of Dr Masaru Emoto. Is it really such a leap to apply that to your name and the water of your body.  Everyday people call you by a name, this name carries with it an form.  The form, or energy carried by your name patterns you without your even knowing it.  Every name has entangled in it the history of that named being used over and over.  Things like the numerology of a name takes on new meaning the numbers telling a story of the energy contained, and the overall effect a particular name carries.  In the case of my given first name it would be something like this,  10 1 3 11, in the most widely used western numerology this would be added as individual numbers to come with an overall energy of the name. Looking something like this 1+0+1+3+1+1=7, so the over arching energy would 7.  This of course is just one aspect, another is ideas presented by Synchromysticism.  Applied to names, and assuming the interaction of the energies present and Jack becomes an identity that perhaps some would find tough to assume. All of this also relies on a thread to be woven through history, a running narrative extending back into antiquity, and forward off into infinity. Some would argue that there is no linkage that can be identified that warrants these ideas be anymore then speculation.  I say we are link, we write the stories, we become the tapestry linking them all.  How does this all add up to who I think I am?  Well to put it simply, I am a work of fiction.  As one of my favorite t-shirts states "fictional character".  I'm not sure a more true representation of our condition can be found, I have a running narrative, containing the character I am currently playing.  My conception of self is less important to you, then your concept of me.  So I don't even have a set identity, who am I changes as the way those around me perceive me changes.  Even my sense of self identity relies on the culture I find myself in, just try to describe who you are without using other people, things, or events.  As strange as our sense of identity might be, it pales when compared with what we are.
          What we are becomes so much a matter of perception, and the deeper you look the stranger we seem. Most medical doctors will say we are mostly water, while most physicists will say your mostly empty space.  Both are correct when looked at from their respective perspectives.  When you keep going down the rabbit hole into the realm of quantum the fun really begins. Suddenly the fact we are as paradoxical as the idea of particle or wave becomes so self evident as to defy what most consider rational explanation. As it turns out we are an illusion, a trick of the senses, think seeing is believing.  we appear solid, though we know there is nothing solid we can find. Even our perceptions are as easy to change as clicking the remote to switch channels.  Our senses so easily fooled, yet trusted implicitly. When was the last time you stopped to consider how your senses function, how what you perceive isn't exactly a lie, though it's only accurate from a human perspective. When was the last time you thought about how your "senses" function, or even questioned the limits we are given on the senses. How many senses do you even have? this might seems silly but this video from the Animaniacs points out the limit of 5 senses isn't even accurate.  The view we are a classical system made up of quantum components may be one of the most accurate I've seen to date, it may even hold the clue to the interface between mind, body, spirit through entanglement.  So what am I? Does it even matter?  I and no one else can answer these questions for you, all anyone can do is give the answers that work for them.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Are You Already Obsolete?

       Yet another crazy question?

       Are you sure it's so crazy?
I'd guesstimate 60% or more of the current jobs could be replaced by automation or machine intelligence with current technology.  In the US wages have remained stagnant since the 80's. If you based it on productivity the numbers say minimum wage would be around $20 an hour.  On the surface this seems to be a travesty, is it possible this wage freeze has partially been a bulwark slowing the adoption of automated production methods.  We have a saying "the bottom line" and for most of the worlds corporations profit motive drives all decisions. When or if a machine can do your job for less cost then your currently doing it for, you will be replaced by that machine.  What I see in the world right now is that most service and retail positions could be done by machine. I'll use as an example a fast food joint.  If you walk into your local fast food burger place regardless of the name you see the same thing. Anywhere from 2 to 12 people in various states of activity.  Now these jobs are not what are considered high skill positions, new employees are generally expected to undergo only a few days of training. I don't see it as much of a leap that a smart system could be deployed that would not just take your orders, and make your food.  This smart system would track inventory, submit orders, monitor not just the premises for maintenance but also traffic patterns, as well as other data to increase productivity, and decrease waste. Combined with the emergence of augmented reality technology, you would even be able to see and talk to a very human seeming staff.  Think this is still sci-fi, perhaps this video will start your imagination firing.

     We already see check out stands with no cashiers, again I say as people demand higher wages they are hastening their replacement by machine.  The costs processing power continues to decrease and costs of human workers rise a conjunction is reached then a machine system will be put into place. The first companies to do so will see an advantage, but as adoption becomes the norm we are likely to see the use of a human work force used as a marketing tool.
    Many will take this a threat to civilization, oddly enough it is precisely the opposite effect. As a world civilization we are at a nexus point of development.  By our own scale we are a class 0, we have everything we need other then will to become a class 1.  Class 1 civilizations have reached an equilibrium with their environment, achieving control and understanding of planetary systems as to allow continuation of species till the natural death of the planet. Thing is there is a window of opportunity think of it like reaching the top of an octave. There is that momentary pause of completion before a choice to continue into a new higher octave, or descend back down the octave just traversed.

The choice is ours. the time is now

Jack
aka
PanseyBard   

Who Do You Think You Are?

          Self, Identity, who am I.  This some would say is the fundamental question people are likely to ask themselves at some point. Personally I'm not certain that an individual we have a self.  Don't get twisted, I'm not saying that left on their own people cease to exist, though that is the effect.  Let me explain a bit of how I see this, our definitions of self depend on the people, and environment to an extent most "humans" would be uncomfortable contemplating. I've variously tried to explain this as the fish don't see the water. There is no place where any one thing starts, and any other thing stops. Drifting over to Jung's idea of collective unconscious, or the 100th monkey theory.  These are all ideas pointing to fact that we can not have existence in absence of all we find around us.  This extends even to our very concepts of identity.
         I don't care what you believe, every structure I've found, all lead to a fundamental unity, be it science, magic, religion, psychology, physics.  For a moment put yourself, physical body with all it's demands, and take them outside what we think of as space/time.  The forces needed to even form basic types of matter will not exist, So let us assume that some form of what we think of as self awareness can exist outside what we think of as time/space.  What would you be like as that being?  If you have individualized awareness what would your focus be?  Our very connection to matter tricks our mind into making judgments however sound, that may not be quite accurate. While it may be perfectly reasonable to not attempt to walk through walls, we have learned that their solid nature is only in relation to our solid nature.  So how far can we take this idea that our sense of identity itself is not our own?  I don't see an ending to chain, starting with the fundamental forces of what we call existence. Right on down to the person that told you could or couldn't do something, that hinder, or inspired.
        In almost every culture there are stories of feral people, raised by wolves, or Tarzan raised by apes.  These stories  remind us how fragile our veneer of civility really is, while showing us our social nature isn't all that different from social groupings of what we think of as animals.  Even these animals man has worked so hard to differentiate itself from are quite closely related to us in a cosmic sense. The forces that have shaped their development are the same as those that shape us.  A minor shift can create seemingly major changes, but how large are these shifts really?  Well they all take place within the realm of being human, so they can't be that major.  Most happen between birth and death, and I must say in cosmic terms a human lifetime is a very small sample indeed.  Even as you struggle to figure out who and what you are, everyone, and everything around you is molding and shaping you to be what it needs you to be.  Even these identities only have meaning within the proper context.  Would an accountant ever come into being before there is something to count, or a concept of tracking?  Does a farmer exist before the idea of cultivation?
     My concept of self is meaningless without the back drop of the history, and culture I have grown up in.
as always take this with a grain of salt.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Ramble On

         Today lets talk eternal, what that actually means.  First off I defer to great thinkers through out time both religious and secular.  So many have reported some sort of continuation beyond what we think of as physical death.  If we are talking a purely energetic transfer, where what we think of as us ceases when our body stops functioning we can end the thoughts right now.  If on the other hand there is a bit more of us that continues on this journey of existence other questions spring forth.  How about even the Idea that energy can not be created or destroyed it can only be transformed.  Taken to an extreme that would mean all things that exist now, have in some form or another always existed, and will always exist.  That there can be no beginning or ending, there would be only transition, one state or phase endlessly shifting to another.  There are so many questions of the why's and how's.
       I want to think a bit about what it means from an individualized portion of self. Not a being that identifies with a single name, but one that has been so many names and is in all likely hood experiencing all these names now.  To a being like this what a gift it must be to have firsts, or a conception of an end.  To forget if only in delusion the infinite self.  What a gift the finite, the present would be to an entity with this conception of self.  Hold in mind this concept, of a self that has ultimately been every name. Now lets twist things around a bit.  From this side we have taken natural time and using computers increased the effective time people live.
I could go into clock cycles, and try to get into ideas of changing the fundamental flow of time. How the pure access to information, and the speed of dissemination changes who we are and how we interact with our world.  Many have talked about how disconnected we have become from each other on a personal level. Even as our world has become infinitely smaller, as people all over the globe instantly communicate real time. How quickly our understanding changes and grows, how difficult it becomes to stay current.  How easy it becomes to be lost in a technological time warp.  If we are to believe that Moore's law will hold true for even the next 20 years the changes from this moment to that moment will be astounding.
    Now for a bit of the inane at least from my perspective.  I have been playing with, and learning about the crypto-currencies. Some Ideas on Bitcoin, what makes this valuable it has no backing.  There is the idea that it currently has the largest distributed network ever created.  This is amazing, and sad. Amazing that it's been created at all. Sad that it's being used to make essentially video game money.  Virtual gold coins to be traded in a virtual world. Who's use creates the value, Just as the value of the U.S. Dollar is in the decline due to losing it's status as the worlds trade currency.  You can argue that last statement, though it would be one of extent.  While yes technically the Dollar remains the worlds reserve currency it is steadily losing it's use as a trade currency.  Bitcoin's use and acceptance as a cross boarder currency in an increasingly globalized world will only hasten the decline.  This doesn't make Bitcoin the answer, as it seems even farther removed from the resources then the traditional fiat currencies we are already using.  If the Dollar is rotten, anything that has it's value tied directly to the dollar has to be rotten as well.


Jack
aka
PanseyBard

The Tower of Babel Undone

         The Tower of Babel, the idea that all people at one time had a common language, but through the arrogance of trying to reach GOD our punishment was confuse our tongues.  For those that would like a bit more in depth look at this story please check here, http://www.omniglot.com/babel/. Honestly I'm not as interested in the exact details, as I am in now.  This is a story that has roots in so many cultures there is more then likely some truth to it, even if it is not in the way we think.  As our use of computers has grown, and the capabilities of those computers has grown, we have intentional or effectively undone this event.

We now have at our finger tips instant translation. My phone can listen for me and speak translations at almost real time.  My browser translates full page texts with improvements ongoing to ensure the most correct translations possible.  There is even bubble translation which can be used both directions. Giving the ability to not only translate portions of text, but also write in your native text and have translated into any number of languages.  We have effectively undone this classical story.  What are the ramifications of this punishment by GOD being undone by man?   Why have the end of the world folks seemingly left this topic alone?  This story is from a GOD that doesn't seem to take kindly to interference, or rules breaking. This is a GOD that endorsed the plagues of Egypt, the destruction of Sodom, and Gomorrah.  How a GOD with this track record reacts to having it's ruling circumvented can only be imagined.
       I am not a religious person, I do not profess, or follow any given religion.  I love studying religions, it's a passion. I guess I'm looking for something greater interacting, and taking an interest in humanity.  So this story in particular is of interest due to it being currently unfolding, a link back to biblical times. I thread of story active in my current reality that has it's roots in a time of wonder when gods walked the earth, and man with all it's flaws wasn't considered the power.  As always these are just random thoughts rattling around my mind, take them as such.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

The Illusion of absolute Math, or Number

        Heya, this will be another trip into the more abstract regions of mind, and some may have problems with my premises. I expect as much, some people will take this as a challenge to the basic nature of reality. My intent here is not to tell you that 1 apple + 1 apple doesn't = 2 apples that would be silly.  I am fully aware of what is. What I want to get across is simple what we have termed numbers are a symbol alphabet to represent quantity.  Math is the language of number, as in the 1+1=2 example, it is only through application that the meaning is found.  In the most abstract absolute the 1+1=2 will hold true every time. In the world we actually inhabit, and spend our physicality in things are not so cut and dry.  Lets take a look at some examples were perspective changes the meaning of the number, or hides another number within.
      Wow this is a tough one for me to even write. It is so contrary to my logical process that being able to type and hold on to the more abstract concepts that flit by is not always easy for me. From a purely logical position what I'm getting at is that what most people think of as math is an abstract, take our classic 1+1=2 statement. Apply it to Amoebae this doesn't work out so well, I'm pretty sure if I take 1 Amoebae, and add 1 Amoebae to it, I'm gonna end up with 1 Amoebae.  Then take music, modern western system is a base 7 math system. I know octave is 8, but in that system the 8 is acting as both a 1 and an 8 infinitely in both directions out of our hearing range.  Even at extremely high or low energy states the laws of physics begin to change, what we take to be constants begin to alter. The absolute nature of the number itself can be questioned.  There is always another decimal with a complete set of numbers larger and smaller.
      I don't feel this should be news to anyone.  The idea that we don't actually live in a world of absolutes should be abundantly clear to pretty much everyone. As always I do not claim any special training or knowledge and much of the time from my own perspective I do not see any reason for anyone to pay any attention to anything I say.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

My Words are Poison

          I do not matter. What I think does not matter.  I am not an example to held before others. I am profane, do not look upon me with pity or revulsion. Do not look to me for guidance, I will led you astray.  If or when my thoughts become mainstream I am already gone into some grey area. I am a pirate, the constraints placed on me by others are only taken on in a superficial manor.  Ready to be cast off the moment it no longer serves me.  I have no earthly authority, I do defer to others when appropriate to do so, but I maintain final say in all things me.  I do not believe in unconditional love as a physical reality, I do not see it possible without the loss of sovereignty.   Broaching no master, I am no ronin.

 I will bear no weight that is not of my own choosing, do not saddle me with your desires.  Take precautions in what you share with me, your every breath, each heartbeat radiates your soul. Your beauty, and beast plainly clear in your every glance.  Do not show me your sore spots I will poke them, sometimes for fun, others for profit. You have no rights with me.  Your rights begin where I end, I will violate you.  You will ask me to do so, despite my protests you will beg to be subsumed, eagerly giving up your self in the desire to be saved.  I am no savior, I am no demon, I am all saviors, and all demons.  I live for your destruction, and smile as you destroy me.  As soon as you think you have me defined I will break your misconceptions, bursting through to the boundaries not of my own making.
        I love you in the abstract, and care no what happens to you as a person.  You are the light, you are the way, shine it for all to see.  Be the beacon of hope in the darkness, I am among the sharks.  The waters fine, enter at your own risk, for here there be dragons. You go be the light, I'll be here in the shadows waiting, and when your exhausted, and down trodden, maybe I will offer my hand.  Be loves presence in the world, for in the immortal words of a favorite of mine, "Love is the Law".  Oh Aleister what a prankster you are. Teaching in riddle, half truth, and symbol.  Shine your love for all, be the brilliant star you know yourself to be.  Just remember when you shine a light in the dark, you never know what will be attracted.

Life, Laugh, Love. Be yourself. Let GOD worry about the rest. GOD is very good at it.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Tarot, Kabbalah, Personal Development and You Part 2

      In part 1 I went through the tarot as an external tool, to be used to gain insight into things "external" to self.  There is nothing wrong with this use, for me it's not using the tool to it's full potential to instill change in the self.  I tell you this from my heart, if there is something in your life it is there to teach you about you.
This for me is where the tarot shines, the simplicity of it's design allows it to be applied real time as you go through your day.  At first glance this may seem like an external use, looks are often misleading.  Once you are able to identify the roles your playing in the dramas you find around you on a daily basis. You will be able to take an emotional, and mental step back, and decide if these roles are desired in your experience. Or perhaps you have learned the lessons of this particular morality tale, and are ready to change it.  For me this ties into idea of who you think you are?   I laugh at people who grab their birth chart, and proudly proclaim this is who I am.  At best that was the energetic imprinting of the planets at the moment of your birth, it has relevance just like the visible phases of the moon.  I'm sure we get a slight boost of suns rays under a full moon, but I guarantee the tides are holding out their motion for Gravity.  My point is we are dynamic beings, We evolve and grow and change.  When we figure ourselves out we even start to have a say in who we become.  For me using the tarot as a framework of stories I can see in my life, my mind, my heart, that is the true gift of the tarot.
      As the tarot is a story board version of the Tree of Life, the Tree of life is a subset of the Flower of Life.

 This is the full expression of the sacred pattern, from which all form, shape, and substance can be plucked. Every major religion has versions of this symbol. If your proficient at seeing stereograms use the same vision on that image.  More often then not the Flower of Life image people are accustomed to seeing this.

 This does contain all the same information, what changes is the scale. People would like one system to apply to everything, and that is the case.  You just have to be open enough for that system to be larger then you can comprehend at one time.  That is the nature of being multidimensional, being able to see the same "thing" from varying perspectives while still holding on to yours.
        To tie back to the Kabbalah, here is one way the Tree is shown in the flower.

How many D do you wish to be, the choice has always been ours.
How many points are on any given line?
as many or as few as you want.
That being said people will need to come to grips with there are different number base systems for different purposes. Take modern western music system, it's base 7, I know there are 8 notes, the eighth is always the beginning and the end.  More on the base number systems and how/where they apply in the next episode.

As always, this just my take on years of study, meditation and consciousness alteration with intent.
If you don't like my view don't share it, just leave me to it.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard