Who Can Say

          Recently in a google+ group the question "What do you deserve?" was posed.  While attempting to answer, and failing miserably.  This word deserve itself was in my way. The notion that anyone, thing, or even divinity has the right to judge another, abhorrent to my mind.  Even allowing for the notion of omnipotent, present, omniscient there would be no place for deserved.  Immediate ideas of who is judging, how can this question even be contemplated without so much more qualifying information. Yet we use these concepts regularly, putting ourselves on one side or the other of some arbitrary line drawn by people usually long gone, with no bearing on current experience.   Even our sense of identity does not easily lend itself to this sort of black and white judgement. The narrative being constantly reworked, re-imagined, new meaning being attached to events long gone.  Those with eidetic, or more commonly photographic memory, when looking back are not able to experience the events as they originally did. Remembering itself becomes the experience, so the events are filtered through the current conception of self, not felt as they originally occurred.  In a very real sense the self we identify as, never existed, and never will, it's a story a way of framing the identity we are currently projecting.  How many current identities do you actually have? How many labels are attached to your sense of self? Are you a mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, employee, employer, artist, the list is as endless, and we are almost always acting as multiples of these all the time. Which might be forefront may change as we move through time/space/energy. Generally when we think of ourselves it's in a static imagining of an unchanging timeless being, we discount or do not recognize our relative change of self from one day to the next. The gradual nature is much like that of the frog in water with the temperature slowly rising. We discount the effects others have had on our conception of self, or the effects we have had on others self identification.
       Even when ideas of reincarnation or karma are taken into consideration, a dualism such as deserve lacks continuity.  These conceptions are from my perspective a opening of the idea of identity though it is an expansion of the ego, not a taming or elimination of.  In a creation of underlying unity the lines between self and other are not so clear. Our sense of independence is dependent upon that which we claim is not representative of  self, an other to be not us.  This leads to an interesting contradiction of unity, and division, the lines being drawn through identification. That which we identify as not self often have greater impact on our conception of self, than those we accept as self.  Tricks of perception, relative motions, much akin to the red shift, blue shift of stars.
      The collapse of space/time/energy into relativity to the ever changing moment of singularity, where the Three become one. Love, and Hate never oppose each other, Peace does not gird itself preparing for War, these states are only linked through the those that experience both. Love and Hate find their opposition in indifference.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard