The Sacred Cow of Self

      Almost all of us have grown up with this idea of self, how we identify what is and isn't other. It is such a base concept we struggle to assert it in sea of other perceived selves, and we are generally so certain of our absolute right to be. Even before birth we demand and take space from our parents, and indirectly grandparents, on down the genetic line. Our sense of separate so central, and seemingly so obvious, we look out from the center of creation, there was nothing before us, and imagining a world without us is often seen as dysfunctional. Some of our greatest minds have come to almost identical conclusions, this self is a fiction, that underlying all is a unity. When people like to insist they are independent I like to point out, we are biological with all that entails, that we do not provide anything for ourselves. We are adjuncts to the planet itself, we complete a circuit with the earth, at least when we aren't wearing crazy insulating shoes. The same extends in our emotions. those energy states exist independently of us, and we experience them. Events happen, we like to say this happened, and it made me happy, or sad, or scared, it doesn't matter. Those emotional states are energetic and flow from our mental attachments to circumstances, and outcomes. These mental constructs weren't even ours, someone, or often in recent time something taught us our expectations. Starting from birth we are handed our names, our family history, our starting point. Square zero in this game we call life, with all sorts of expectations come along with these, placed on a new born. Quite the load in most cases. From that point on, we are told what, how, and where everything fits, how we are supposed to view everything. We are for most are so impressionable, facing the seemingly omnipotent beings accept without question. Our perceptions being shaped by the experience of others. As we develop we begin to be selective, quite often not in directions the people raising us intended. Our true fictional character generation has begun. We see, feel, and hear taking in, and adopting portions of all we encounter. We self identify as belonging to this group or that group. From clicks at school, to the latest music fad, movies, tv. We eat it up, dreaming of what part we fit in, incorporating various parts of the presented as if it was us. At times we even notice the words coming out of our mouths are something we heard, or the steps we take across the floor were someone else's we borrowed. As kids we are very open about it, weather it's playing house, or baseball, we are more often than not pretending to be other people we have witnessed.  We practice all these scenarios over and over, in our mind, in our hearts, and often in physicality trying to get them just right. Attempting to attain levels of perfection we saw in other fictional beings.
        Our physics can't really determine where a thing starts or ends. In our psychology we almost always end up looking at macro dynamics, concepts of group, or collective, mass. All containing the ideas we are just a little drop in a much bigger pool. Can we really pick a particular drop out of the ocean, and be certain we got the one we intended?  There is what we have labeled mind, it seems we experience as we are able, as we focus. We have even labeled these electromagnetic frequencies, our brain wave states, and labeled them with our relative values. Than we attempt to say we generate them, yet we can not find where that is. These are electromagnetism exists independently of humanity. The planet itself rotates in charged space, and has it's own field. As an aside we seem to be going through a pole reversal at this point, check out  http://www.suspicious0bservers.org/ if your interested in that information.
  Frequency of Brain Waves

State	Frequency range	State of mind
Delta	0.5Hz–4Hz	Deep sleep
Theta	4Hz–8Hz	Drowsiness (also first stage of sleep)
Alpha	8Hz–14Hz	Relaxed but alert
Beta	14Hz–30Hz	Highly alert and focused

Frequency of Brain Waves - The Physics Factbook - Hypertextbook

https://hypertextbook.com/facts/2004/SamanthaCharles.shtml

there is something very interesting in those numbers. 

König confirmed Schumann's hypothesis by detecting resonances at a main frequency of 7.83 Hz; thus, the “Schumann resonance” was established by measuring global electromagnetic resonances generated and excited by lightning discharges in the ionosphere.Feb 17, 2017

What does the spike in the Schumann resonance mean? – Dr. Joe ...

https://www.drjoedispenza.com/.../what-does-the-spike-in-the-schumann-resonance-mea...

Our waking state of conscious would seem to be riding on the standing wave of the planet itself.

This would lend itself to the ideas these are shared states, being interacted with by our biology.

Never was is all that will do.

       Recently on www.quora.com I was asked a question that has me a little disturbed. It's not the question that got to me, it was my own answer.  The question was pretty simple, when did I last do something fun, that left me with a fond feeling.  What has me a little warped is that I had to admit to myself, that not only has been a very long time since I did something really fun. That it seems that most of what I had at one time considered fondly had lost it's shine.  To be fair I never was caught up by what most people seem interested in.  As example the idea of married, and kids seemed irresponsible before I even dropped out of high school.  I wasn't so impressed with the world I found, so how could I do as society asked, get a job settle down, and have kids. I would be sentencing my own children to what I had already deemed a farce of freedom. So I skipped it all, all the major rights of passage of the modern US. From prom to hs graduation, college, marriage, children, all brushed off as not meaningful for my experience. What became meaningful was to explore the idea of creation itself, as I had already rejected so much of what seems fundamental to humans, pair bonding, and procreation, needed something to lend purpose.  Not that I lacked relationships, just they were doomed from the start, as I could commit to the person, but was unwilling to do the family thing.
      Life became about how I could get fucked up next, where was my next high going to come from. By my early 20's dealing as a regular part of making enough to cover expenses, as well as the free time to make doing drugs my go to. To be clear, I only sold stuff I was doing, so main pot, and lsd, occasional opium and mushrooms. During this time I studied, religious, magical, physics, anything that purported to explain reality, and why creation was, where humanity fit. Anything that could explain why. I learned tons, stuff that seems to apply across the spectrum of understanding. What I found about meaning and purpose seems to be the same as every other sage, or seeker who has come before. This isn't the place. That this is the only place, what is, is, and always was. The forms may change, the energies shift, but there really isn't a purpose to life. That life is the purpose of life, and it only has meaning in relation to itself.  I found that what life has to offer is sensation, that meaning is contextual and absolutes have no place here. That the things people value, and sacrifice seem to be inverted. Instead of our advancement freeing us to be more humane, to be more oriented toward life, toward home, and family. Had been turned to enslave us more to systems that serve themselves, and chew life up, and consume it without a thought. The more I found the less connected I felt, not to humanity, but to the ideas put forward by the cultural I grew up in. I've found I never really had a place in the world I grew up in.
       I found that while being alive wasn't an issue, I had no desires for any of it. My day to day became going through the motions, pretending I was living for free time. While filling that time with escapist pursuits, books, video games, movies. This over consumption of media just reinforced what I had already learned, we've been stuck in loops. We are playing out dramas right out our oldest stories, that 13 base stories make up our drama, and I wasn't interested in any of them. That while there was only love for everyone, I wished to have never been.  Not suicidal as that seems to not help, once you are, you are. So here I am, another year just starting, the world seemingly trying to recover from it's past. While I just wanna get through it, wishing I never was.    

Being Multi Di Men Shun All

         As the title would suggest I'm going to talk about being a multidimensional entity. At least the how's and what not as I understand them in my current state of un foldment.  To start I am speaking for me, myself, and I, you should believe whatever gets you through the day, and helps you sleep at night.  This is likely to be simpler, and because it is so simple, rejected out of hand by most who see it.  That's ok, no really, nothing is actually hidden or off limits to anyone. Provided they freely choose it, and are able to grasp their desire, so it spills out all over blessing, and cursing those watching.
        Being a Multi D-Man is nothing, it's like time travel, just kick back your already doing it.  Ok, well that's a wrap, thank you for not reading or subbing, fine, but ya know there are at least half dozen or so voices telling me some version of pearls before swine.  There are more that just love bacon.  I'm going to use what is seemingly a hot topic lately, though I do not get it.  Flat, vs, Globe earth.  Like almost every question, the answer is not in the earth, perceptually it can be either, and not change the experience. What changes is you, as always. How elastic can you as an individual have your mind function. Kinda like this, how many ways can you come up with to handle any situation. that is how multi dimensional you are in relation to that. Can you hold Vader, and Luke in your mind, and love them both for the perceived evil they both brought. Or how about that life is the greatest gift, while being the most evil thing ever conceived of.  This is not rocket science though most will crash and burn, they do not get balance. Believing in the idea of taking off for the clouds, and wild blue yonder is going to help them move forward.  Or that in no thought lies salvation, or nirvana, all you do is forget, and all those amazingly hard things you have to do over till you learn them, as self.
     The me/myself/and I that reside in this physical form now is getting really sick of everyone attempting to wife, job or child it. I can just go, I do not need any of this, or anyone. I'm a multiple and can full entertain myself for eternity. I am here by request, either get the fuck out of my way, and let me fulfill what was asked of me, or gimme your damn paper, take the ideas I have and exploit them. I mean shit I never asked to be here, been writing this stuff for as long as I can remember, now there is some kind of crunch, and holy shit we better asked the stoner people.  They rejected most of your world before I heard of it. I have never cared about money, I am often called money, why?  because I piss that shit, the biological waste most people think nothing of is usually of more value than what people supposedly earn for doing repetitive machine jobs.  Redefine yourself, do not allow yourself to be caged or labeled. Be your own center, or someone will be all to happy to slide into that role.
       I've several times deleted all my social media, it's not that I do not have fun, it's that everyone on each of them think it's theirs like they can make something that relies on as many people as possible using it, and than say they own it. that in case you didn't get it is a form of being slave to. I'm not saying I'm something special, quite the opposite. I'm a moron. I love to get high, and talk about crazy shit most will have no desire to play with, and obviously if we are going to cage worth by some numbers on paper, or a screen we will all fail. It's not like I'm advocating against accounting, or saying all are equal in ability to distribute those resources in a wise fashion. I'm not even saying I would be good at that, that is another machine job.  People are the dolls, that play in the garden of the Gods. if your a person why are you chasing? If your deity is one of lack, and limitations, how omnipotent can it be.  If you want to tell me you worked hard for what you have, I call bullshit. motion does work, which is merely a potential differential equalization. popping your ears in the plane.  Now I'm willing to play many roles, but crap am I sick of being treated like a patient, as if I am supposed to be doing something differently. Do you talk to my deity? cuz I do all the time, and do mostly what is asked of me. When my creator has a problem with me it will let me know.  Btw much of this is coming from the nonsense that goes on in LinkedIn it seems all they want me to do is work, a career, something to give me vested interests. I'm not interested, my vested interest is in people, in sound, light and color, in play, in death, in the human condition whatever that is.
     I seem to be able to talk to the living, or dead those seem to switch, weather I'm alive or dead seems to be solely in relation to who I'm interacting with, crazy right?  Like I was tripping on sodium fluoride, a neurotoxin if you didn't know, with the salt being a rapid blood stream delivery mechanism. On those nights I was in my bathroom just frying my mind out, and learning how to make the bathroom become an isolated weather generator, through using heat and cold to draw air flow, and create a vortex. While in there I started getting tons of stuff about Disney. Oddly almost no one had heard of Walt, though a few weeks later I'm being told he frequented this area. Did I really speak to a dead man that almost no one here has heard of, but in my world was such a huge historical figure there was almost no one that did not know him.  What part of I do not work do people not get. according to who invited me, I'm a Quinn and they do not work here. Whatever that means. It's all Charlotte's web, I'm caught in it just like everyone.

Jack        

All Hail Queen Char-Lit

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1CiPl-32wlKM1d2THlWXzJZaTA/view?usp=sharing

Not Your Grandfathers Constitution

The Constitution was never meant for you!

     I've seen so much about how to use the constitution from everything from not paying taxes, to not registering a vehicle, or needing a drivers license. As shocking as it might seem, you can not really do this, well at least not how most people attempt it.  To understand why this most iconic of American documents can not be used this way we have to understand what the constitution sets out. The Constitution is the document that lays out the powers being granted to the federal government, and which powers were being retained by the States.  This document was signed by representatives of the States. This means we as the people are not actually party to this document. So while we the people can be involved in constitutional cases, There is little we can directly invoke.  The constitution to use on a regular basis is the one for your state.  This does nothing to change dealing with an officer of the law.  When your dealing with police, they are not the ones to make your case to.  Let me repeat that, the police are not the people you make your case to.  If your getting a ticket, and do not wish to sign, fine. Anything else you have to say, you say in court.  As a side note, I have made a case that when the law was passed that only free white landowners could be citizens, they made it so no one could be party to the document right there.  As you can not be free, and a citizen, you can not own property within a sovereign nation, and there are no people who claim to be white.  Be that as it may, there are many other reasons the constitution is at the very least under a state of suspension.

1871 Birth of a Corporation

The civil war has been sold as a war to end slavery.  This is of course much like the revolution, where no taxation without representation has been sold as the mantra.  The US Civil War was also a banker or currency war. The US had 70 year loans coming due, along with the South's plantation system was a part of the British free trade system.  Yes they used the terms free trade to describe a slavery, and forced purchase system of global proportions.  In the aftermath in order to meet demands from international bankers, what we think of as Washington DC was created as a separate legal jurisdiction, under it's own control.  At this point the idea that was America is over, this set up is almost identical to the city of London, and the Vatican.

1913 Installation of Banker Rule

In 1913 we get a double barrel does of usurpation.  Following a period known as wildcat banking, essentially it was the wild west only for currency creation, as well as a time of massive external manipulation leading to the crisis of the Knickerbocker trust.  Major banking interests were able to get the 3rd privately owned, and controlled central bank, with sole rights to create and manage the nations currency.  Simultaneously the IRS was created to be the collection arm. Bear in mind for those unaware, these are not federal agencies, they are private corporations.  The Federal Reserve was tasked with protecting the purchasing power of the dollar, this could not be further from what was done in reality.  Most people know or at least have an inkling of the great depression.  By 1929 the Federal Reserve had bankrupted the nation, and needed new legislation to cement it's position.

1933 What Kind of Deal is This?

What was learned in twenty years wasn't that private creating of currency with attached interest was exactly what religions from all over the world had warned about in the idea of usury. Nah, what was learned was, people were not reporting income because it wasn't in their interests.  In rides Social Security to the rescue, now workers themselves will insist their earnings are reported. This was it the coup was complete, only one pesky thing, that document, the Constitution it limits federal powers. 

Welcome to the State of Emergency

Aside from the destruction of state, and individual rights that have taken place. There is a rather interesting fact of our present country.  We have been under a state of emergency since 1933.  You read that correctly, while yes we are still a nation acting under the rule of law. What those laws are, remain a subject of great debate.  According to senate report 93-549, we are under not one, but four states of emergency. It has become so convoluted that a committee was established to figure out what laws were changed, and how, as well as how to in essence stand down.  

Who Can Say

          Recently in a google+ group the question "What do you deserve?" was posed.  While attempting to answer, and failing miserably.  This word deserve itself was in my way. The notion that anyone, thing, or even divinity has the right to judge another, abhorrent to my mind.  Even allowing for the notion of omnipotent, present, omniscient there would be no place for deserved.  Immediate ideas of who is judging, how can this question even be contemplated without so much more qualifying information. Yet we use these concepts regularly, putting ourselves on one side or the other of some arbitrary line drawn by people usually long gone, with no bearing on current experience.   Even our sense of identity does not easily lend itself to this sort of black and white judgement. The narrative being constantly reworked, re-imagined, new meaning being attached to events long gone.  Those with eidetic, or more commonly photographic memory, when looking back are not able to experience the events as they originally did. Remembering itself becomes the experience, so the events are filtered through the current conception of self, not felt as they originally occurred.  In a very real sense the self we identify as, never existed, and never will, it's a story a way of framing the identity we are currently projecting.  How many current identities do you actually have? How many labels are attached to your sense of self? Are you a mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, employee, employer, artist, the list is as endless, and we are almost always acting as multiples of these all the time. Which might be forefront may change as we move through time/space/energy. Generally when we think of ourselves it's in a static imagining of an unchanging timeless being, we discount or do not recognize our relative change of self from one day to the next. The gradual nature is much like that of the frog in water with the temperature slowly rising. We discount the effects others have had on our conception of self, or the effects we have had on others self identification.
       Even when ideas of reincarnation or karma are taken into consideration, a dualism such as deserve lacks continuity.  These conceptions are from my perspective a opening of the idea of identity though it is an expansion of the ego, not a taming or elimination of.  In a creation of underlying unity the lines between self and other are not so clear. Our sense of independence is dependent upon that which we claim is not representative of  self, an other to be not us.  This leads to an interesting contradiction of unity, and division, the lines being drawn through identification. That which we identify as not self often have greater impact on our conception of self, than those we accept as self.  Tricks of perception, relative motions, much akin to the red shift, blue shift of stars.
      The collapse of space/time/energy into relativity to the ever changing moment of singularity, where the Three become one. Love, and Hate never oppose each other, Peace does not gird itself preparing for War, these states are only linked through the those that experience both. Love and Hate find their opposition in indifference.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

Peter Pan Advice

          That I would be labeled as suffering from a peter pan complex I'd imagine would come as little surprise to anyone who has taken a passing glance at my blog, or met me.  Much of the time the same folks that would say I have never grown up often also bitch about me pointing out logical fallacies in their decision making process. Our cultural ideas of adulthood, and the expected path for development are in my opinion not just flawed, but counter productive to my development as not a human, who knows how long I'll be one. It's my development as a whole being, of the mind learning to be master of emotional, and physical being.  Not devoid of emotional content, or physical desires, this only leads to repression, and usually uncontrolled outbursts.  The ability to think clearly becomes clouded as another energy center takes over for the duration.  What is mature, or adult, who decided on the ideals?
         Rites of Passage might be developmentally some of the most important events a self aware being can experience.  Being acknowledged by the public as having transitioned from one group to another, or one phase of life to another.  Cultures through out recorded history have used these ceremonial events. They mark the death, and rebirth a phoenix moment in an individuals life. It actually causes a person to think of themselves differently, as well as be viewed by the wider world differently.  Most of what we think of as reality, is a mental overlay, it is and is not real.  Most of the systems of human centered survival, are high levels of energetic organization. Meaning they would suffer greatly from effects of entropy if not tended.  From ideas of community, to finance, education, governance, the list is almost endless. I'm not saying these are not real, I'm saying we made them up, their reality relies on our acceptance of them as meaningful, and applicable.  These ceremonial events filled with ritual, and formal meaning mark an acceptance of the veracity of these institutions, and the ideas they hold.  These would be fine if the patterning, the indoctrination they presented was reflective of greater reality, for me that answer has been no. Only that what these do is not teach, it's indoctrinate into a system that for me holds very little value.  Before I get bogged down in the pitfalls of the US, the effect of the ceremony itself is what I am getting at.  What we think of as self, our idea of ego identification is altered in dramatic ways by participation in these events.  In altering the way the individual, and greater reality labels the individual. After a certain point in the system an individual must set aside their own ideas, and thoughts to represent the ideas held by the established order. This is mind control, or shaping, mentoring, the differences being of method, and intention. With each ceremony the individual is invested a bit more into the system that offered the accolade, it creates ready defenders regardless of the logic of the position held. This is an amazing strategy, it co-ops opposition, as well as shuts down rational thought or dialog. It is the same one used often by royalty in taking control by making nobles of another country to invested to oppose. Creating defenders out what would normally be adversaries.
        Take a moment, and watch the movie hook, even peter pan was lured by playing pirate, and only by becoming peter pan once again was able to save what really mattered, the children. Not just his, but the lost boys too. It's never to late to become a kid again!

Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

Living a Shadow Life

            A little over a year ago what was left of my top teeth were pulled.  After the healing time and 2 sets of digital dentures I gave up on dentures entirely.  While others seemingly have no issues with them, and some even rave. For me they are not a viable option, the constant gagging, and salivating, combine with the constant reminder of being incomplete physically.  Suffice it to say, it's been at least 6 months since I have even taken a look at the dentures.  In many ways this is fine, no one even seems to notice, and as long as I'm a bit careful about what I chose to eat, and the relief from continuous infections, and pain is nice change of pace.  There is little actual recovery, physically sure I'm in better health than I have been in at least 10 years or more.  Recovery as most are aware is more than physical. When my teeth began to crumble away, yes that is how it happened for me, never tried meth, but mountain dew mouth as it's called sure makes it look like I did.  When my left eye tooth split like it was layered veneer and the front half sloughed off, my sense of self shifted.  Even though my physical appearance has rarely been of great import to me, having rotten broken teeth, or now no top teeth at all is pushing the limits for me.  To be fair I had already become for the most part a hermit, out of a sense of self preservation more than anything else. The ideas, drives, passions others chase have for the most part to me seemed trivial at best, and nightmares or worse.  That never stopped me from being social,  Now even though I am healthy, and lost a bunch of weight just from becoming more active, and changing up my diet a little.  People comment how I look great, and all I want to do is run, I understand the change they are seeing, it just doesn't register the same for me as for them.  It's an odd betwixt and between feeling, as implants would be the next choice, though if your a bit forward looking, you might be aware of the research with stem cells, and lasers. Already full regrowth in lab conditions on rats has been achieved, so getting implants might be detrimental to being able to take advantage of a procedure that may only be 5 years or so out.  As I have been writing this, what keeps coming to my mind is feeling broken, of only being partially functional even though it is only a slight impairment. The island of misfit toys keeps flashing through my mind, an odd state of being.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

Currency for Living

        I'm going to be talking mostly from the perspective of being a resident of the United States, most of my explanations will apply with a few name changes to almost every nation. Money makes the world go round, not true obviously, but also tough to argue with as it certainly seems to spin the human world.  Going without currency is to an extent impossible if you live in a modern nation. we are paid, sometimes even forced to get special accounts just to receive the fruits of our labor. Why given the facts of how much impact money, and finance has on our everyday experience it's a wonder hardly anyone seems to understand it, or even have any desire to.  The boons of an abstract store of value, a thing that represents all other things in potential can not be understated, and would have to make it to any list of ideas that changed the world. Having a representational system of value has without a doubt opened up trade, allowed for specialization at unprecedented levels.  That does not mean our current system will continue as is, nor does it mean our current system is infallible.  There has been much made about how contrived our markets are, with not price discovery, but manipulation at work as the rule.  As a world we live in a debt based system, consolidation of resources, and money as a thing.  Money as thing is fine, if the money is a thing, ours is figures on a screen or pieces of paper, with the majority of it only coming into being when it is created with interest attached by private parties.  This makes for different classes of money, easy to understand if all money is debt, the money created with a lower interest rate attached would have more value than that created with a higher rate.  This interest on the creation of money sets in place a organized crime like skim, where the percentage of interest charged is stolen right off the top.  All while zero risk, as your product is needed by everyone, yet does not exist till you sell it to them.  Many will now be saying that I am ignoring the reserve requirements.  These might have been a restraint at one time, with zero interest and the presses on full blast, meeting the requirements is an after the fact event.
        How might we change this?  Issuing currency is and must remain with the sovereign, be it a nation, or municipality what have you.  In order for the money to not take over, it must be maintained as a service to the nation by the nation.  The US must issue it's own currency the credit agencies, and private banks would have to adhere to a full reserve requirement.  This would eliminate the infinite growth mythology, and allow for expansion and contraction of the currency supply based on the needs to facilitate the exchange of goods and services.  Isn't that what representational money is about?  Making it as simple as possible for an individual to exchange what they have, for what they need?
      In fairness the US monetary system never stood a chance, with even our history being rewritten to leave our money as a prime motivating factor for the revolution.  Some even goes so far as to make a case that Hamilton, our first secretary of the treasury was an agent for international banking interests. As interesting as history can be, the who did what who, or he said she said game will not do a thing to change the present.  Like all technology, money is a thing most do not wish to spend time thinking about. We just want it to work, ours doesn't, was not planned to, and we are in the world change over of global trade settlement.  If there was intent to work our system as intended the bail out would have been in public works projects. Where those with the least are put to work by the government to make improvements everyone will benefit from. This allows the currency to enter at the bottom, and trickle it's way up through the full economic structure.  What we have done is cut out the middle and bottom, injecting the currency almost at the top. Combined with interest rates kept artificially low, that currency has no choice but to enter into speculative markets just to find a return. This only adds distortion to the overall economic data.
     We can make money the tool it is intended to be, or we can be little more than economic servants to those who understand it's tricks. The choice is always ours.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard  

Love, Life, and Liberty the Lies We Tell

           Those without prior exposure to the insanity I  call a blog, or the drivel that comes rushing out my fingertips when the flow moves me are warned now. What proceeds is a work of the mind, it has little to do with the conceptions of everyday existence most cling to.  I ask no forgiveness, nor do I apologize, I am warning.  This type of thinking is detrimental for some, it sets up questions of mind that can not reasonably be answered while within the experience we call life.  This is a logic play, if you do not understand when to draw your own lines between reality, and fantasy than please just refrain from reading any further.  If you have strong religious convictions likely this will only serve to irritate you, or cause to you question your faith.  If that is so, your the one questioning, not me, so leave me out of it.
           From my perspective, which is all I really have, and is in itself something changing constantly. We, and by we I mean every thing in the universe, creation, whatever you call it, is in a state of delusion.  That the only way we can be having this experience of life, of being real is through clinging to several delusions.  These are in no particular order, they seemingly change order of importance as functions of each other.  That we exist at all, with the energy to matter conversion equation we learned that there is no such thing as what we think of as matter. That energy can not be destroyed or created it can only be transformed.  This sets up an interesting dilemma, as there can only be energy, and energy needs a transmission medium, which according to this can not exist, other than as a conditional state of the energy itself.  The concept of our lack of reality has been expressed many times in many ways. From the dream within a dream idea, or the matrix, this conception our own non existence is expressed.  The second delusion is that we exist as individuals. There is no place where anything stops, and anything starts. What we think of as our seemingly solid bodies with continuity are in reality a constantly shifting mass of energy, much like a storm appears to us. The third delusion is we are the center of all things. This one even for those that have been able to accept the ideas of the first two often reject.  My own sense of I, finds this fact to be most humorous, and exactly as it should be.  That we perceive as if we were the center of all things is not really up for debate. Our sense of self stems for the idea we are a body, that we look out from our eyes. That our senses interpret what for us is reality. This is such an amazing state of being, it can not be celebrated enough. That you are the one sitting at the center of creation, even if it's only from your perspective such a cool trick of relativity it becomes overlooked. As if it couldn't possibly any other way, this isn't so, as nde, obe, remote viewing, channeling and the like lead to the conception your point of perception is not permanently attached to what we think of as our physical body.
          An oddity in the ideas of reincarnation, through ego attachment we seem to get many people who due to feeling powerless now project themselves forward, and backward through time to be powerful people somewhere, or sometime else.  It is seemingly rare for people to consider that if there is a linear progression of reincarnation, where have new people come from?  As well as how few consider the idea they might have been Hitler, Stalin, Nero, these figures from history that are viewed as evil, or corrupt, or just plain insane.  The flip to this is those who end up in the messianic complex, they rarely actually consider the price those who represented this energy, or personality complex had to pay.  If as our latest equations point to, and spiritual traditions predating recorded history state, that this is eternal, that we always are.  Well eternity is just that, we would have nothing to do, no place to go, other than in relative senses, and we have forever to get there. I am now all I will ever be, even if it's from your perspective not in evidence.
        If someone has a world view that completely accounts for, and encompasses yours, plus adds in others in a larger framework. While theirs is not necessarily accurate, it is likely more accurate than yours. An hour, day, or year are not measurements of time, they are measures of movement, a measurement of rate of motion, or rate of change.  No one on the planet has ever been in the same place twice, even in their own room, or bed. Change the rate of motion, and change the experience of time. I am not me, never was never will be, I am merely reflections of all things I have encountered, The existence of what is seemingly other, is what helps define what I am.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard     

Self Styled Slacker

         I am a slacker, what does that mean?  

slack·er

ˈslakər/

noun

informal

1. a person who avoids work or effort.

   synonyms:

   layabout, idler, shirker, malingerer, sluggard, laggard; More

   • US

     a person who evades military service.
   • NORTH AMERICAN

     a young person (especially in the 1990s) of a subculture characterized by apathy and aimlessness

   
   

I avoid anything I think of as work, or anything I view as being wholly stupid.  Not to say I am not productive, or that I never act in a manor that can be rightly called stupid.  I wasn't always a slacker, and to be fair, I have adopted the term as it's easier to cultivate that view in people than being honest.  In many ways the self adoption of the term is not unlike any other person taking a slight, and using it.  That does not mean I am unable to use that trick of detachment, and see how from others perspectives I do exactly that.  

      From my own view, work is not required, work is something people feel they have to do out of a sense of obligation.  What that obligation is up for debate, it is slightly different for everyone.  Generally coming from lessons taught in childhood, either intentionally or through osmosis, just absorbing what everyone around them says, and does in relation to "money".  That is what it pretty much always comes to, the majority work because they feel it's the only way to get money, and they feel they need money in order to survive.  Some have gotten to a point where the idea of what survival looks like, might be extravagant. That isn't overly important, it's the idea of have to work to survive.  I've never felt that way, and though the hows have changed, the intent has remained fairly constant for about 30 years now.  I'm not even saying I haven't been employed, the what is less important as the how I feel about the what. I mean I had a job at gas station for 5 or so years, it was an exchange, I didn't feel like it was work, with the only time I felt taken advantage of was when being asked to fix a computer as a cashier.  Let me explain this a bit, I covered fri, sat, sun, from 1pm, till midnight, on my own from 5pm on, was allowed to sit and read. My friends would hang out, even had this beautiful woman that would come have dinner sometimes.  It was for me a nice break, and forced me to stay social in the physical world. On my time I was playing Everquest 50+ hours a week, so being in a high profile position where I was forced to interact with people was needed.

      There is seemingly an expected life path, birth, school, job, spouse, kids, death.  Well I do not remember getting the choice of being born, and if I had a say you'd have to question my sanity from the get go. For the first x odd years they tell you, your job is to learn, than they proceed to cram you full of garbage that has very little to do with learning, and an awful lot with Pavlovian conditioning. While I love learning, everyone, and thing teaches me all the time, I do not yet remember a day I didn't learn something.  School as it turns out, was not really about learning, oh sure there are some foundational aspects, the reading, writing, arithmetic. Along with some introduction to higher concepts.  For the most part my experience of school was about the next school, or job you were going to get. When I stopped going, end of junior year, it was there wasn't much left to learn there, and the piece of paper did not mean anyone had learned a thing.  The fact that people were getting degrees essentially handed to them based on who their parents were, or how skilled an athlete they were.  Made the piece of paper meaningless to me, as well as setting up a disdain for those who put faith in them. This doesn't even account for the ideas of diminishing returns being applied, or the shrinking need for a labor pool due to automation. They say that nearly 3/4 of the american population lives paycheck to paycheck, with around 60% being one missed check from the street.  How well is our system working?  In the writings of the founders of America, not the United States, they are different. They wrote about our times right now, not in dates, and prophetic announcements. Nah, they didn't need to go through all that, at the times of their writings they were already being forced to, or had just broken from, an outside agency printing their currency at interest.  They already saw jobs as wage slavery, The idea that future generations would end up homeless due to compounding interest on currency creation in private hands was not, and is not esoteric. Given this perspective the idea of "working" for a "living" loses it's appeal at least in my eyes. 

       For me a flip side to the slacker lifestyle is this, only once you have leisure time do you begin to contemplate.  When your life is about survival, or chasing the next big thing, there is little space for the what if's, the scent of flowers. Often there isn't even room for friends, and family, usually the very ones purportedly being worked so hard to benefit are lost in the daily shuffle, grinding out the next dollar. Or perhaps for some it is the ego identification with a title that gives meaning to their existence. Having lost count long ago of the number of times people have talked to me in the capacity of clerk, and told me I was wasting, or under utilizing my abilities. How can this possibly be? I have no pedigree so to speak, would feel the endorsement as a burden, not a blessing. Strange it feels as if I am becoming, or have been the ultimate con person, convincing everyone I am something, while always being something else.

       Tied into this are the ideas of the rites of passage, ceremonial markings of the transitions through the accepted phases of life. Having not personally finished the school portion, I'm still a kid, with most I encounter recognizing me as such, within the context of western society.  I have done many of the so called mystery traditions indoctrination's, intentionally or just as an outcropping of the exploration.  In the extreme other people have attempted to foist all sorts of labels, or titles onto me, in order to make it ok for them to relate to me as I am.  Having been called everything from cult leader, to guru, asshole, st. germaine, or sanada, a reincarnation of a grey that crashed at roswell, to being told you are as the buddha, or a child of satan. There is an odd thing my slacker life of leisure and contemplation has taught me, at a certain point it doesn't matter what is and isn't true. Even when it comes to ideas of what we may or may not represent as spiritual beings.  That sure you might have genetic predispositions, with the cellular memory, and that is all well and good.  When you get to most abstract connections to all things, it's simply a matter of accepting that all things are connected to all things. Once you are able to see yourself as, than you are.

Jack

aka

PanseyBard

Labels, Labels, Everywhere!

          Labels, we all seem to love to identify, classify, organize, like collectively we are OCD. We make all sorts of systems to enable us to make connections, to make sure everything is as it should be.  Should is of course a key word, as it points to a trap of perspective. We look out on the world seemingly from a point of isolation, we categorize, included, or exclude based on a framework we rarely if ever question.  The very notion we are human is a boarder, a boundary, it isolates us from feeling a sense of connection to the world we inhabit.  As we have self identified as being different, or other, we have become exactly that.  If I am Jack, and you are not Jack, there is no choice for me but treat you as less important than Jack.  When self is identified as merely a differentiated portion of a greater tapestry, a thread in a fabric the universe, multiverse, god, whatever label works for you. At this point, other becomes self, self becomes other, with the juxtaposition being merely a trick of perception.  As all of our experience is a trick of perception. from our senses being equivalent to input/output devices.  These are all finely tuned to pick up certain frequency ranges, we are than given the framework to make sense, everything around us informs us of what it is, much like a function call in object oriented programming.  We in turn broadcast what we are, and what we expect everything else to be.
        In some teachings of what has been called the fall. When the angels we driven from heaven, where they were driven to was the abyss, the chaos or all potential. Kinda what we think of as space, that perfect balance on the Planck scale that we witness as empty.  Into this nothing, the hierarchy of angels imposed order, bringing into form worlds for themselves to inhabit. Our world is just one of many, The impressing of form on formless is a recurring theme in every tradition, crossing into fundamentals of physics. At the core these are attempting to explain what is essentially a tendency, much like the morphogenic fields expressed in the ideas of Sheldrake. Does this mean we can make up whatever want, mold, and shape as we see fit. In a way yes, in other ways no, it sets up a feedback loop. Where we are created, and creator, our own acceptance of there being other gives the other the power to imprint their conception of us, and how we exist in relation to their conception of self.  As we see the world is how the world presents itself to us, as we are incapable of seeing in any other way.

We make it up as we go along, and cling to it like it's our life raft, some to the point of violent reaction to anything that might alter a world view. We seem to continually look for an out, a way to keep our self importance, our place as the center of all creation, I am the center of my own universe, in that way I am the center of all things, everything radiates out from me, I shape by, and in return am shaped by all things.  I've often said I am as I am because no one else was willing to be me, an odd notion, but not far from the truth. The people around me push me into being portions of self they know exist but are unwilling to express for themselves, for what ever reason.  It does not make me anything of these things, except in relation to that which perceives me as such. What the I is that seems to lurk in, around and through me, you and everything. Well that you have to come to on your own, in your own way. My way is very personal, tied to metaphor, and the logic of chaos, coupled to life long exposure to the logic externalized, to become cold, crunching big data in quantum environment where space/time/energy functions of each other. Be aware, or be awareness itself, devoid of attachment to that observed. The world becomes a much different place.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard    

Life Under Glass

        The I represented by the identity Jack Baldwin is a fiction, it's a costume I don in order to have influence in this world. Based on actions known and unknown people lend me their influence, This is pretty well known among folks using the net, it's the idea of endorsing someone on linkdin. People will endorse people for anything, before getting rid of my linkdin account I was seemingly capable of outstanding feats in the professional sphere.  Even in the twitter verse the labels fly willy nilly, I've made lists from MBA's to UX designer, to web developer.  Truth be told, I have been attempting to find my place in the world. You know the one, that thing everyone is supposed to have, where they become engrossed, and content. That life we are supposedly born to live, the perfect job, spouse, house. That place where life can flow by in a blur, while we are busy living it.  Does such a thing even exist for all of us?  When broken down, most of these perfect things are the same I've actively avoided for one reason or another.  If we all are free to choose, if freewill is the rule, how can there be a singular life that will fulfill a person?  Don't I have to choose the life that I will be fulfilled by?
What is that perfect job?  When I hear words of work, career, business, the connotation is not one of pleasure and joy, even labors of love hit the wall, reach the point of diminishing returns, where the effort required to improve becomes as great as the effort it took to achieve the current skill. The idea of work is an odd one, people sold on the premise of effort, or labor when the ideals of production is to off load as much labor and cost as possible while keeping profits at their maximum. I've had lots of jobs, they all were just that, job done out of a feeling of need, or lack. There has never been that feeling of excitement attached to work. Even in areas where it's a hobby or play that transitions into being compensated, once it's for pay it's not play anymore. It becomes a thing having to be done in order to survive, or in order to do other things.  For me I guess that is what work represents, and why I am so resistant to being a worker.  The view of work as being something you do in order to be able to do something else.  What is and isn't productive is an odd thing, when it comes down to it, if the everything is energy, and energy can not be destroyed or created, how can we be said to be doing more than moving stuff around?
       Of course for many love relationships are the all consuming passion of life. Finding that special someone, falling in love, raising a family.  Except, is there really this romantic notion of love, what even is love?  Does the acts involved in the continuation of species, or procreation really have all that much to do with what we generally equate with the mating rituals, or romance?  Having rejected religious notions of marriage, right along with the civil notions of registering the relationship with the state. Like being open, caring and sharing with a person isn't tough enough, it's seemingly the custom across the board to bring the expectations of god, the state, and family members into new relationships.  Really do we need religion peeking over our shoulders while grope hot and heavy, or fumble with a zipper or button?  When I saw you, it wasn't your personality that made me look twice, your education didn't lock my gaze to your swaying hips. It wasn't thoughts of love, it was some serious animal attraction, lust. You know those things many are embarrassed to cop too, that it's tits, or asses, or feet, or whatever our fetish is. The person you are might captivate my attention for a time, but I am complete unto myself,  For me it's about getting lost in how amazing another is, of communion, That feeling that you can not be right for someone else, till your right with yourself. Experience has smacked around a bit, when it comes to this one. Seems the biological drives dovetail really well with the psycho-social conditioning, with my ideology leaving much to be desired from the ideals set forth. In other words I've been single a long time, not out of lack of opportunity, just out of risk versus reward evaluations.
       I guess when you've set your own life as not overly important in fabric of human development, while railing against the prevailing ideological foundation of matter being preeminent, finding those spaces that suit you can be challenging. Answering those questions, of what is this about, why are we here, where are we going.  If existence is a school, we all fail, there is no passing grade,  If it's an illusion we make up as we go along, if we all exist in our own private Idaho, why are there all these assholes in my dream world? If this is a shared experience, a subjective collective, why are we creating so much drama, and suffering? Sure you can only go as high as you've gone low, might have merit, but we just have to be aware of the potential, we do not have to experience every little pit trap.

As ever make up your own mind
Jack
aka
PanseyBard

My So Called Self

        How does one define self, without using anything external?  Even the idea of being a human, is just an idea made up by another human. Everything we think we are is based on ideas people that came before us imparted to us.  When I look at myself in relation to the society I exist in, my values are hardly represented.  If I use the metrics of success I've been taught are important, career, the right house, spouse and accessories that tell the world how great my life is.  Looking at myself from there I can be nothing other than a failure, someone with all the abilities, and lacking in any semblance of self control, or productive direction.  I spend much of my time in contemplation, day dreaming, playing mind games with myself, and sometimes those around me.  Did you know you cause people to flee your presence just by talking, by playing with concepts that push the limits of what a person thinks of as reality, a person can literally be made physically ill.  Almost like the scene in the Matrix, you can push people mental, or emotional boundaries till they run away.  Sometimes I feel a bit guilty about playing with people in that way. I'm even aware, I often come across like I'm dictating, stating as fact things it is impossible to prove.  I've never had a problem with considering or holding ideas that are not my own. To cross back and forth between what is, and what could be, without it becoming has to be. Almost being an actor, the total surrender of self into a concept, the idea of not self.
      People often ask ridiculous questions of each other with impossible expectations, that require lies and deception. Assurances of continuity that were never real, security blankets of smoke and mirrors. Chasing fictions, giving self over cults of personality, no matter the guise they were secular, or religious.  In my rejection of temporal not as insignificant, but acknowledged as being transitory, as well as subjective. I have seemingly rejected self, this is fairly close, I have labeled any conception of self as dependent on the experience desired.  So the self becomes a delusional extension of space/time/energy itself. As if creation itself has developed multiple personality disorder, which if all things are one, might not as far an explanation as any other.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

Personal, Transpersonal. Inside, Outside

         How I see creation is for most a bit odd, even people I interact with on a regular basis would likely say label as marching to my own drummer.  For me, creation, god, whatever label works for you, is interactive, it comes to you as your able to accept. As direct, or indirect, you are it's only concern, and you do not matter at all. You and it form a seamless whole, nothing of you is ever lost, though what form that takes is constantly changing.  Wrapped up in this perceptual modal is complete trust in creation, though the delusional nature of self is another matter.  The experience of reality becomes one of constant guidance, one where the odd connections that only have meaning to you jump out, with regularity. Revealing patterns of development, portions of self forgotten or discarded for whatever reason pop into view.  It is this idea I think of as personal/transpersonal the space where every person, everything, is or contains a message meant only for you, that only you will see from your unique place.  The world essentially beings to scream your name, beckoning you on to some greater future, as if everyone in the world is just waiting for you.  Often called a messianic complex, for good reason.  The sense of personal well being is profound, all of creation is seemingly conspiring to ensure your experience is wonderful. Cosmic tumblers seemingly align, allowing you to dance right on through life. In the positive a person takes on roles of service, and moves into what has been called bliss, nirvana, many names. It can also lead to extremely antisocial acts of violence and lashing out.  When all of creation is giving information, some are unable to maintain a distance between self, other, message, messenger.  The ego identification takes on mythic proportions, the cult of personality eats away, the individual might actually start to believe their own hype so to speak.  The flip side to this of course is to completely discount the needs, or desires of the self, to deny the individual self all together, as just a blur in the smear of humanity through time.
       Are there messages being told just to you?
Of course, you are the central character in your experience.
Those messages are generally of a personal nature,
don't confuse the message, what you take from something
and the messenger, the person, place or thing, that triggered that cascade of bio-electric/bio-chemical events that you experienced.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard
      

Sellout, the American Dream

     Seemingly everyone wants to be rich, and famous, or at least rich.  Who can blame them, the idea translates to access to everything we imagine as part of the good life, of success. Everything we are taught to strive for. Even in a system that was designed to be sustainable, chasing material wealth seems short sighted,  You quickly run into the diminishing returns wall, where your giving up what you started out to gain. So even given a system designed to be a measure of contribution, there would be a point where it would become counter productive.  In our currency, or finance system, it is a very different thing. It is contrived, designed to give the illusion of free market, while masking a back end control. It isn't even about being able to skim, and create money out of nothing, that is just how it's done. It's about being able to retain the influence, ensuring their vision of the future comes to pass. There is something to be said for the idea of a world governing body, I am less than thrilled at cast of characters that have been working to bring it about.  It seems to be a who's who list of how to enslave the masses crowd.
       There is lies my personal issue with being a monetary success in our current system. When the system itself is the cheat, doing well within it, is an endorsement of that system, by default.
People always complain about wanting to make more money, but they don't do anything to actually make money.  When I hear someone say it, I always tell them, become a creditor, you get to make up a product that never exists, you don't even sell it, you loan it, with a nice return.  Your even able to front end your profit, and write off any potential losses. In our system, with money having been made a commodity you literally can make the creation of money you work. It is not a functional system for long, but it does allow for some interesting manipulations. I'm about access, not ownership, equitable distribution, backed by the ideas of shared equity, of leaving things better than you found them, even if it's in small ways.  Stuff becomes a burden, an anchor, or chains. our phantom wealth is just about illusions for the delusional.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

The Law of Thelema

Pretty much anyone who does even a cursory study of the occult teachings will at some point come across Alistair Crowley. The self proclaimed "wickedest man in the world". I don't know about all that, sure he was in to, and became hooked on some substances, performed dubious rituals, and pretty much lived a life of debauchery. There are many conspiracy theories surrounding him, from being grandfather to Barbra Bush, to well frankly everything. In some circles he is said to be responsible for much of what we think of as the shadowy aspects of our current experience.  For me, what he did or did not do, and who he did it with rarely are of import.  I do not concern myself as often with the human, as much as with the ideas they are presenting.  Lets face it, he's just a character from a story, For me I came to his works through the Golden Dawn, having poured through the works of Mathers, and  Waite, Before that Crowley had been a boogy man of sorts. Used in songs, and stories, as a symbol. The beauty contained his words, and imagery for me are always at odds with the depiction of him.  For a short time he was even inadvertently my protector from beyond the grave.  In my mid 20's when I was in major experimental, experiential exploration, A friend and I rented an apartment, the guy's name was Charlie, nice guy. Even sat down to talk "metaphysics" with us. As soon as I mentioned AC as one of my influences, Charlie's demeanor flipped, like he hadn't seen me till that moment, and what he saw was scary.  I find this hysterical, sure I have the potential to be violent, ever thing with choice has that potential. It's that I've never been an aggressive person, and am far from physically imposing. Poor Charlie, we were essentially pirates, or sharks, and he had just cut himself and dangled his wrist in the water.  There was no malice, and no violence, we just realized we would be able to push him past reason, or at least I did. Not sure how much of our rent we skipped out on, at least a few months.   The book of the law, aside from the well known, "love is the law. love under will, do what thou wilt, shall be the whole of the law" has so much interesting prophetic information, trigger words, phrases, a bit like the fire letters of the book of Enoch. There is of course the warnings right in it to not study, likely a wise caution, as only madness lies within, regardless of it's validity.  Once I had logically ripped apart the proclaimed law of the age of Horus, finding it as sound a guide for actions in the world as any. Though horribly misused, and abused, the words twisted up, the spirit evicted. Very much as I see the majority of the world, the information is everywhere, hardly anyone sees it, or takes the time to make sense of it, We are more concerned with the letter of the law, than the spirit. We ask if it's legal, not if it's moral, or appropriate. than we wonder why the world is seemingly in a state of semi controlled chaos.
         In Zoroastrianism arguably one of the origins for monotheistic traditions, on the positive side is a partnership with Ahura Mazda combining the creative, and destructive principals into one, with the choice being in the individual. This is the same ideas repeated in almost every tradition before and after, If it's been laid out in a more simplified version, than Thelema, at least till adherents get hold of it, and talk about it. These are personal relationships with what is, or isn't, and that's the point, No one can tell anyone else what is right for them. Spirit, divinity, demons, fey, whatever comes to each of us, as we are able to accept it, how we are able to accept it.  The experience of it, the relationship to it, is deeply personal, we can share it as we like. Ultimately each of us changes our relationship to what is, while what is, just is.
       The law of Thelma may or may not be a part of the dawning of the new age, if there isn't a new age being spawned every moment. It for sure is a pretty simple guideline, that would keep most people out the worst pitfalls in life. If it doesn't feel like love to you, don't do it, how you understand love is another matter. I'm not a follower or joiner, I'm a loner, hardly ever lonely, but isolated even in a crowed. It suits me, I keep my own counsel even when I'm sharing in others ideas, or delights. If I'm honest I find Crowley interesting as a person, with fascinating perspectives. While feeling he was a child in the notions of wicked, playing, not being wicked. There is a twisted delight in the stripping away of innocence, and what is innocent in the stream of eternity? just another idea to impart meaning, give structure to the void. To stop the screaming long enough to take a breath. An aspect of Thelema with personal significance is that of rejection of the physical world. A fundamental position of being at odds with the experience itself. That is a sentiment I can well get behind, not suicidal, but fucking pissed off. Never feeling this world can be enough, no matter what is a pale comparison to the dissolution of the vast nothing.  That eventually all the phantoms are cast off, the lovers union is perfected and all that remains is the after glow, the release of all tension, all stress, all expectation..  

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Inside Out, Upside Down, Ass Backwards!

       I've always thought of myself as a relatively intelligent person. Even while what was seemingly to me the rest of the world was screaming I was doing bad, or was a loser in this aspect or that. When I was doing things I knew my mother would freak out, and possibly through misplaced sense of attempting to protect me from myself had me in legal entanglements I'd likely still be dealing with. I just hid those things as best I could. Which was not that tough, my relationship with my mother, while I feel is in a good place, many have called a bit distant.  Truth be told, all of my relationships are only so close. I have actively worked to disentangle myself from any relationship that acted as a constriction on the concept of who, or what I am.  No one knows what I am, or for that matter what they are, when I bump up against someone that is insistent on defining me, and has expectations based on them projecting what they think I should be, or should do. I had rejected the motivations, and even the pretenses behind them at a very early age.  Not out of a sense of rebellion, I just like to hang out, listen to music, smoke some herb, and play with ideas.  So far all my life I've insisted I am not more intelligent than anyone else, not that I think of myself as stupid. Quite the contrary, I see myself as capable of doing, learning, and being anything I choose to be. I just understand that everyone else is the same way, People around me have consistently told me, I was smarter than the average bear. This is still a projection, and after a point it doesn't matter if it's true or accurate, or even how I feel about it.  As a person I will do what I can to fulfill the expectations placed upon me by those around me.  Add in mind expanding chemicals taken in quantity as an informal spiritual exploration, personal experimentation. Shake vigorously, and wait.  I still reject much of the fundamental premise of what is thought of as western materialist world view. That view of creation, that consciousness stems from matter, that we are looking for a fundamental particle, a unified field theory equation.  That we are still looking for proof that something continues after what we call physical death,  Zero is a concept, it is no where reflected in what we experience here. The so called vacuum of space, is still a relative state.  The scale of background, of the fabric of we call space/time is so far removed from us in scale it's conceptual. We have no tools that can show, or measure things at Planck scale. We can do so many things, but in our desire to validate our experience as physical beings, we tear at the fabric of creation itself.  Attempting to find a particle that imparts mass is in my understanding about the ultimate fools errand.  Energy equals mass * the speed of light squared, the energy to mater conversion formula. So commonly known, so little considered in implication. Of what this implies about the nature of what we are, and what this shared experience is.  The blessing and curse, of the binary, or ac/dc electric experience.  To find a particle in creation where everything is energy, is a matter of containment. Release the energy, and the mass is imparted with breaking of that containment.  Kind like breaking one layer of the onion into another, or breaking one layer inside a nesting doll.
       My understanding of reality is there is no place where anything starts, and anything stops. In order for me, you, everything to even be having this experience of individuality. We have to be at our core delusional.  That there can ever be self, in a state of singularity, Or that there can be anything that is other. Do not mistake this for some existential crisis, been there done that, I love the delusion, it's a small part of a delicious subtext to what we think of as life, or reality or whatever. There is an understanding that everything external is a representation of something internal. For me this is evident everywhere I focus attention. I dropped out of the world, took a few years, to sever most ties, became a hermit to digest, process and fill in enough blanks in my personal data base, or learn to tune myself to what it was I wished to express.  It is my rejection of my own reality, and in reflection I do not see myself reflected in the world. I've become absent in my own life, a blank canvas. This is also intentional, I am not so overly fond what has been made of paradise.  As much as I enjoy so many aspects, the beauty, the polarity, the spin, the game. Being able to alter experience through just thought, and through influence alter others experience, and have everyone insist they made free will choices is amazing, and disturbing.  I am at core a generous person, often taken advantage of with my eyes wide open, just because I wanted to give the person a chance to make a different choice.  So while those around me try and get theirs, I try to give mine away, to anyone that will take it. When I reject money, it's not the concept of currency, or the tracking of resources I am in opposition to. I have an issue with a system intentionally designed to be scam, to implode due to structural features, called such as there is no chance they were accidental.  I am all for the ideas of equity, value added, open source. Where investment is rewarded, risk is real, not offloaded immediately, or hedged against. Our systems of global trade settlement with the dollar as it's backbone are in essence a cheat a scam, a ponzi scheme. I spent much effort on being as little a part of this system as I could, to where my expenses are pretty minimalist. Not that I do not enjoy the finer things, it's the strings that come attached to every dollhair spent on those trappings is my endorsement of that system.
         I'm a fucked up mass of contradictions, that often make sense only to me, I'm ok with that

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

The Wheels on the World Go Round

           When I was born the world was spinning, when I was conceived it was spinning. When every human heart, at least as we think of it, has stopped beating the world will just keep on spinning.  While many have pointed out, the planet we exist upon like parasites, and claim as a birthright, which when you think of it is kinda like claiming rights to the flesh of your parent. A bit sick and twisted I know, that is my point.  The degree to which we have become disconnected from nature is staggering.  We have decided we are the pinnacle of evolution, in many ways our maturation as a species, our ability not to subdue, or destroy. Our ability to adapt, to encompass, and allow space for, where we finally get the point, that often doing nothing, and being observant is the answer.  That in allowing the world around you to guide you to the win/win.
         I live in Sedona Arizona, beautiful tourist area, also new age mecca, that is kinda cool, kinda not.  It for sure is a highly charged place, as much to do with the geology, high iron oxide heightening the effect. Another aspect is this area has traditionally been a ceremonial space, people didn't really live here till recently.  For most of my time in the Verde Valley, I stayed to the edges, not in Sedona itself.  For me I happen to agree with the elders, this place is a place of vision questing, and finding connection with self, and spirit.  For the past three or so years I've been living on one of the oldest inhabited spots in West Sedona, the views from this spot are amazing.  The property has original red rock out buildings, and red rock patio, and grill built in.  The plot I'm on has at it's peak a cistern, it's all sealed up now, but I go up there sometimes just to think.  When I was up there, I started looking at the property as whole, In my mind I started to see with the cistern functional, and being allowed to flow water through the property, guided through alcoves, ya know nicely landscape with plenty of places to relax and like.  In among these spots would be bridges, and water wheels. The water wheels would power the system as well as provide extra. combined with some solar, and thermal this place is an energy provider to the local area.  The property behind this one, which is also part of a larger plot, that was sub divided for use, and has had the lease situation just change, was a sand and gravel place. It's been dug up and filled so many times.  I noticed they had brought in a bunch of shipping containers, and poof, bury them as part of the down slope, use them as the frame work for a little underground bread and breakfast type place, as well as housing some of the power generation systems that would be best shielded.  This would make this spot lovely again, it's been allowed to decay.  This was about 5 min drift in my minds eye while I was watching a hawk or falcon circle, it kinda shifted my own minds eye view, to see it almost like a localized topography map in my mind.
    I'm not saying that is The answer for this property, just one that for me strikes that balance, it remains productive, might even be considered more so, as well as gets a face lift in the direction of it's natural state.
If we slow down we might not have so many accidents, besides where do we think we are going?

Jack
aka
PanseyBard    

Warden Cliff explained, Power Generation made simple.

      There are several posts rattling around me, when they stack up like this, they become insistent to be recorded. Almost as if they have concerns with being forgotten, an odd notion when applied to ideas.  So because of that, they are going to come out raw, as they are coming to me, in the flow of moment. The idea speaking through me as it is able to, so that it is reflected as to how I understand it, not a certain limitation of, or insistence on completeness, or even that I am right.
     Many know of the Name Tesla, at least a bit, perhaps even having heard of a Tesla coil. While I have entertained great ideas using coils and the like to set up effective perpetual motion, with no violation of entropy.  The key in that being effective, if the earth stops spinning, we either die, or won't be here in our current form.  While this toroidal shapes, are great, they make complex what is one of the simplest things possible. Giving shape, to create a pathway to guide flow of substance. In other words, create a differential in energy potential, and than exploit it. Or recognize where, and when those already occur, and place your self to take advantage of them.
     The earth is a giant electric dynamo, a huge electric motor, with the creation of electromagnetic fields that go along.  We exist within and between these fields, they have been called many things, from dragon lines, to lay lines, to the meridians of the earth. The names change, the name of the study of them changes. There is an above, and below aspect, with one grid being roughly 60 feet above the earth, and one 60 feet below.  What Tesla was up to, was exploiting this, he put collectors, than created the path of least resistance, to a point on the earths surface. Setting up essentially an huge ac capacitor. This would fire on it's own timing, once you have this you can change the frequency. He was pumping it into the ground, to piggy back on the Schumann resonance in order to provide free electricity for anyone, anywhere, with just sticking a stake into the ground, using what is needed, and grounding the excess back into the earth.  There is much more information on this particular subject, but for me, the important part is the understanding of creating essentially a pressure difference, and exploiting it for power generation.  With the rise of slow release capacitors, it is now possible to take the flash of solar energy at sunrise, and set, where our panels are normally getting over charged with lots of waste. Quick charge the slow release capacitors, and slowly use that charge through the day, or night to steadily charge the system.
    I have a few projects of what is through of as free energy generation, though it's really just self energy generation, which has become frowned upon in the US.

off for now
Jack
aka
PanseyBard