Labels, we all seem to love to identify, classify, organize, like collectively we are OCD. We make all sorts of systems to enable us to make connections, to make sure everything is as it should be. Should is of course a key word, as it points to a trap of perspective. We look out on the world seemingly from a point of isolation, we categorize, included, or exclude based on a framework we rarely if ever question. The very notion we are human is a boarder, a boundary, it isolates us from feeling a sense of connection to the world we inhabit. As we have self identified as being different, or other, we have become exactly that. If I am Jack, and you are not Jack, there is no choice for me but treat you as less important than Jack. When self is identified as merely a differentiated portion of a greater tapestry, a thread in a fabric the universe, multiverse, god, whatever label works for you. At this point, other becomes self, self becomes other, with the juxtaposition being merely a trick of perception. As all of our experience is a trick of perception. from our senses being equivalent to input/output devices. These are all finely tuned to pick up certain frequency ranges, we are than given the framework to make sense, everything around us informs us of what it is, much like a function call in object oriented programming. We in turn broadcast what we are, and what we expect everything else to be.
In some teachings of what has been called the fall. When the angels we driven from heaven, where they were driven to was the abyss, the chaos or all potential. Kinda what we think of as space, that perfect balance on the Planck scale that we witness as empty. Into this nothing, the hierarchy of angels imposed order, bringing into form worlds for themselves to inhabit. Our world is just one of many, The impressing of form on formless is a recurring theme in every tradition, crossing into fundamentals of physics. At the core these are attempting to explain what is essentially a tendency, much like the morphogenic fields expressed in the ideas of Sheldrake. Does this mean we can make up whatever want, mold, and shape as we see fit. In a way yes, in other ways no, it sets up a feedback loop. Where we are created, and creator, our own acceptance of there being other gives the other the power to imprint their conception of us, and how we exist in relation to their conception of self. As we see the world is how the world presents itself to us, as we are incapable of seeing in any other way.
We make it up as we go along, and cling to it like it's our life raft, some to the point of violent reaction to anything that might alter a world view. We seem to continually look for an out, a way to keep our self importance, our place as the center of all creation, I am the center of my own universe, in that way I am the center of all things, everything radiates out from me, I shape by, and in return am shaped by all things. I've often said I am as I am because no one else was willing to be me, an odd notion, but not far from the truth. The people around me push me into being portions of self they know exist but are unwilling to express for themselves, for what ever reason. It does not make me anything of these things, except in relation to that which perceives me as such. What the I is that seems to lurk in, around and through me, you and everything. Well that you have to come to on your own, in your own way. My way is very personal, tied to metaphor, and the logic of chaos, coupled to life long exposure to the logic externalized, to become cold, crunching big data in quantum environment where space/time/energy functions of each other. Be aware, or be awareness itself, devoid of attachment to that observed. The world becomes a much different place.
I've always thought of myself as a relatively intelligent person. Even while what was seemingly to me the rest of the world was screaming I was doing bad, or was a loser in this aspect or that. When I was doing things I knew my mother would freak out, and possibly through misplaced sense of attempting to protect me from myself had me in legal entanglements I'd likely still be dealing with. I just hid those things as best I could. Which was not that tough, my relationship with my mother, while I feel is in a good place, many have called a bit distant. Truth be told, all of my relationships are only so close. I have actively worked to disentangle myself from any relationship that acted as a constriction on the concept of who, or what I am. No one knows what I am, or for that matter what they are, when I bump up against someone that is insistent on defining me, and has expectations based on them projecting what they think I should be, or should do. I had rejected the motivations, and even the pretenses behind them at a very early age. Not out of a sense of rebellion, I just like to hang out, listen to music, smoke some herb, and play with ideas. So far all my life I've insisted I am not more intelligent than anyone else, not that I think of myself as stupid. Quite the contrary, I see myself as capable of doing, learning, and being anything I choose to be. I just understand that everyone else is the same way, People around me have consistently told me, I was smarter than the average bear. This is still a projection, and after a point it doesn't matter if it's true or accurate, or even how I feel about it. As a person I will do what I can to fulfill the expectations placed upon me by those around me. Add in mind expanding chemicals taken in quantity as an informal spiritual exploration, personal experimentation. Shake vigorously, and wait. I still reject much of the fundamental premise of what is thought of as western materialist world view. That view of creation, that consciousness stems from matter, that we are looking for a fundamental particle, a unified field theory equation. That we are still looking for proof that something continues after what we call physical death, Zero is a concept, it is no where reflected in what we experience here. The so called vacuum of space, is still a relative state. The scale of background, of the fabric of we call space/time is so far removed from us in scale it's conceptual. We have no tools that can show, or measure things at Planck scale. We can do so many things, but in our desire to validate our experience as physical beings, we tear at the fabric of creation itself. Attempting to find a particle that imparts mass is in my understanding about the ultimate fools errand. Energy equals mass * the speed of light squared, the energy to mater conversion formula. So commonly known, so little considered in implication. Of what this implies about the nature of what we are, and what this shared experience is. The blessing and curse, of the binary, or ac/dc electric experience. To find a particle in creation where everything is energy, is a matter of containment. Release the energy, and the mass is imparted with breaking of that containment. Kind like breaking one layer of the onion into another, or breaking one layer inside a nesting doll.
My understanding of reality is there is no place where anything starts, and anything stops. In order for me, you, everything to even be having this experience of individuality. We have to be at our core delusional. That there can ever be self, in a state of singularity, Or that there can be anything that is other. Do not mistake this for some existential crisis, been there done that, I love the delusion, it's a small part of a delicious subtext to what we think of as life, or reality or whatever. There is an understanding that everything external is a representation of something internal. For me this is evident everywhere I focus attention. I dropped out of the world, took a few years, to sever most ties, became a hermit to digest, process and fill in enough blanks in my personal data base, or learn to tune myself to what it was I wished to express. It is my rejection of my own reality, and in reflection I do not see myself reflected in the world. I've become absent in my own life, a blank canvas. This is also intentional, I am not so overly fond what has been made of paradise. As much as I enjoy so many aspects, the beauty, the polarity, the spin, the game. Being able to alter experience through just thought, and through influence alter others experience, and have everyone insist they made free will choices is amazing, and disturbing. I am at core a generous person, often taken advantage of with my eyes wide open, just because I wanted to give the person a chance to make a different choice. So while those around me try and get theirs, I try to give mine away, to anyone that will take it. When I reject money, it's not the concept of currency, or the tracking of resources I am in opposition to. I have an issue with a system intentionally designed to be scam, to implode due to structural features, called such as there is no chance they were accidental. I am all for the ideas of equity, value added, open source. Where investment is rewarded, risk is real, not offloaded immediately, or hedged against. Our systems of global trade settlement with the dollar as it's backbone are in essence a cheat a scam, a ponzi scheme. I spent much effort on being as little a part of this system as I could, to where my expenses are pretty minimalist. Not that I do not enjoy the finer things, it's the strings that come attached to every dollhair spent on those trappings is my endorsement of that system.
I'm a fucked up mass of contradictions, that often make sense only to me, I'm ok with that
In an attempt to share more of me, rather than the concepts I entertain. Today I'm going to cover some common misconceptions I've noticed people have about me.
I am not as nice a person as people seem to think I am. When I've had jobs they have been mostly service type, even when working freelance, it's been tech work, and consulting. It's not that I am any nicer or any less nice than anyone else. I'm fulfilling the role you encountered me in, as long as you do not step outside your role in relation to me, everything is hunky dory. Step out of the boundaries laid out by the nature of our encounter, and I will tell you to go fuck yourself.
I do not care about material existence, This one is almost true, though so far off base, as to be laughable. There is no matter for my to be concerned with, things exist multi-dimensionally, and they are physical unto their own realm of expression. kinda how solids interact with solids, or liquids interact with liquids. With all of it subject to relative motions, and energy/matter conversion.
My use of the appellation PanseyBard is some how indicative of sexual orientation. This was an e-mail I registered to use with a character created in Everquest. The characters name was/is, Nuviel, picked from the words novus, and el. A mixing of languages, meaning new god. That character was a 5 year span of playing 40+ hours a week. It became a consuming addiction to being somewhere other than I found my physical being. That character became one of the top Bards in the game, spending much of it's time on a server called legends, a special ruleset server, for those who wanted more out of the game. I am a heterosexual male, even when I imagine myself in a sexual encounter with a male, it is an odd feeling of not being true to self.
That social media is important to me. This one cracks me up, From my perspective most social media has become marketing tools. I am not fond of marketing, as I feel good ideas have no need to be sold. Before I ever began to use social media, I had a plan, and understood it as tool in that plan, not the ends in itself. Twitter is a prime example, I have 4 accounts, not that I wanted 4 accounts, was happy with one. Only I was growing the account faster than twitter identifies as the norm, When an account was suspended for playing the f4f game the twitter promo groups have going. I made another in order to figure out what I was doing wrong and right given the venue, and goals I had in mind. When I got the 3rd account suspended in under 3 hours for getting to many followers to quickly, or what they call aggressive following tactics I started to get a handle on the automatic systems in twitter. What the groups were about, and why I seemingly did not fit in. I backed almost completely off social media for a few years, Mostly due to being shoved out, seemingly due to not being willing to click the buttons for cash. Again, I never cared about twitter, it was about exposure.
A small group was reading my blog regularly, and felt many of the ideas had merit, so I was looking to reach out an allow others into my madness.
The 4th account was for play, and fun solely, as it's pretty much only for pornstars, cam girls, strippers, ya know, the bad girls we all wish would take us home, or come home with us, even if it's only for the night or weekend.
That I am an arrogant know it all bastard! ok that one is often true. It is something I work on daily to be as accepting of my own foibles as I am of others. Oddly it's that I do not feel I know anything, and am open to any spirit that has the answer showing it to me, or speaking through me to deliver it that sets up this oddity.
That I wish to be a star, I am already a rock star, always have been. Do not look for me in your deck of cards, I am not now, nor have I ever been in there. Unless your seeing me in every card. Wanna go quantum? how about for a magic ride into the nethersphere, or the spaces between spaces. I can be that lens for you to find your connection. I am not it, only the clear lens that allows you to see you.
I do not love you
I do not hate you
I do not know you
I was told my whole life the choices I made were bad, or wrong, and it took me till now, to finally get back to the self I lost in the love of women, and the programmed ideas of family, and personal development. What I am left with for the masses, is a big fuck you. If you do not like my words do not read them. If you find me offensive at times, that is likely the response I was going for.
Yes I am so whacked out, I often program people real time, think you have freewill, come for a visit, and I will show you the error of your perception. Think the world is flat, or solid, or round, or God is this or that, those are labels, made by, and for humans.
Who am I, What am I?,
How about Where am I, When am I
I am what I desire to be, the identity labels foisted upon are not me.
Think a free person can be a citizen?
Free people owe no allegiance to anyone other than self.
Citizens owe allegiance to the state they are citizens of.
You do the math
PanseyBard.... Pan say, Bard get it?
aka Jack
be the Lorax, and can someone please find that statue, and take it back where it belongs
A couple of days ago, I hacked together an entertainment setup, from an old tube tv, a 3d blu-ray player with internet apps, and a directv remote I found to control it all. I plan on adding in a digital to analog converter box, and a homemade powered antenna, as the resources to do so become available. I began playing movies I hadn't seen since for at least 20 years or so, The great rock'n'roll swindle, and Tommy were among my selections for that first day's use. Tommy in particular stood as having been completely misunderstood by myself, and seemingly most of the people I know who have watched it. With the majority labeling dismissively as a rock opera, with little meaning beyond the entertainment value. Having come to the realization that entertainment has never been about enjoyment per se, but more about passing on cultural understanding and wisdom passed through the ages. I was still in for a disconcerting surprise upon watching Tommy from my current perspective. What I was not prepared for was, the dramatization of what myself and others have experienced in our everyday lives. The movie itself is an adaptation of the initiation rituals of the mystery traditions, skewed toward the inclusion of LSD as a catalyzing agent.
Having first being exposed to Tommy as a child, pretty sure it was 3rd grade. It's message was lost on my, the effect of the movie for me than was one of feeling protective of those who were unable to protect themselves. This was personified in a brief scene where a lovely girl is about to be shot, and Tommy shows up to alter the encounter just through his presence. At the time, this was so profound for me that I had nightmares about it. Nightmares are rare for me, and generally only occur when death is near me. In that instance the death I was feeling was that of a babysitter, not mine, I did not need a sitter generally, and was offended when one was foisted on me. Not being a fan of watching people die, and the effects it has on those who are left behind. My mother and I had moved out, in short order Stephanie, came home from school to find her sitter strangled. Likely if I had still been there I would have been with her, as we walked to and from school together. This affinity for feeling the presence of death, yet not having to witness it's effects directly continues as a theme in my life. Almost a meet Joe Black kinda vibe, not that I equate myself with death, just that death is not my enemy, but a friend that accompanies me on my journey. Always ready to send me home if I become to distant from my core self.
Watching it as I am now, was an entirely different experience, having lived the initiation being shown, and having taken it from a 3 that become one to a 7, and 13 that become one. I was struck almost dumb, as before my eyes, the basic blueprint for my existence was on display, In the film we watch as Tommy goes from a child, bewildered and overloaded by the new sensory data bombarding him, putting him the state of the deaf, dumb, and blind, or in other words, seen no evil, speak no evil, and hear no evil. During this portion Tommy is repeatedly abused, though the abuse is lost oh him, he is unaware of the meaning behind the events he subjected to. Than we get to a point where he is taken to Gypsy the Acid queen, played by Tina Turner. In the movie it is portrayed as a sexual encounter. Which if you've ever experienced psychoactive chemicals the experience is so intimate, and the movie was made at the end of the free love hippy movement, that the representation is to be expected. When the LSD experiences have cleared the pathways, the fog lifts, and we are introduced to a fully realized Tommy. Who proceeds to go out into the world, and help everyone else become as he is, without having to go through the trauma that he endured.
Don't start tripping, and project delusions of grandeur, those are your hang ups not mine. When I first opened up in the late 90's, someone I thought of as a friend devastated me by stating he felt I was on the way to becoming a cult leader. Odd from my perspective, as I am appalled by the idea anyone would desire to follow in my footsteps, and when I related my personal journey. It is always with the idea my life is not to be emulated, but seen as a cautionary tale. How I got from my conception to the fictional character I am today is not comfortable, or even desired. It is simply what it took for me, what it will take for you is up to you. When during my last LSD experience I received a message, that if I continued to take it, it would become detrimental, I stopped. Within a couple of years I had also stopped smoking Mary Jane as well. What followed was a 10 year or so switch. Where I became acutely aware of the negative cultural view on my life. This was completely at odds with how people interacted with me on a personal basis. Where almost everyone viewed me as being a well adjusted healthy individual. Not only was "drug" use condemned, my entire childhood was outlawed, as being unfit. Naturally I accepted the judgment of those who presumably had more experience and wisdom than I. This too was a part of the initiation, the moving into darkness, and through a death like experience where the world shuns, and is shunned in return. That is the ego death, where we accept the world, and everyone in it will keep on spinning regardless of our presence. I must say I was ready and desirous of death, not suicidal, just not so in love with life, or self anymore. The I in me longs for nothing, other than dissolution of self, resolution of the conflict inherent in the structure of what we consider "reality". dailymotion tommy-1975-film-pt-1_music dailymotion tommy-1975-film-pt-2_music
This has been the age old question, to conquer the end. We all face it, we all find our own answers, and we think we have it all figured out. When your world is black and white, or written in binary this might satisfy. Like everything else we are, this is just a holdover from previous developmental cycles. These go back not to when we had words for me to write this down, but back to primordial ooze of single celled organisms. The universe or God, or as it's coalescing into my essence as panversal is in and of itself conscious, it is structured energy, which is what everything is. Information processing. As every would be sage, poet, musician, blade of grass, and grain of sand has been telling us forever. This is a love story, this is a passion play, the stories do not even change, they get rebranded, updated, but for at least the last 6 thousand years we have all learned variations of these same stories. Oh the names change, characters get makeovers, and costume changes, But from the Chinese dragon emperor's, to the Dogon's of the Sahara, the Aboriginals of Australia, down the lines it goes, not in one place but in them all. We came from the stars, that concept has been twisted around to mean so many things to so many people, from the ubermensch of the aldebaran to Pharaonic gods of Egypt, Right on back to the what we are told is our earliest civilizations in Sumer, and I'm not here to today argue that point. I do not care when, or where, or actually even who. I'm a big picture person, I do really well at taking a dispassionate stance and getting as wide a view as possible calling it like I see it. A valuable skill if you can find work for it, most of my friends just say I think to much, and they are sometimes right. In taking that position expansive view point, the patterns just kinda pop out, like the rivers in this text if you let your eyes unfocus, and just like that, the information you get from the text is not the same, and that view is not even on whole thought of as particularly useful. The people are interested in the words, not the rivers, so I learned to see the words like everyone else around me did, only they didn't seem to say the same thing to me as to everyone else. As a matter of fact they said the same as the rivers, and they were almost all saying the same things. Even when they seemed disjointed, or unrelated the same words were always there.
From the ecstatic altered state inducing dances of the Whirling Dervishes, or Tantric sex practices, Yoga, and Breathing techniques, in joyous upliftment of the celebration of life. On down into the depths of despair, and tragedy, and depravity. They all contain at there core I am alive, I am here, shouting into the darkness, longing for or hoping against that return response. I'm here I see you! This is the most wonderfully terrifying moment for all of us, and in our polarized, 2 dimensional world view of dark versus light we have left room for only 2 options. Some say it's love/hate, some fight/flight, it doesn't matter what the choices are labeled as, the important part is the limiting of choice. It's the offer of false simplicity, and simple is easy, and comforting, even at it's worst it's at least predictable. I mean if I only have 2 choices, there is always a 50% chance I'm right. This is very useful in long term evolution of life. Kill or be killed is valid for much of what we think of as life. The response of nature is always the same, no matter the method used to carry it out, the answer for nature is always, I want to survive. The fox is in hen house to eat to survive, and we made it nice lunch box, and then killed it when it came to collect the meals we so kindly laid out for it. We penned in the range animals, and kept all the goodness of their flesh to ourselves. We killed the wolves not because they ate people, like dogs around the food bowl we chased off our rivals. This existential crisis of just the struggle to survive molded us and shaped us into the most successful predator on the planet bar none. That being on the top of the food chain looking down on all the lesser species is pretty nice spot, it's good to be the king no doubt. Being at the top, and staying at the top are not the same, and getting to top means your not what you were when you started. We celebrate our predatory nature everywhere, from world wars to gold diggers, from pirates to emperors. The monuments to our depravity know no bounds, from triumphal arches to tombs we proclaim our divine heritage of immortality. All in the confused attempt to be remembered, to live on, to proclaim our own mastery over all we survey. This is where our delusions of grandeur really kick in, We start to believe our own hype, and our success translates into leisure time as we have come to call it. This is the true mark of a successful predator, how little time they spend on survival. For those fortunate few at the top of the food chain, it's everywhere, this new found leisure time allows for reflection. Not just to plan the next meal, but more abstract, things not so immediate in the world currently inhabited find the space to become known. A shift starts to occur, to manage your food, because lets face it, your not as young as you were last year, and well how many times can you chase a rabbit till the thrill gets old. So we take the tasty stuff, and shape it, bend it to our will, protect it from those who would take it, you know normal human stuff. At this point we already won, we have no natural predator to contend with, nothing to keep our expansion in check. As predators though we are ever vigilant, lest some scavenger steal our kill, if we lack a predator we make one up, when we run out decent prey, we move on looking for new places to hunt. With nothing else left to do we even hunt each other, oh we give it all sorts of reasons, but it always come down to the 2 choices we decided were the only ones we have. We do it because we want what they have, or we are afraid they will take whats ours. Having nothing else to contend with, having effectively already won the struggle for day to day survival, ensuring our genetic heritage is continued. We have time to place ourselves in the cosmic fun house, and the picture is as majestic as it horrifying. This is when we begin to get that glimpse of our next existential crisis. Having conquered death in an immediate fashion, it becomes a personal struggle, the, but what about me's kick in. We know our blood will be flowing and pumping even if it's through anothers veins, but still it isn't enough. The I is screaming in terror, what happens to me, I did all this work to get here, and I'm still going to die. After fighting death for so long, we begin a new battle, now we are after time. How many years can you cling to life becomes the new game, and being predators we play it with gusto. In the time game anything not you becomes a greater threat the longer it hangs around, just like an infection setting in, or how food rots, we start to learn with profound shock, if your not living, your dying. Or a bit more accurately, when you stop growing, you start dying, even closer, if your not expanding your contracting. This of course is still only a 2 choice idea, it's still locks us into an illusion of choice. If the battle is life and death, and answer shouted by everything is always life how do we reconcile this dichotomy. How can we celebrate the victor in the arena when he dripping in the blood, sweat, and feces of his opponent. How do we tell our children, that it's not ok to hurt others, and when we decide they are no longer children shove a gun in their hand and tell them to kill their neighbor, or be killed. No death is not our boogeyman any more, we coax, and torture nature to provide not what we need, or even what we reasonably desire. We squeeze the golden goose till it bleeds gold, till it's lushest oziest parts are dripping down our chin, staining our silk tie, cotton shirt, lizard skin belt, leather pants, and fur trimmed alligator boots till we puke. We squeeze the last drop, fish the oceans dry, not out of need, for our needs are modest, we do it because we have been offered no other options. Consume, or be consumed. Once our opponents are long dusty, and our glory is fading we miss the good old simpler days, those we overcame taking on status in the telling of our own stories. Yes we carry our demons with us, and with every passing year they become larger, and our deeds in over coming them more heroic. We Proclaim it to all Money doesn't grow on trees you know, and the giving tree withers it's leaves stripped bear, it's bark yanked free, it's flesh made pulp and reconstituted so we can make some pretty pictures on it, and call it ours. I don't hate money, money is an idea, and in the realm of ideas I swim with the sharks. I've been exposed to the trivium, and quadrivium, pi, phi, and even the Harris curve, our newest choice of curves, a new path to follow, a new star before our eyes. We build our temples to our creators, where babies cries are shunned. We rip our ugly growths from our own flesh, and call it cancer, and deny it's attachment to our emotions. Oh make no mistake we have damned ourselves for sure, for in our process of becoming, we have to live with what we've done. This is our state of terror, our splash of liquid light, our stairway to heaven, and highway to hell. Dharma, Karma, Sin, our triplets of story, our mistresses of fate. Weighing our heart against perfection, the living can not pass, for the living sit in judgment, while the dead just watch it pass. The living write the story down, building, destroying, crafting. Deluding themselves all the while, with pretty little dreams, of I can do no harm. We label ourselves dogs, and wolves, black widows, snakes, bears and list goes on and on, than we wonder why we kill. Our own sophistication has become our trap de jour, and I'm crazy enough to be handing out peter pan advice. In our marvel of our own magnificence our march to greater contrast, our rush to ever bigger, bolder, badder. We circle our wagons, lock down the prison, close the bathroom door, all because we can't stand the smell of our own shit. I've been eating shit my whole life, there is no possible way for me to deny it, I gave my top teeth eating the shit put in front of me, oh it's lies were so sweet. The numbing of the mind, of the soul, of the heart, that sweet oblivion of nothingness to take away the anguish of being a pimp or ho. I'm so tired of eating shit for being me, for seeing things I see, I will always chose my truth over your lies, I have to, it's the only way I can live, and die with myself.
Life eats Life, it's all there is, when you make it all one, we end up eating our own shit, you might think me mad, and that is fine we are all mad here, that is not in question. The question we are asking is can we live with ourselves, for eating ourselves. Meat is Murder, and it's all sucking off someone elses tit, we all know these things, they are not new or novel. Don't believe me, well take a look at these. shit burger it doesn't even matter if it's a hoax, or fact, that it's there. That we have become so pained by where meat comes from that people have even contemplated this rings alarm bells. If thats not your speed how about this.
That is adorable little girl is Taylor Momsen, in the Grinch, many of you know here from a tv show she did that I don't recall. Some know now, as the lead singer of The Pretty Reckless. For much of America she grew up on their tv screens, I missed that part as I was absorbing myself in other worlds to escape the pain of lying in my bed. While I was distracted by the glitter of the lights in the distance, She went from singing
Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores Welcome Christmas Come this way Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores Welcome Christmas, Christmas day Welcome, welcome fahoo ramus Welcome, welcome dahoo damus Christmas day is in our grasp, So long as we have hands to clasp
To a lovely young woman who's words I hear on many lips, from many tongues. Thank you Ms. Momsen, while I do not really do the fan thing, I see you, and your beautiful to me. This is the price of our denial of nature, this bitter pill is our salvation. In our death spiral of guilt, over all our perceived failures, our pitfalls of loss, we finally give up the ghost. Not because we have to die, because we no longer can take the pain of being alive, and what we have to do to stay that way.
The world devours it's young, Because we like sweets, and babies taste best. It doesn't matter how twisted the appetite. The old say youth is wasted on the young, while the young scream never trust anyone over 30. The age old struggle, the old lion wants to keep his pride, while the young just wants a piece of tail. The widow ate her suitor after he dropped of his seed, not from grief hatred or malice, she knows he'll eat the young, cuz it's good to be the king, But not when there can only be one.
I love you all, it's just a matter if you can accept the only love I know how give, cuz its a jagged little pill.
listen to the music, not just the beat, pay attention to the story, it's your soul speaking
I'd like to thank Eminem and Rihanna for the inspiration for this post. First off I've never been much of an Eminem, and my favorite Rihanna work is Shy Ronnie. It's not a matter of not recognizing the talent, just hasn't been something that attracted my attention. The video for the song Monster grabbed me. If you haven't seen it check it out. On the surface it's good flow, and beat, and hook, and everyone in the video is
right on it. Then I started to hear the words, and a few possible meanings based on my own twisted mind started to fill in where the actual lyrics of the song leave off. Lets face it everyone has their own definition for every word, multiple definitions for many, nuanced by usage, emotional flavor, timing in delivery. Now I know these definitions are a product of my own devising, and I have no clue what is really intended by the artists, and it doesn't matter. The experience I have in watching, or listening is mine. So what did I see? well if you didn't ask that question, I guess you might as well stop reading now. If you still with I'll play in my silly mind for a bit, and maybe entertain you some.
I'm digging the whole imagery of being analyzed, though the lyrics don't really quite match up. The video gives the impression of someone getting "help". The lyrics though are of someone who has come to terms with the monster lurking in their own psyche. This zips me right along a thought train to the mystery traditions to know thyself. I like this kind of connection so it draws my attention in a bit farther, allowing some less apparent or less likely depending on your perspective to form in this chaos of I. I'm a fan of conspiracy theories, they are fun for me. If the world we see on the surface is all there is, this is a pretty sorry place, so I kinda need that idea that just maybe things are not what they seem at all. Making a link from this video to popular conspiracy was a piece of cake. A simple Search of Illuminati and the music industry is all it takes, now as I said those are fun for me, so that connection was made in my head pretty quickly. It started when the idea that it's external to what Eminem views as self, the lyrics talk of the monster being not within, but under the bed, something external, and voices while in the head are heard. A labeling that leads to the idea of being distinct from. Even the the line of being a messenger, and the shift in vocal quality are used to denote an external entity, something that is very different from what we see. A possession of sorts, of something that is not to be controlled only befriended, and understood.
As I said, I claim no inside knowledge, I'm not even saying I hold the view I just expressed, it was just a little show of whats rattling around in this thing I call a mind. So please don't go off thinking I'm saying this is satanic ritual, or expression, cuz frankly I don't know, and even if I did I'm not sure I'd be overly concerned. So once again thanks to Eminem, and Rihanna for some entertaining inspiration.
