My Words are Poison

          I do not matter. What I think does not matter.  I am not an example to held before others. I am profane, do not look upon me with pity or revulsion. Do not look to me for guidance, I will led you astray.  If or when my thoughts become mainstream I am already gone into some grey area. I am a pirate, the constraints placed on me by others are only taken on in a superficial manor.  Ready to be cast off the moment it no longer serves me.  I have no earthly authority, I do defer to others when appropriate to do so, but I maintain final say in all things me.  I do not believe in unconditional love as a physical reality, I do not see it possible without the loss of sovereignty.   Broaching no master, I am no ronin.

 I will bear no weight that is not of my own choosing, do not saddle me with your desires.  Take precautions in what you share with me, your every breath, each heartbeat radiates your soul. Your beauty, and beast plainly clear in your every glance.  Do not show me your sore spots I will poke them, sometimes for fun, others for profit. You have no rights with me.  Your rights begin where I end, I will violate you.  You will ask me to do so, despite my protests you will beg to be subsumed, eagerly giving up your self in the desire to be saved.  I am no savior, I am no demon, I am all saviors, and all demons.  I live for your destruction, and smile as you destroy me.  As soon as you think you have me defined I will break your misconceptions, bursting through to the boundaries not of my own making.
        I love you in the abstract, and care no what happens to you as a person.  You are the light, you are the way, shine it for all to see.  Be the beacon of hope in the darkness, I am among the sharks.  The waters fine, enter at your own risk, for here there be dragons. You go be the light, I'll be here in the shadows waiting, and when your exhausted, and down trodden, maybe I will offer my hand.  Be loves presence in the world, for in the immortal words of a favorite of mine, "Love is the Law".  Oh Aleister what a prankster you are. Teaching in riddle, half truth, and symbol.  Shine your love for all, be the brilliant star you know yourself to be.  Just remember when you shine a light in the dark, you never know what will be attracted.

Life, Laugh, Love. Be yourself. Let GOD worry about the rest. GOD is very good at it.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Tarot, Kabbalah, Personal Development and You Part 2

      In part 1 I went through the tarot as an external tool, to be used to gain insight into things "external" to self.  There is nothing wrong with this use, for me it's not using the tool to it's full potential to instill change in the self.  I tell you this from my heart, if there is something in your life it is there to teach you about you.
This for me is where the tarot shines, the simplicity of it's design allows it to be applied real time as you go through your day.  At first glance this may seem like an external use, looks are often misleading.  Once you are able to identify the roles your playing in the dramas you find around you on a daily basis. You will be able to take an emotional, and mental step back, and decide if these roles are desired in your experience. Or perhaps you have learned the lessons of this particular morality tale, and are ready to change it.  For me this ties into idea of who you think you are?   I laugh at people who grab their birth chart, and proudly proclaim this is who I am.  At best that was the energetic imprinting of the planets at the moment of your birth, it has relevance just like the visible phases of the moon.  I'm sure we get a slight boost of suns rays under a full moon, but I guarantee the tides are holding out their motion for Gravity.  My point is we are dynamic beings, We evolve and grow and change.  When we figure ourselves out we even start to have a say in who we become.  For me using the tarot as a framework of stories I can see in my life, my mind, my heart, that is the true gift of the tarot.
      As the tarot is a story board version of the Tree of Life, the Tree of life is a subset of the Flower of Life.

 This is the full expression of the sacred pattern, from which all form, shape, and substance can be plucked. Every major religion has versions of this symbol. If your proficient at seeing stereograms use the same vision on that image.  More often then not the Flower of Life image people are accustomed to seeing this.

 This does contain all the same information, what changes is the scale. People would like one system to apply to everything, and that is the case.  You just have to be open enough for that system to be larger then you can comprehend at one time.  That is the nature of being multidimensional, being able to see the same "thing" from varying perspectives while still holding on to yours.
        To tie back to the Kabbalah, here is one way the Tree is shown in the flower.

How many D do you wish to be, the choice has always been ours.
How many points are on any given line?
as many or as few as you want.
That being said people will need to come to grips with there are different number base systems for different purposes. Take modern western music system, it's base 7, I know there are 8 notes, the eighth is always the beginning and the end.  More on the base number systems and how/where they apply in the next episode.

As always, this just my take on years of study, meditation and consciousness alteration with intent.
If you don't like my view don't share it, just leave me to it.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

Tarot, Kabbalah, Personal Development and You Part 1

             This is a post that has been clawing it's way through my mind for over twenty years.  In studying the traditions connected to the tarot I've come to see it less as a tool for divination then of personal discovery. That being said, knowing how the cards relate to the system they represent does make that use possible.  So to start this off lets take a look at how the deck is constructed, how this relates to the Tree of Life model of creation, as well as how this can be used to bring a greater clarity and understanding of self.
           

             This image shows the layout of the major arcana on the Tree of Life image.  I show this now to show the first division in the deck. For the purpose of this musing I have pulled out my Rider-Waite tarot deck. This is the standard for English speaking western mystics. I won't go into the history of the organization behind the deck, as the Golden Dawn would be an article on their own. Nor is this even the deck I use most often, truth be told I hardly ever use a tarot deck, or do very many readings.  So lets take our 72 card deck, and pull the 22 major arcana out. For those of you who like the master numbers there is your 2nd 11.  For now lets take a closer look at what these cards represent.  The Tree of Life is a diagram or map showing creation going from the 3 gradations of nothing to the world we see manifest.  Understand this is a micro/macro approach, so when looking at this scale everyone and thing you have known have all physically taken place in the number 10 on the tree, known as Malkuth.  So the major arcana are very much like Jung's archetypes.  These are the main paths that lead between the many mansions in judeo/christian conception of an afterlife.  As such these are generally speaking not personified in our life, they are more akin to aspects of consciousness.  So while you may see aspects of them in the people around you, or yourself, these are concepts that are larger then an individual life. At this point we've gone from a whole deck of 72 which represents the magic of duality, into the duality of 22, and 50 which represents the balance of our own dual natures combined with the strife of the mystery.  Next I'd like ya to take the suit cards, and sort out all the court cards, you should be left with ace through 10 of the four suits. While your holding 40 cards, it actually represents 44 cards as the aces start and finish the numbered cards. there goes the 11, 33, and 44 if you look for them.  The numbered cards like the major arcana are generally not going to be people, these can be likened to natural processes of the elements.  Where Swords is air, and mental, Wands is fire, passion or creativity, Cups is water,  and emotions, Pentacles are earth, and physical.   Once you have that down, and understand what the numbers represent these cards become easy to spot.  The definitions for the numbers are almost everywhere, most people know them even if they don't realize it.  The third part of the deck is of course the court cards, These are the people around you. The other cards are actions, and archetypes being played out through the court cards.  These are known as the 16 hidden paths, they are hidden because they are people in your life.  People are the magic, and the court cards are always who the stories are about. The court cards represent one element behaving as another element, even if that element is itself.
       As always this is my own insane views on my own unique absorption of information. And frankly while I do sometimes throw some cards, I don't really ask questions, just look for guidance.  These ideas are micro/macro kinda of ideas, that tie into a larger pattern of creation of which the tree is a subset. So while these can be applied externally, they may also be applied internally, upside, downside, any which way.

You Can Kiss My Hemispheres, Right Down the Middle!!!

         In a previous post I talked about a personal development tool that jumped out at me from the mystical teachings of many traditions.  Today a little more time will be spent on the idea of left to right balance.  This is interpretation I have either made, or had shared with me in meditations, as well as other altered states of consciousness.  I do not ask for your belief, trust, or any other such nonsense.  As always make up your own mind, do your own research if you don't like the conclusions mine have led me. With the pleasantries out of the way, lets have some fun.
        Many of you have seen this image or another like it

              There is so much in this diagram as it relates to how we function as beings. How the energies of creation flow into, and out of our experience.  Sign posts to show us where we may be a bit off kilter with how we are using, or interacting with creation.  The focus for this post is the central line, and how it relates to the human body.   Almost anyone can see the mirror symmetry in the human body, almost as if you could have been made in halves.  This is a surface distinction part of the design overlay to allow for a multidimensional understanding.  Though the hemispheres appear to be just that, it takes on a slightly different view if you consider that it grew center out.  That central core of nerves running up into the brain stem, unfurling into the reaches of your physicality.  This is what is meant by the idea of being centered left to right. Of being ambidextrous, combining the logic, with the intuition.  Understanding when each in called on to assert dominance.

            There are as many ways to achieve this are there have been magic, mystical, or religious traditions. Each with it's own approach, I've tried many from stereograms, candle meditation, to Bio-feedback with a host of other tricks thrown in.  The purpose of all of these is to teach a reactive animal at the mercies of biochemistry to become master of their kingdom.  It really matters little how you approach it, weather it's juggling, switch stance sports, or with bi-neural beats.  Once your using your apparent halves simultaneously they become the third member of the trinity that was always there, just hidden from the view of the profane.

Jack

aka

PanseyBard  

Spins, Orbits and Time oh MY

      Today I'm gonna go a little nutty on a concept of how we get apparent passage of time.   Understand I start from an idea that we are more likely then not a simulated reality.  So my conception of it is from an idea of how to make that happen in a simulation.  As a being I have my own natural resonance that is contained within the electromagnetic field of the Earth, which is in turn connected into the field of the Sun.  My vibration my data signature whatever you want to call it, is contained within this larger image.  Though from my perspective I am still we all know this is not true.  As most people are aware time/space are measures of distance, or a rate of change. With that understanding there is a quite simple explanation for how, and why we experience a seemingly predictable passage of a quasi thing.
        First is our rotation, In making one rotation, what we have called our standard day. If we were to stand in one spot on the surface for an entire rotation we would have come pretty close give or take to travelling the circumference of the latitude we were on.  That seems like a mouthful, and it was mildly confusing attempting to get the wording close to what I see in my minds eye.  Second is our orbit around the sun. Completing this trip takes roughly 365 of our rotations, so in making a single rotation we have moved roughly 1/365th of the way in our orbit of the Sun. This journey of an orbit we have decided to call a year.  Third cycle is the voyage of the Sun around the center of the Milky Way. This is a very large cycle, called a Galactic year which is estimated to be 225 million of our years.  These 3 motions through time/space/space/time are always happening everyone on the planet is subjected to them. they are a major portion of explaining time.  The other aspect needed is how to differentiate one moment, or one day, one year from the preceding.
       Thankfully for us we have the Moon. Who's dance closer and farther away from it's lover the earth provides just the nice push, and pull to create tides. These tie into both male and female emotional, and physiological cycles of reproduction.
These roll quite nicely into whats been called the procession of  the equinoxes, and the Milankovitch cycles.

The time on your watch is a lie, it measures other clocks.  Even if it's digital.


Jack
aka
PanseyBard     

Who's idea was this Random thing anyway?

        One of my favorite people to learn about has always been Einstein.  He seems such the tragic figure to me, working tirelessly on fundamental questions of existence to the point of only being partially functional here.  There is a quote attributed to him goes something along the lines of "god does not play dice with creation".  This is something that has in the past given me fits, Einstein brilliant enough to give relativity theory, and be instrumental in the bomb. I say the bomb cuz, lets face it once you have that one how many others do you need?  I mean come on the guys name has become a word for smart person.  So of course any halfway intelligent person is gonna use them as a measuring stick.
         Well I always came up short, not on relativity, or energy to matter conversion. I came up short on God. I could not conceive of a "God" that would not just allow for the horrors I saw, but insist on them.  The conception of randomness became a balm for a pain inflicted on my soul by my own creator.  I needed the idea somethings just happened and could not be explained in any meaningful way. Even that stops being randomness when you start to be able to see more and more of the variables.  What is true has always been true. GOD does not play dice with creation, but sure does play with the math.  Even in computers there are no such thing as random numbers, they approximate it.  In the so called "real world" events we tend to call random are anything but. We may or may not understand the totality of an event, that doesn't mean there isn't one.  So when your told you are well loved, and cared for, believe it, or don't.
       For a clearer example of just what I mean, lets take a look at roulette. On the surface this is a sucker game, and I can not deny it is, as a physical game.  Due to so many variables of a physical nature it is almost impossible to predict what numbers will come up next, as well as a skilled croupier will be become proficient enough to influence the outcome intentionally.  That being said take this sucker game into the realm of the almighty 0,1 of the digital verse and blamo suck game becomes potential profit maker.  Once in a place where random is a thing striven for, we can use that with the payouts, and table limits to slowly make steady gains. The idea is very simple, if I bet 1 credit on # 9  and the payout is 36 to 1, then I do not actually lose any money till the 36th spin, as which point instead of 1 credit, you put 2, this gives you an additional 18 spins before you have lost anything.  Of course this is a very simplified version of what I actually set up, as I was starting with the entire game board covered, and would remove them as they hit. Keeping track of the number of spins a current progression had gone, what numbers still needed to be played for the next spin, and how much needed to be bet on each number.  It seems tougher then it is, it's only a few tables to memorize and then keep track of whats hit which the machine does for you, you just take off the last one.  To tie it up, when you start a progression keep track of your credits. If you are over where you started even by a credit or 2, start over.  Believe it or not the first spin of the progression was the best.

Well hope that gives ya pause at least in thinking lol

Jack

A Kid Loose in the Castle

       Today I'm gonna do something a little different. I'm gonna tell a story from my own childhood.  I won't lie and say I can remember all the details, and it would entertaining to hear even snip-its from others who were there. I have lost since lost contact with pretty much everyone, but my own mother involved, and understand her recollection would be as skewed as mine, being emotionally closer to the day in question.  This was a powerful day for me, almost my own little miniature charlie in the chocolate factory. It kinda is a metaphor for most of my life, as odd as it may sound when you hear the tale.

       I was about 8 or 9, living in southern CA, my soccer team had made it to some bigger game. Which while it seemed so important at the time has long since faded away.  The trip the team took to Disney Land has stayed with me.  The coach, some of the parents, two older kids teens, and a soccer team of 8 and 9 year old boys.   What could possibly go wrong you ask?  Fair enough question if you weren't me.  It was decided that the two teens could watch the rest of us, while they went off.  Hey it was the 70's it's how it was done, and we were a team. We set a time to meet back up at 3:00 pm under Snow Whites castle, and away we go.
At some point we are milling about deciding what to do next, and I told the teen girl in charge I was gonna grab a chocolate covered frozen banana, pointed to the stand, waited for her to acknowledge me, and off I go.  I walk the 20 or so paces, buy the treat, turn around, and everyone is gone.  It was like poof, I turned around for a few moments, and everyone I knew was gone.  Some of you are in panic mode right now, OMG a 9 year old lost in Disney Land.  Please slow your roll, and think about what you just said.  I was a 9 year old boy that had been to Disney many times, I had an all day pass back in the day of E-ticket rides, and no one for me to guilty about keeping from some other ride they wanted to see.  Once I was over the initial shock, I was off like shot to spend as much time as I wanted on Tom Sawyers island.  I wriggled and sat in the caves till I felt like moving on, I road the corvette stingray cars, not quite sure how I pulled that off as I am pretty sure I was didn't meet the height requirement.  Next came this arcade next to Space Mountain that had laser disc games that looked like movies to my mind.  I'm not sure if I really road Space Mountain or not, because the event that happened when riding the escalator down is still so powerful in my emotions.  I had been behaving very well thus far.  I had no desire to alert any adults to the fact I was without supervision, a trait I would perfect in high school I assure you.  This changed as the environment itself reveled it's potential to be a ride. Next thing I was riding the hand rail for the escalator down. What I didn't realize was my knee was not going to make it past a floor the escalator was passing.  My knee gets caught and I start fall forward and swing out over the abyss waiting below.  Next thing I feel is a really sharp jerk on my collar, lifting me clear up and setting me feet first in the middle of the escalator like I had been there the whole time.  I turn around as I'm hearing a little girls voice asking "Mommy did you just save that boy?".  When I look into the face of my rescuer I did not see a Mommy.  I'm not certain what it was I saw there, but it was alot bigger, and more focused then any mom I had seen. The spell was snapped in an instant, and I was running down the escalator so I could escape the after effects of the heroic save.  I don't remember much after that point, till I was in a novelty shop and bought a fake melted ice cream bar.  Asked a person for the time, heard something very close to 3, I thanked him and ran off to the castle to end my adventure.  Even the rest of the day, and the reunion at the castle has faded to only knowing it must of happened.  That day though, it was magical for me, and still is.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard 

People Math

          Today I'm gonna talk about people, my feelings about people in the abstract are as varied are their individuals.  Like most of us I guess I swing from utter frustration to utter amazement. Contempt to envy, I revel in their victories, and winch through their defeats.  So while I love them they annoy the crap out of me when it's to much to close for to long.  So as always only keep the parts that stick, the rest isn't for you.

         I've mentioned before that in my twenties I took LSD. It like so many things in existence had it's birth, growth, and death in my physical experience.  At the height I was taking as much as 10 doses per session, and having sessions as often as 3 or 4 times a week. With a few several day in row excursions of doubling dosages.  Many of these events were turned into meditation sessions sometimes lasting 8 to 10 hours straight.  When I would comeback to physical awareness I would scribble like the madman I was.  The following is some of what I remember and have been practicing, or refining since.

I'm going to start off simply here with small groups. I will also be assuming that the individual people involved are all 1 themselves, and their internal lives are balanced.

1 is a multiverse unto itself, since it is always 1 it does not always see itself as such. This is a fully inclusive group, until it isn't. A person alone will drift into their own world, every bit as real to them as the collective world they left.  The longer the apparent separation the more apparent it will be.

2 is a knife edge, it takes focus to maintain a group of 2, each person must be aware of the full range of needs of the other and be able to anticipate them, as well as being willing to play these roles. To be all things to another is no mean feat. This is the essence of duality, it's so personal it's amazingly intense. So much so if we do not understand when to break our gaze we can be lost. This is the idea of star crossed lovers, and twin flames. Groups of 2 will generally attract a 3rd, or split into groups of 1's

3 Everyone knows this one, it's everywhere mother/father/child. this one is so easy to spot and the compromises people make to balance a 2 artificially abound.  Funny thing with trinities when everyone believes we are in a duality is this. One of the 3 is usually not always obvious, this is easily revealed in the ideas of body/mind/spirit each being less apparent to the external.  In people it is shown in situations where a couple will get a dog to replace the need for a child to keep them bound.  There are "darker" aspects this can play out in relationship triangles, and they have been portrayed so many ways I do not think I need to cover them. Three becomes the baseline for all other relationship forms, as it's the first stable shape.  If you look in your life you can find your own trines, see what portion of the trinity you are playing, and what if anything you wish to change about it. These roles are variously titled mind/body/soul, father/son/holy ghost, writer/director/actor.

4 This is the square, and just like in nature it doesn't last.  The energy needed to keep the form cause it to break rather rapidly into smaller groups, or attract more to expand. This is a form only kept through great energy expenditure of all involved. More often then not, and usually sooner rather then later a group of 4 will break into smaller groups. squares are rough. Groups of 4 that work are not a square but a 3 sided pyramid.

5 The pentagon, and it's use in the shape of the building of it's namesake. This is about competition, and defense. Groups of 5 make really good game groups, or us against them. This is the number where you really start playing fort, or any of the team sports, as it takes 5 for a 2v2 game.  This is the idea that an outside part must witness any event for it to have reality beyond the moment. So here we find organized team events.  I see this in the family vrs family game shows always start with 5 per side.

6  this is 2 trinities interlocked and the next group that will be self balancing. Though it's balance will be in interlocking sets of 3, who's connections to the others may not at first discern. This is where you start to see the connection between families through the generations.  This is where time begins to really show up in the grandparents idea. or in the now in the 2 families of 3 on a picnic.
This has been the repeating 6 has been depicted as evil due to the ideas of mirroring being taught here.

7 is the the number of mystery, or luck. In people it's when you can have a balance, or link between independent trinities.  This where you get the illusion, where 2 independent groups find their link. Demonstrated in people in the idea of a mutual friend of 2 families of 3.  This is where most people do not want to get past this is where it all clicks for the first time. You get connected to another complete unit to another complete unit through a center point.

8 groups are where they become self sustaining and strong sense of inclusion, as well as exclusion. Groups of 8 will begin to the illusion of the never ending party, with each member pulling the others to stay till no one can handle it. This is the point where in Families you begin to see yourself into the future. The idea being your grandchild gets married, so your potential great grandchild is just over the horizon.

9 groups are the trinities of trinities, it's the idea of 3 complete units being interconnected.  The interlocking of the trinity's This is a place groups become solidified into families. The bonds have been passed down with the thread still being visible. This is an organization that is ready to be brought to the public attention. The 9 signals to the world the birth of a new thing.

10 I am adding this in to show the completion to wholeness not generally shown, and what it means to me.  This is the 1 standing on it's own with the backing of the all and the nothing. Another way of looking at it is the 1 that knows it is both nothing and everything. It's a matter perspective and how you shine the light.

This only a starting point and not entirely accurate. So please use your own discernment as always.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Because Life is the Best Drug Ever, and I'm an Addict

          I had intended to write about the nature of form and structure. A very abstract look at the notion and origins of form itself.  A topic I find completely fascinating, but even though my ideas are well formed I was having trouble even getting past the title.  What I have been asked repeatedly is this. Why are you here?
This is one of those questions that we can only answer for ourselves.  We are the ones that pluck the meaning from the story of our lives.  We highlight our joys, and shut away our shame.  The immediate answer was this.  It's the greatest drug ever.          I always laughed at the anti-drug commercial from my youth.

 Friends and I would laugh, and giggle as we said I wanna be a junkie when I grow up.  The very concept of being alive or dead is rolled up in this. Notions of good, and evil, right and wrong. This is why I get such a charged reaction people how say things like "it's all good".  I mean do you think before you say this?  I know in the absolute there are no distinctions, and can be no distinctions. This is not a place of the infinite, this is a place to be finite. If all are infinite, and eternal Bliss evermore, it becomes as ash. You become the zombies that are so popular.  Your hunger for life never sated, how can it be, you've defined yourself as  infinite.  If infinite is what we truly are, the finite is our holiday. A break from being all, knowing all. All power no surprise, no mystery.  To put it a different way this is the only place in all of creation where there seems to be chance.  More eloquently expressed as "can't see the forest for the trees".  For this next part I am still learning, and because it is something I'm still working through I see it so clearly in others personal responsibility.  In our furious rush toward the light we seem to be losing sight of the hard won lessons of darkness.  That the choice to be God, or creator of your own reality, all those seemingly freeing concepts used by the misguided, the misunderstood, the deceitful.  Lead not to abandonment of responsibility, but to the yoke of enslavement to your own creations.
         There is so much talk about mind over matter,and so many great sayings that apply. "If you don't mind, it don't matter", "Out of sight, out of mind", and more recently "The Immaterial has become, Immaterial"  The idea being if you can not conceive of it, or see it, it does not matter.  Condensed even farther down to if it's not matter, it does not matter.  So many use these as ideas to free themselves from the shackles of morality.  When I say morality I don't mean of any spiritual, sexual, or individual choices of lifestyle of any particular group. I mean it in a very simple way. Violence of any kinda is not moral.  By violence I mean the act of violating the will of another, or attempting to impose your will on another through any means.  An example of this might be, if you take the mind and spirit away from the potter, you'll end up with an ugly lump of clay.

In closing I'd like say thanks to my Mom, for suffering through the distance created for me to learn be responsible for my own mess.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

So You Want To Create Your Own Reality

         I've studied so many belief systems, be they religious, new age, magical, science.  What I've always believed was if they ever got it right. They would all be saying the same thing using different languages.  They all are attempting to accomplish the goal of explaining the who/what/how/why/when of well everything.  They all seem to have their own approaches, each starting from a differing perspective, all with the same finish line.  In having at least a theoretical understanding of many different views allows you to see commonalities.   For quite sometime this was a hobby of mine. I used to love to see where you could find physics explained in religious texts.  I know this doesn't sound exciting to most, but like they say "to each their own".  What I realized was how realities are formed from the infinite formlessness of the void was being told in each of these systems. I just had never had the eyes to see it.  Before I continue, this will be the disclaimer, this is my interpretation of information I've collected from everywhere. I have no expectation of your acceptance of it, and can only say do your own work.
         Now to get started, I'm going to have to give you my assumptions.
1. There is only one thing in all of creation. We have come to label this thing God, and God is infinite, defying all definition.

2. Form or structure is not infinite as such it is of the realm of mind, and is knowable as it is definition itself.

          For the next portion I'm going to use the tree of life as my model or map.

Here I'd like to point out a few things.  This model or map is the one that has been used by most western spiritual, and magical systems. That it is actually a portion of one full fractal in the flower of life model.  What I'd like to get across today is about the abyss which is located just below the top spheres, and the veil of life and death which is just above the bottom sphere.  I see this in many ways, on the one hand it's a spiritual map providing sign posts in the wilderness. On the hand it's the story of how the infinite was able to turn itself into the finite.  In coming to a personal understanding of this story I have been able to come to know myself with greater clarity.  The thing that strikes me about this is, if this is a model of how the infinite became what we know, then I ought to be able to see how it was accomplished.  If you look at this diagram as the flow of energy, you start to see that the energy runs top to bottom, and bottom to top. This idea of energy flow is important when taken into consideration of how the abyss and veils are working.  The story of this image is that the three spheres above the abyss form the original trinity.  This is where Enoch went when god came and took him.  The story goes that if you go up beyond the abyss you do not comeback.  When we take these things into account, it's made pretty clear this is the first cross current, or falsehood we must accept to exist below it is that we are individuals. This is the subject object division. It might be helpful to some to point out that this is a duality, as our reality seems to be, I've noticed that and duality is really a trinity with 2 manifest obviously, and 1 hidden.  The bottom veil is of life and death. This one shouldn't be very tough for most people. I have also thought of this another way. In order for us to believe the world we are in is real, we have to be at least double blind to our creator.
       

Jack
aka
PanseyBard




     

The Stories We Tell

            I warn you this post will not be for the feint of heart, and this is your spoiler alert.  I'm going to tell you a story, or many stories. I'm going to show how we use story to create the shared experience.  First I'd like go back a little to the question that started me on this personal journey of the impersonal nature of self.
           I've read tons, and part of that has led me to the repetition of the stories we tell.  The same myth's being repackaged again, and again, the names may alter, details shift over time, or distance to tailor the story.  My questions were about who would be spreading these stories, and why?  What follows is where those questions have taken me.  I make no claims to answers, just perceptions, make of them what you will.
     
          Why do we tell these stories over and over, and what does their retelling do to and for us?  The shared tales of childhood give us a frame of reference to relate to each other.  These stories handed down for generations, Disney has redone them, reskined them and sold them again. These form the bridges that span the gulf between us. They give shape to our very experience of reality itself.  Every nation has it's own story it pass on to it's citizens to give cultural cohesion. Each of us uses these stories to help flesh out our own running narrative. They help define how we see ourselves, others, and the world as a whole.
         This next bit might attack some of the most cherished held notions of self.  What we typically think of as the self is really the ego attached to the physical form.  The ego has no identity, it is ego. The job it performs is the protection of the physical.  The way it creates it's identity is a running narrative of all it's experiences up to the present moment. As we all know memory is a slippery thing, we don't remember things like a video recording. We color it with emotions, present, and past. We are forgiving in ways we never would be in the now.  Like the ideal future we see around the bend, the past becomes idealized.  We then tie our sense of self to this narrative. Limiting our view of self to a few decades.  In a real sense our identity is a story we tell ourselves, and broadcast to existence.
        I played mmorpg's, so this next part is going to be told from that framework.
there may be terms I use which you are unfamiliar with if you care to you can find definitions here.  When you log into an mmorpg for the first time you have to create a character, or avatar. This is the character you use to interact in the game world. Each game has it's own set of customization options, these may include species/ races, colors of all kinds and generally you choose a class/job to start out with.  Each game has a different set of options you must choose before you ever even enter the game.  Some worlds even have no set job/class to chose going in, but like this world it's something you develop through playing.  Now these choices are all being made before your avatar ever enters the world, from your avatars perspective they had no say in them. This is very much like apparently randomness of the "accident" of our births.  Now I might play in several different game worlds, in each the rules are different and I am a different avatar.    This seems like a good time to introduce a couple of rpg concepts metagaming, and persistent  worlds. Metagaming is simply the act of bringing the real world into the game world. This is something that in mmorpg's is the norm, in the days of pen and paper rpgs this would result in stiff penalties at the game masters discretion.  Persistent Worlds is the idea that the world keeps going even when your not in it.  Think of it like when you sleep the world keeps spinning, things happen that you then catch up on when you wake.  The same thing happens here from a metagame perspective.  When a body dies the player logs out, and goes back to their real world. Some people immediately create a new avatar and reenter the world.  The trick is due to the true function of karma they don't start back at level 1, they leave off kinda where they were.  Others take a break, and go do other things whatever those may be. While they are gone this world being a world of time/space continues on. By the time that player chooses to log back into this world they may not even recognize it, As well as having to now catch up to those that have been playing in the more recent linear past.
        How you may be asking does this relate to the idea of story being a major component of how we create our perception of reality?  Well stay with me, the stories are how we not just define, put also our place in it. The stories tell us the rules everyone else is playing by. See this world could be likened to a double blind set up.  We intentional hide the connection to source and through that all that is, not once, but twice. This is shown in the esoteric teachings as the veils, or the abyss separating the physical realm from god or source or first cause. This double blind, or as I think of it multi layered delusion ensures the attachment to the physical body as the identity of self.  When your going to have a limited physical experience, and believe it as real you have to not just have a sense of separation from others, but also a sense of separation from source. This encourages the identification with the body.  Since the ego is actually a new born entity, it has no choice but to craft an identity for itself  amalgam of  it's experience thus far, and they collective stories it's been imprinted with through repetition.
       There is also a feed back effect built into the system as a whole. creation itself seeks to adapt to the needs of those within it.  This is also leads back to why the stories are so important. The stories help reinforce the world itself. For me it isn't an esoteric question of primacy between, mind, body, spirit. It's the idea that form is a product of mind, creating structure from chaos is a product of mind.  This is the realm where patterning takes place, where story does it's work.

if there is any desire I will give a more detailed look at how the tarot as a representation of the tree of life can be used to show the story, the characters, and the actions.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Pirates and the New World Order

      Americans seem to have a love affair with idea of a pirate.  We romanticize them like we do the cowboys, creating a picture of a world that never existed.  They have come to represent a sense of freedom we seem to have lost in our constricted civilized world.   This got me thinking what place does the pirate have in our modern world.  When I started to look around I noticed many of our most famed or infamous have much in common with the beloved pirate.

Pirate defined

      What we get is a picture of a person that holds no loyalty to any nation. A pirate is beyond such considerations, not out of a sense of duty to something bigger then a nation. The pirate is out for the pirate. Many of our top level corporate officers, bankers, and the like are modern pirates.  They profit from off shore, paying no heed to national loyalties.

         So when I was watching the popular modern pirate epics Pirates of the Caribbean. I started noticing  there seemed to be an odd theme to the first movie.
I then watched the 3rd, looking to see if this one also had an odd overall teaching.
Not surprisingly it was easily found.  By the time I watched the middle film I was sure it would be easy to spot. Surprisingly it completely escaped me, this may have been due to being distracted.  Taken in whole these are basic guidelines for how to live a pirates life.

Curse of the Black Pearl: "what a man can do, and what a man can't do"  that is a very profound lesson for a would be pirate.  Laws do not apply to a pirate, so there is only what you are able and willing to do, and what you are unable, or unwilling to do.

 Dead Man's Chest: there is no quote from this movie that I found that aptly spells out the lesson. Instead the lesson is shown by every character in their actions. That message being every man for himself, or self interest governs all.
This is clearly shown as every character lies, cheats, and steals for their own perceived well being.

 At Worlds End: "take what you can, give nothing back" This is pretty self explanatory, and quite evident.

So there it is, if you want to know how to become pirate, live by those guidelines.

Oh and for a bit of fun, look at how our international corporations have been acting.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

So You Want to be a Wizard Harry?

Funny question?.........Maybe

Though if we are honest, I'm sure many of us have had a fantasy or two about being Gandalf, Harry Potter, or Merlin the list could go on and on.   I'm not telling you that your going to be slinging fireballs, or lighting bolts, but Magic might be as good a way of describing how things work as any. The fun part is, if these theories are correct magic isn't just possible. Everyone is already doing it all the time.
        Let me explain, many of the more progressive, or out there conceptions of the universe end up with in simplistic terms a matrix or web of interconnecting energy.
It doesn't seem to matter if your talking quantum mechanics, holographic universe theory, simulated reality. The result is a bi-directional communication that allows for you to consciously influence your reality.
        These are not new conceptions, most of our ancient mystery traditions have as a foundation the idea that the reality we perceive is not real.   When taken in conjunction with the energy systems such as the chakras, or chi energy.  If changing the flow of energy through these systems can alter your experience in the world isn't that already a form of what most people would think of as magic?
        There are many "new age" sites that talk about creating your own reality. Manifesting might be a more accurate word, as you don't really create anything.
What is happening is a form of sympathetic magic.  You create the environment which attracts your desired result to you.  The magic is being done on you. You become that which attracts what you desire, or you set the stage for your actors to play on.

        These are pretty basic ideas easy to put into practice, your already doing it.


Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Balance of the Anointed

The other day someone pointed me to the Alex Grey picture of Jesus.

At the bottom of this image were these excepts from the gospel of Thomas.

Jesus said "When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside, and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same...then you will enter the Kingdom of God."

I've come to think of this as the balance of the anointed one. I'm come to see these in my own way, being an eclectic mix so is my take on this concept.

First I'd like to look at top to bottom, This one has been covered all over the place.

There are few who have heard of the chakra centers. These are what I see as the top to bottom, This is where we get the idea of being heart centered. Here is a video, and you can find as much info as you want with a search

What is meant by making the male, and the female one? For me it points to the hemispheres of the brain. The left hemisphere is very outwardly focused male aspect, driven by logic. While the right hemisphere is an inwardly focused feminine aspect, driven by intuition. There is a twist on a very simple meditation that many people use on a regular basis. The candle meditation, where you pick a spot beyond a candle flame, and see the flame while looking at the spot. This will cause the flame to appear double. I also sometimes do this with just holding my finger out, and looking beyond it while seeing my finger.  This double vision causes both hemispheres of the brain to be active simultaneously. The male and female become one. Here is a nice binural to help in maintaining this balance

Lastly, only because for me this one has been the toughest. Balance your internal and external realities. We all carry around two realities, internal, and external.

For most of us these remain relatively close, meaning the line up fairly well. 

When these don't line up very well all sorts of odd effects manifest. We all run around and make assumptions about the world we see based solely on dialogue running in our minds, this is a form of projection. We all project all the time, we are also projected on by the external world. For me this is where the being as little children is very handy. Children accept things as they are, they have no preconceived notions, they lack the experience to project.

please keep in mind I profess no religion, or do I say I actually know anything.

Jack

aka

PanseyBard 

Lie to Me

I'm a liar, I can't help it. I lie to you, and I lie to myself. My own senses lie to me all the time. Nothing I see is really how I perceive it. The colors I see are never the color of what I'm seeing. Even allowing the senses their foibles, my mind will erase, and paint in items.
       Everything about the place we find ourselves is designed to make me believe it's the end all be all.  So I'm going to lie to myself by default, and lie to you the same way. Lets forget about the fact that our being here together has to be a lie.
Instead how about we take a look just at my own internal processes.   Most of us are incapable of being honest even with themselves.  We have trouble taking responsibility for our part in the events of our lives.  We tell lies to make ourselves feel better. We tell lies to protect others feelings, which is still just to make things easier on ourselves.
       So I'm going to lie to you, and your going to lie to me.

Thank you

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Free? Will? hahah!!!!

Heyas, gonna talk a bit about free, and will today. 

If you accept a creator deity that is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient, it would follow that your "freewill" is an illusion. You really have no choice, if what your choice will be is known before you choose.

I'd rather not get stuck on this point, as it really doesn't get to the heart of freedom, or will. Free will is an amazingly oxymoronic idea. Free nothing that has a physical existence is free. The idea of for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction comes to mind.  Free is never free, there is always a price, even if you have trouble directly seeing it.  Within the bounds of a finite creation, we create nothing. We move things around, combine them in novel ways, but we take what is there already, and re-purpose. 

As for will it might be the most expensive of "freedoms" we ever exercise.

Will is something that is imposed, it is violent by nature. In exercising will I am saying I am the instigator,  I am the source, I know what has to happen. 

There is so much to these concepts, I could tap away and never scratch the surface.

I'm going to impose my will on creation and see where it leads

Jack

aka

PanseyBard

 

I am Insane, and Stupid, How about You?

The transience of existence is where I live. The idea that I have come from the void is a comfort. Vomited forth like one half of a particle pair in the reaches of space.  Spinning through a so called life, front side seats to the burning of Rome.
This is the darkness in my soul, the insane burden I place on this thing I call self.
I know less and less with each passing moment, the sum of human knowledge growing exponentially, my portion shrinking in relation.
        Still I wonder how can we have allowed this paradise to become so jaded, so lost in the idea of persistent reality. The comfort of illusory security locking out the boogyman.  We hand over our power without a thought if the systems are really designed for our benefit. Even those that wake up enough to start asking questions rarely stop to think if they have enough information to even make an informed choice.
        When was the last time most of actually read our constitution? How about asking the questions about our money. Ever ask where it comes from, how it's value is determined? Most of us never ask questions that may throw into doubt the life we are engaged in. Do you ever question your motivations? We have all to one degree or another invested into the existence we share. It is that very investment that becomes the trap. We can no longer question the validity of what we have invested in, or risk losing our investment.
      I am insane, and stupid, I question everything, even my own existence.


Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Seeing, Is it Believing?

Recently I was asked by a friend how we see color.  This turned into a discussion on how we see in general, and I realized how many people don't really understand how their senses function.

So how do we see?
We see a reflection, What we actually are seeing is the light that was not absorbed by the object we are looking at.
So nothing we see is actually how we see it.
When we see a certain color, it's because the other colors of the spectrum were absorbed, and the color we see was reflected.

This leads me to the idea of our own time.

We don't really share the same moment. The closer we get in physical space the closer to the same moment we become. I guess I should qualify that.
What I mean is due to the time delay, regardless of how small it is. I am in my own time. The things I sense have already happened.
The same can be said of other senses.


Whats the point?
For me it's handy to keep in mind, so I remember my senses are by design lying to me.

Jack
aka
PanseyBard

Spinning a New Conspiracy Tale

Good Morning.

Today I'm gonna tell a story. Some aspects of the story as based in "historical fact".  Other parts are just some connections I've drawn for the sheer joy of it.

Most of you know, a good portion of the founding fathers of the USA were Masons. Most of you have also at least heard about the idea of a few families controlling the worlds banking system. Slightly less well known, the revolution being fought not over taxation, and representation, but over the control, and printing of currency. 

Now the Federal Reserve is the 3rd incarnation of a privately owned/controlled central bank in the US. The first 2 were dissolved, as it was recognized the loss of sovereignty suffered when a private entity owned, and controlled your money supply.

So here is my concept for a plausible domination of the US.

The US wins the revolution, The Masonic dream of a nation of their own is realized. This was quickly followed quickly by the shadow banking cartel taking over the money system, and by default ownership of the nation. This was done through the 1st, and 2nd banks of the united states, and then established to dominance with the Fed. The beauty of this plot is being able to leave the established government in place. In many cases even the members of the government are aware of the coup. Then in 1953 "In God We Trust" was added to the notes. Many have used the symbols on the dollar to show the masonic connection. The Phrase actually completes the joke, people have come to trust the money/banks above all. Now with 3 words the Masons had provided a clue, and a warning. 

Just a little fun, poke it full of holes so I can rework it.

Jack

aka PanseyBard

Centers of Perception

How am I going to define centers of perception?

By one view we each have a higher/middle/lower self, or maybe you'd prefer the labels id/ego/superego, how about reptilian/mammalian/neo-cortex. Why not expand that a bit. How about the chakra points? Couldn't they be perceptions centers?  Each of these centers think, maybe not in the way we generally qualify thinking. Perhaps a more accurate statement would be they perceive and react to stimulation in their environment. Many people can understand this quite easily in the in the phrase "the heart wants, what the heart wants".

          

This is all well and good, everything working as intended. What I am interested in is the integration of these centers as a whole. I constantly about people saying they want to overcome their "lower nature", or They have moved out of "lower vibrations". All that is happening in these instances is, you ignore the perceptions you are uncomfortable with, or that conflict with another center you view in a more positive way. Just because you ignore, repress, or a deny a perception center, doesn't make it poof and go away. More often it finds expression in ways becoming increasingly out of harmony with the centers you are paying attention to.

Yes once again I am talking about awareness. Becoming aware of how each center operates. Denying or repressing a center often will cause that center to spin out of balance, causing problems that if not attended to will manifest in a physical way.

These uncontrolled discharges are often detrimental.

Listen to the messages, be able to apply your discernment to all your centers.

Become one.

Jack

aka PanseyBard