Never was is all that will do.

       Recently on www.quora.com I was asked a question that has me a little disturbed. It's not the question that got to me, it was my own answer.  The question was pretty simple, when did I last do something fun, that left me with a fond feeling.  What has me a little warped is that I had to admit to myself, that not only has been a very long time since I did something really fun. That it seems that most of what I had at one time considered fondly had lost it's shine.  To be fair I never was caught up by what most people seem interested in.  As example the idea of married, and kids seemed irresponsible before I even dropped out of high school.  I wasn't so impressed with the world I found, so how could I do as society asked, get a job settle down, and have kids. I would be sentencing my own children to what I had already deemed a farce of freedom. So I skipped it all, all the major rights of passage of the modern US. From prom to hs graduation, college, marriage, children, all brushed off as not meaningful for my experience. What became meaningful was to explore the idea of creation itself, as I had already rejected so much of what seems fundamental to humans, pair bonding, and procreation, needed something to lend purpose.  Not that I lacked relationships, just they were doomed from the start, as I could commit to the person, but was unwilling to do the family thing.
      Life became about how I could get fucked up next, where was my next high going to come from. By my early 20's dealing as a regular part of making enough to cover expenses, as well as the free time to make doing drugs my go to. To be clear, I only sold stuff I was doing, so main pot, and lsd, occasional opium and mushrooms. During this time I studied, religious, magical, physics, anything that purported to explain reality, and why creation was, where humanity fit. Anything that could explain why. I learned tons, stuff that seems to apply across the spectrum of understanding. What I found about meaning and purpose seems to be the same as every other sage, or seeker who has come before. This isn't the place. That this is the only place, what is, is, and always was. The forms may change, the energies shift, but there really isn't a purpose to life. That life is the purpose of life, and it only has meaning in relation to itself.  I found that what life has to offer is sensation, that meaning is contextual and absolutes have no place here. That the things people value, and sacrifice seem to be inverted. Instead of our advancement freeing us to be more humane, to be more oriented toward life, toward home, and family. Had been turned to enslave us more to systems that serve themselves, and chew life up, and consume it without a thought. The more I found the less connected I felt, not to humanity, but to the ideas put forward by the cultural I grew up in. I've found I never really had a place in the world I grew up in.
       I found that while being alive wasn't an issue, I had no desires for any of it. My day to day became going through the motions, pretending I was living for free time. While filling that time with escapist pursuits, books, video games, movies. This over consumption of media just reinforced what I had already learned, we've been stuck in loops. We are playing out dramas right out our oldest stories, that 13 base stories make up our drama, and I wasn't interested in any of them. That while there was only love for everyone, I wished to have never been.  Not suicidal as that seems to not help, once you are, you are. So here I am, another year just starting, the world seemingly trying to recover from it's past. While I just wanna get through it, wishing I never was.    

Being Multi Di Men Shun All

         As the title would suggest I'm going to talk about being a multidimensional entity. At least the how's and what not as I understand them in my current state of un foldment.  To start I am speaking for me, myself, and I, you should believe whatever gets you through the day, and helps you sleep at night.  This is likely to be simpler, and because it is so simple, rejected out of hand by most who see it.  That's ok, no really, nothing is actually hidden or off limits to anyone. Provided they freely choose it, and are able to grasp their desire, so it spills out all over blessing, and cursing those watching.
        Being a Multi D-Man is nothing, it's like time travel, just kick back your already doing it.  Ok, well that's a wrap, thank you for not reading or subbing, fine, but ya know there are at least half dozen or so voices telling me some version of pearls before swine.  There are more that just love bacon.  I'm going to use what is seemingly a hot topic lately, though I do not get it.  Flat, vs, Globe earth.  Like almost every question, the answer is not in the earth, perceptually it can be either, and not change the experience. What changes is you, as always. How elastic can you as an individual have your mind function. Kinda like this, how many ways can you come up with to handle any situation. that is how multi dimensional you are in relation to that. Can you hold Vader, and Luke in your mind, and love them both for the perceived evil they both brought. Or how about that life is the greatest gift, while being the most evil thing ever conceived of.  This is not rocket science though most will crash and burn, they do not get balance. Believing in the idea of taking off for the clouds, and wild blue yonder is going to help them move forward.  Or that in no thought lies salvation, or nirvana, all you do is forget, and all those amazingly hard things you have to do over till you learn them, as self.
     The me/myself/and I that reside in this physical form now is getting really sick of everyone attempting to wife, job or child it. I can just go, I do not need any of this, or anyone. I'm a multiple and can full entertain myself for eternity. I am here by request, either get the fuck out of my way, and let me fulfill what was asked of me, or gimme your damn paper, take the ideas I have and exploit them. I mean shit I never asked to be here, been writing this stuff for as long as I can remember, now there is some kind of crunch, and holy shit we better asked the stoner people.  They rejected most of your world before I heard of it. I have never cared about money, I am often called money, why?  because I piss that shit, the biological waste most people think nothing of is usually of more value than what people supposedly earn for doing repetitive machine jobs.  Redefine yourself, do not allow yourself to be caged or labeled. Be your own center, or someone will be all to happy to slide into that role.
       I've several times deleted all my social media, it's not that I do not have fun, it's that everyone on each of them think it's theirs like they can make something that relies on as many people as possible using it, and than say they own it. that in case you didn't get it is a form of being slave to. I'm not saying I'm something special, quite the opposite. I'm a moron. I love to get high, and talk about crazy shit most will have no desire to play with, and obviously if we are going to cage worth by some numbers on paper, or a screen we will all fail. It's not like I'm advocating against accounting, or saying all are equal in ability to distribute those resources in a wise fashion. I'm not even saying I would be good at that, that is another machine job.  People are the dolls, that play in the garden of the Gods. if your a person why are you chasing? If your deity is one of lack, and limitations, how omnipotent can it be.  If you want to tell me you worked hard for what you have, I call bullshit. motion does work, which is merely a potential differential equalization. popping your ears in the plane.  Now I'm willing to play many roles, but crap am I sick of being treated like a patient, as if I am supposed to be doing something differently. Do you talk to my deity? cuz I do all the time, and do mostly what is asked of me. When my creator has a problem with me it will let me know.  Btw much of this is coming from the nonsense that goes on in LinkedIn it seems all they want me to do is work, a career, something to give me vested interests. I'm not interested, my vested interest is in people, in sound, light and color, in play, in death, in the human condition whatever that is.
     I seem to be able to talk to the living, or dead those seem to switch, weather I'm alive or dead seems to be solely in relation to who I'm interacting with, crazy right?  Like I was tripping on sodium fluoride, a neurotoxin if you didn't know, with the salt being a rapid blood stream delivery mechanism. On those nights I was in my bathroom just frying my mind out, and learning how to make the bathroom become an isolated weather generator, through using heat and cold to draw air flow, and create a vortex. While in there I started getting tons of stuff about Disney. Oddly almost no one had heard of Walt, though a few weeks later I'm being told he frequented this area. Did I really speak to a dead man that almost no one here has heard of, but in my world was such a huge historical figure there was almost no one that did not know him.  What part of I do not work do people not get. according to who invited me, I'm a Quinn and they do not work here. Whatever that means. It's all Charlotte's web, I'm caught in it just like everyone.

Jack